To think that nursery/pre school isn’t always necessary ?

[progestermoan]

If one parent is at home and you go to a group or two/the park/do activities at home/play dates ?

Does it really matter if a child isn’t using their 3 y o funding or attending at a younger age?
My ds is only 18 months and I’m getting questions when will he go ? Why is t his name down ? I am lucky enough to be at home and don’t see that it’s necessary it’s personal choice after all?
We are considering home education for him when he’s older though maybe this is why I’m leaning towards this approach but I’m fed up of people asking me !

Mostly it's necessary for mums I think!

Not compulsory. I’ve unfortunately had to have my child in nursery for more hours then I’d like and from a younger age than I’d have liked in order to pay the bills.

However, reflecting on it now, if I’d not been in that position, knowing what I know now, is still have sent her (just later and less). I think it’s been really great for preparing her for a school like environment, it’s not going to be dissimilar for her at all. I have also noticed that she can behave differently at home and nursery, so really glad she’s had a chance to explore that side and maybe develop some sides away from me.

I think there's a difference between 'necessary' and 'advantageous'.
When DS was 18mo I would probably have thought similar to you - I felt I was more than capable of providing all the stimulation, social and learning experiences that he needed.
Now he's turned 3 he's frankly incredibly hard work and my mental health is suffering from being with him 24/7 - we BOTH need him to start pre-school and he is absolutely ready for it and excited about going.

I think it’s too much of an adjustment to go from being home all day to a full time school year. Plus I know it’s hard to see now when he’s only 18 mos, but there does come a point when they get almost bored with your company and love meeting other children.

I also think if you’re considering home education that pre school is almost a ‘must’. If your ds thrives in a formal setting and in the company of other children ( as mine did), it may well be a factor in making your decision about schooling.

It isn't necessary but it is a positive thing for them, on the whole.

There is a HUGE different between an 18month old and a 3 yr old, so you might look at it differently then - one reason being that there won't be many of her peers at Stay and Plays when all the other 3-4 yr olds are at Nursery.

Actually it is necessary for some kids for various reasons to do with their home backgrounds or health / disability issues.

For others it’s mostly beneficial. Going to groups with a parent is great but not the same as nursery.

It's not necessary. But there are benefits. To the child and parents.

We have funding here from 2YO for 15 hours. I sent eldest DS from 2 because I had a newborn at the time and was grateful for some 1-2-1 time with his brother. I also sent youngest DS from 2. He's a shy child and being with others outside the home has been good for his confidence. I was also grateful to have 2.5 hours to myself.

Trilbydoll DD starts nursery in Sept. She will be 3.5. I will have baby DS at home but will have 3 hours a day where no-one will ask me 'why?' 100 times an hour.

OP you have plenty of time to decide and I understand your frustration at feeling pressured there is only one option. We are entitled to 30 hours funding but don't need it (I'm on maternity) so have decided to go with 15 hours and wait until she is 3.5 to start (to get our preferred school nursery). No-one seems to understand why we didn't take 30 hours.

If you plan to home school I can see the sense in not sending him. If he is going to school I think it is good prep. I feel DD is definitely ready now for proper friends that she sees every day and will benefit from time without me. I will also benefit from the break.

Another thing to consider is there often aren't many 3+ children at groups due to them being at nursery. You might want to consider home school groups etc for socialisation.

It's hard tbh. I think if you are planning on your child starting school at 4 then in may be beneficial as they need time and practice behaving in the way that school will expect. If they started school earlier, they're more able to understand and rationalise instructions, control themselves etc. Our middle child started school at 6.5 and had no issues settling, listening, doing as asked etc. He may well have done at 4 as they're not quite as in control of themselves...if that makes sense.

Of course, if pre school is there to get kids ready for school, then what gets them ready for pre school? And so on and so on. One could argue that reception class should be all about learning these skills anyway, so learning them in advance shouldn't be necessary.

FFS, if they started school later not earlier, they'd be better able to understand instructions etc.

It just seems to be everyone keeps asking me ! He does feel very little still to me maybe that’s another factor why I feel like it won’t be necessary but again, like others have said perhaps in another 18 months I might want a few hours off......
I think I’ll just see how things go and not be to rigid with any plans

Preschool is useful to prepare for school and I would seriously consider it for a child over 2.5 years.

If additional needs are suspected then I would say it is necessary, as the observations/paperwork from a setting can help to make sure the right support is in place before school.

If you need to work and don't want to educate and socialise your children then outsourcing parenting for the time you are working is fine for the kids.

This is an example of a comment that is trying to be pleasant on the face of it but actually quite snidey.

I actually think that pre school is great for reading, writing, phonics, Forest school, tolerance, listening, sociability, giving a warm up to day structure of school. Loads of things.

My son is a similar age to the OP's and I've quit my job to stay home with him as I don't feel he is ready for nursery at the moment, and he is better off here at home with me. That said, when he turns three I will gladly use the free hours to send him. At three he should have a natural interest in socialiaing which an 18 month old does not, and I can send him knowing it will be of great benefit to him.

