To think that nursery/pre school isn’t always necessary ?

[progestermoan]

If one parent is at home and you go to a group or two/the park/do activities at home/play dates ?

Does it really matter if a child isn’t using their 3 y o funding or attending at a younger age?
My ds is only 18 months and I’m getting questions when will he go ? Why is t his name down ? I am lucky enough to be at home and don’t see that it’s necessary it’s personal choice after all?
We are considering home education for him when he’s older though maybe this is why I’m leaning towards this approach but I’m fed up of people asking me !

My youngest loves going to nursery and I enjoy the break when not at work! Every child is different but I think it's good for children to socialise with other children and my daughter has come on leaps and bounds the last couple of years she has been attending.

No not necessary at all. If you don’t want him to go don’t send him. Used to be a few children went to nursery now it's the majority.
Just don’t send him.

Preschool was the making of my DS. We were very active with groups and play dates but nothing compared to the skills he learned without me at preschool.

Your child is still very young. There's a big difference between 18mo and 3yo.

We planned to home educate and so have never sent our 4 and 2 year old.

It's not compulsory, if you don't want to then don't. But I think it always worth revisiting decisions at different ages to see if your feelings have changed.

It isn’t necessary. Going from absolutely nothing organised to full time school might be a bit of a culture shock, though.

Not necessary at all, none of ours went. We didn't need the childcare and when pre school they played with friends and we taught all the socialisation skills they needed to start school. They all knew how to read, write and do basic maths, even the ones with sn.

If you need to work and don't want to educate and socialise your children then outsourcing parenting for the time you are working is fine for the kids.

I knew I could do a better job and was at home, so did it myself.

It's probably hard to see while your ds is still only 18 months old, but nursery or pre school doesn't make a huge difference to children, even those with active, engaged parents. Going to groups and doing one on one things with a parent there the whole time is not comparable to the experience of nursery. They are not mutually exclusive, children can benefit from both.

It probably matters less if you are definitely going to home educate, but starting school at 4 having had no experience of an educational setting can be very difficult for children.

I was lucky enough to be at home aswell when my sons were little.
With my youngest I only put him in a pre school 2 days a week (9:00-3:00) when he turned 3, because I wanted him to get used to school hours and being without me. He absolutely loved it, even though I was going to groups with him and had play dates, he really did love pre school.
I wouldn't worry about it at the moment as he's still very young, as to other people lecturing you about it, I'd tell them to mind their own business! 😬

I was at home too but my DD all went to pre-school and loved it. It helped prepare them for school in that they were taught to sit quietly while the register was taken, at meal times etc.. be respectful of each other ... I found it beneficial but each to their own.

18m is still so little. You might find he's completely different in 6m/1 years time.

By 2 DS was asking me when it was playgroup day and would be sad when it was shut in the holidays. He's 3 now and can't wait to go to primary with the big children (we can see the playground from our living room window)

I personally think yabu. I feel it's necessary. Theres so much more that my ds Montessori does that I can never do at home/playgroups cant even come close to. He also benefitted from having a resident OT at the school who identified sensory issues very early on. He is 3 btw and started at 16 months.
Just my personal opinion, but I always notice the difference in children who do to some sort of nursery setting than those that stay at home .

Depends how involved the parent is as to whether they need nursery or not; not whether they are at home or not.. At DN’s nursery (he’s 3) the kids his age who are the most behind (ie unable to feed themselves / not potty trained / violent or unable to play well with kids) are the ones who had a parent at home and who just started nursery to get their free hours.

My DDS didn't go to any pre schools or groups

DD1 started Nursery at 4, Primary 1 at 5

DD2 started Nursery at 4 1/2, Primary 1 at 5 1/2

I don't think it's necessary for most children, but I do think it's beneficial. I can see such a difference in my DCs development because of nursery 3 days a week. Even if me or my husband was at home with them full time we wouldn't think up or have the energy to do the incredible variety of activities and learning they do.
It's also been good for them to mix with children and adults from other backgrounds in a more formal setting than playgroup etc and they've learnt a lot about forming relationships.

On the other hand, it was definitely necessary from my point of view, staying at home full time with a toddler is my idea of hell!

I personally think it is healthy for children to form bonds with other care-givers. I also think it is beneficial for children to spend time playing/socialising/learning without a parent constantly being there.

Nursery isn’t essential but it can be brilliant if you get a good one. However you have to do what is right for you and your child.

Both my DSs were ready for something by 2.5-3. They went to a little play school a couple of mornings a week and then did a year at the pre school nursery five mornings a week. When they were younger than this, being at home with me was great but they definitely benefitted and thrived at those small nurturing spaces for those few hours.

With hindsight I wish my daughter had done more preschool. We didn't need it for childcare and I'm a big believer in "let them be little" so I wasn't planning to use it. However when we toured primary schools we heard several times that they could really see the difference in children who had been to preschool, so we put her in two mornings a week from January to July. She loved it and learned a lot, although the focus was still on play. She still struggled a lot with the transition to full time school (she's a summer born premmie, which didn't help). I think doing more preschool sessions would have helped her.

Undecided on whether it's necessary or not,
depends on lots of factors. Quality of home life would be a major factor, parenting ability, quality of childcare provider as well.
In some cases preschool is a valuable place for children to learn skills they would otherwise not have and they also provide excellent support for parents in the beginning of a child's education.

Although both mine went to preschool, it wasn't until they were 3 and they just did 3 mornings and I didn't use my full funded hours. They went for the socialisation and for the preparation by childcare professionals for Reception (getting used to that sort of setting, working in groups, how to behave as part of a class etc etc). Not totally necessary but probably of great value to my children's little lives at the time. So probably YABU.

I chose not to send my DC to nursery. I've no regrets so no, I don't think it at all necessary. Sending children to nursery may be the norm now but hasn't always been.

Mine has gained so much from nursery. We’ve kept her in during my maternity leave as she’d be so sad to miss out and me stuck with me and the baby instead of having fun with her friends. I’m quite engaged and do lots of reading, crafts, groups etc when I have her but I could never give her the stimulation that nursery does all day every day. I don’t think many parents can recreate it at home.

You might be desperate for a few hours of silence by the time dc is 3yo

Mine never went. 🤷 I know lots of people who don't unless they have to, not just home edders, it's purely optional.

My youngest may go two short days per week from September if I start part time work.

I think kids are all different - a friend has a daughter who is v sociable and outgoing and has loved nursery since age 1 bar minor settling issues at the start
Mine on the other hand was definitely not up for anything other than being home with one of us, wasn't even really into low-key playgroups etc, til he was 3. It was like a switch going - we took him to preschool fully expecting settling to take an age, and he was off immediately with his keyworker playing with magnets. Has never looked back, after 2 weeks there he started running off in the park away from us to make friends. Go with what she needs, esp if you can be home and don't mind it I reckon.

Personally I wouldn’t even consider not sending them as it’s so beneficial to them. They won’t make proper friendships/
Relationships at a couple of stay and play sessions a week and when they’re 4 they won’t want to that stuff anyway.

My eldest is starting school now and you can really see the difference- it’s quite unusual now not to send your children to preschool but you can see the difference in the ones who only do a couple of hours a day too- I was so surprised to see one child clinging onto her mum for the half day settle crying her eyes out and not wanting her to leave- it seemed so babyish at 4. I chatted to her mother afterwards and she hadn’t been to preschool much.

Socialisation I'm not so bothered about, I think that's easy enough to recreate. But not shouting out, taking turns, listening to instructions, sitting on the carpet etc I think are a bit harder to do at home.