I don’t think it’s necessary for an 18 month old. Under 2, nursery is childcare. Between the age of 2 and 3 it becomes more and more beneficial, I think.

My 4yo DS1 starts school in September and I’d feel a lot less confident if he hadn’t been to nursery and preschool already. He’s learnt social skills, waiting your turn, waiting in a lunch queue, putting your hand up in a group, negotiating school lunches, as well as developing skills through forest school and doing more structured things, which I can’t recreate at home especially since he also has a baby DS2 who is demanding in a completely different way. Most toddler groups/stay and plays are aimed at younger children. For this reason, it can be tricky to entertain them the last year before they go to school if they’re home all of the time.

That being said @Passthecherrycoke I’m surprised that you’ve only see one 4 year old cry at preschool. They are only 4 ffs. DS1 cries every morning at drop off and he’s been at nursery for 2 years!

Wait and see OP, you’ll probably find by the age of 3 you can’t wait for the 15 hours!

I'm at home, we do classes and all that. He goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and has grown hugely in the time he's been going. He's 2.7. And I get six hours a week to think without a running commentary on every aspect of every thing that has ever happened /is happening /will happen/ might happen. At 18m I couldn't have imagined sending him, had no need etc. At 2 and a bit when he actually started going, we were both ready.

Personally, I think they gain the most benefit from going when they are 3+.

They are ready to make proper friendships, learn to separate from their parents before starting school, and can access a wider range of activities than when they are younger (ie more trips out to places).

All children of all ages like the extra range of toys and activities that nursery offers but I think 3+ is when it is most enjoyable for the children.

18 months is tiny. In three children no-one bar my parents has ever asked if any of them will be at preschool etc.

Of course it isn't necessary. If you're lucky enough to be able to stay at home then it just comes down to personal preference. My dd went to nursery at 3 and my ds will start at 2, imo it's great for their social development and independence and it prepares them for school. Not everyone will agree with that of course and that's fine, your child your choice

Necessary is different from beneficial. And 18 months is very different from 3. To people saying children didn’t used to commonly go to nursery - preschool / school nursery from 3 (e.g. morning or afternoon sessions in termtime) was definitely the norm when I went in the 80s, for SAHP as well as those who went back to work.

Best thing I did for 3yo DS!

When he turned 2 and i kept receiving letters about the 15 hours, so I got him into a private nursery up the road just to socialise mainly, then at 3 I got him into nursery at our school 2 minutes round the corner as this will be his primary school and my goodness what a difference in him!!

I worried about him settling in and I will never forget picking him up at the end of his first day skipping out in his little uniform, waving to all his new friends...he actually had that much fun he cried as he wanted to stay 😂 ( and also cried for 3 weeks because he loved his uniform that much he never wanted to take it off)

He has absolutely thrived since being there, his birthday is right at the beginning of August and is one of the youngest in his class, but he's hit and is hitting everything. He has really really bonded and made great little friends and he just enjoys it so much

It has without a doubt prepared him for starting reception in september.

It's quite a scary thought thinking about it all when you start deciding if you should and I don't judge anyone who chooses to or not to.

It was the best decision for us and I think personally for me and DS we timed it right :)

Theres no right or wrong and you don't have to rush into making a decision ( although give it till about 3 and you'll more than likely be wanting to )

“That being said @Passthecherrycoke I’m surprised that you’ve only see one 4 year old cry at preschool. They are only 4 ffs. DS1 cries every morning at drop off and he’s been at nursery for 2 years!”

I didn’t say preschool, I said school. School settling in days. Ie they are 4 and starting school in September.

The thing is by 3 most good nurseries start prepping kids for Reception, teaching them phonics / maths etc. So if your child starts at 3 then he or she is already behind and probably will remain behave until Y2 or 3 at least. Starting by 2 is probably a bit safer from that perspective.

"That being said @Passthecherrycoke I’m surprised that you’ve only see one 4 year old cry at preschool. They are only 4 ffs. DS1 cries every morning at drop off and he’s been at nursery for 2 years"

All children are different aren't they, some have no problem running off and some it just takes a little time

A lot of children starting nursery when my DS did were sobbing their little hearts out and did for weeks, some a month or so, and some occasionally do now, but the difference in seeing them now at drop off.

The other day parents could go in for an hour and meet their children in what's going to be their new reception class and when it was time for us to go wait at the gates there were a few tears.

Everyone reacts differently to different situations and as has been said,they're only 3/4.

The thing is by 3 most good nurseries start prepping kids for Reception, teaching them phonics / maths etc. So if your child starts at 3 then he or she is already behind and probably will remain behave until Y2 or 3 at least. Starting by 2 is probably a bit safer from that perspective

See this is utterly bonkers to my mind. Being behind by starting at fucking 3 years old. School starts too young at 4, let's not make it the norm for this to be pushed earlier and earlier. There is no evidence that learning to read etc earlier has any positive impact on overall outcomes.