Who's being U - sleeping arrangements

[rickandmorts]

Going away for 3 nights to European city next month with my brother and partner. At the time of booking my best friend said she might come (due to finances) so I booked an air bnb that had enough room for us all in case. Because we left it quite last min there wasn't a huge amount of choice so I booked a house with 2 double bedrooms and an open plan living room with a massive sofa that someone could sleep on.

So best friend is coming now which is great, just trying to arrange sleeping. DB has a disability so can't really sleep on the sofa and needs a bed, so he has one room. I've said to DP that me and friend will share the other bedroom and he can have the sofa. Mainly because if I was friend I wouldn't want two men potentially walking through where I'm sleeping. DP said he wants to sleep with me as I'm his girlfriend and we're going on holiday together. I've said we sleep together every other night of the year and 3 nights won't kill him. Who IBU? (Btw we've been away loads together so not like our 'first' holiday, I think he's being a bit silly)

YABU. Your friend gets last choice of bedroom as she dithered about coming surely? Presumably your db or dp won't actually be going to stare at her while she's alseep? Sexist nonsense.

If I was the friend I’d be assuming I was on the sofa rather than a couple sleeping apart

I think your friend should take the sofa. She only confirmed last minute. And they’re not exactly strangers walking by are they? Also I wouldn’t want to share a bed with a friend, I’d rather be on my own on the sofa.

I would agree with your DP, it makes sense for your friend to sleep on the sofa. Is she contributing to the cost of the apartment ?

Is it a sofa-bed or sofa, if it’s just a regular sofa, then it’s not suitable for anyone to sleep on.

Your friend gets the sofa OP

Has your friend expressed a preference? If I were her I’d rather sleep on the sofa, because I confirmed last and because I’d feel weird making someone sleep on the sofa while I shared a bed with his wife.

I think it would be weird for anyone but your friend to get the sofa.

Okay I'm being U . Yes friend is contributing!

Have you asked your friend if she wants to share with you?

I see your point about men walking round but she also booked last.

yabu, obviously your friend should have the sofa.

And I checked with the host, the double is two singles pushed together so could split. I think my past experiences have totally skewed my perception then because I would really hate to not have my own room and would feel vulnerable sleeping out there but accept my friend isn't me. I'm going to see her tomorrow anyway and haven't mentioned sleeping arrangements to her so shall bring it up and see what she says. If she's fine with the sofa then great.

YABU - your pal should be sleeping on the couch. She did dither a little about coming and most couples would naturally share a bed in this situation I reckon. She might prefer the couch tbh rather than inconveniencing your partner.

YouABU.
Obviously you'd expect a couple to share, and then also add to that it was your friend that didn't know until the last minute she'd be coming, so obviously would get the last pick of sleeping space choice.

I suspect your friend would be very uncomfortable with the idea of your dp sleeping on the sofa so she can share a bed with you - I would be, anyway.

And also me and friend have grown up together, been on holiday, travelling, crashed in beds together after nights out so sleeping in the same bed (if it couldn't be split) wouldn't bother us. But maybe now we're older it's considered odd and we need to shift the boundaries. Food for thought!

Get away @BackforGood we're practically sisters she wouldn't find it odd! At her old flat we would share a bed and her DP would crash on the sofa if he was working til late so as not to disturb anyone. But accept I'm being U about this situation!

I'd rather be on a sofa, even with men around, than have to share a bed.

Sorry 'very uncomfortable' not odd* which is worse

Surely this should have been discussed before you booked anything? I bet she was t certain about being able to
Afford it, it that didn’t preclude you from asking that if she did come would she be ok with a sofa

I understand your DO’s POV , your suggestion is odd - why should he sleep in the longs with everyone coming through it rather than her? And of course he’d rather sleep with his gf...

I hate sharing a room these days so I’d FAR rather have the sofa thank you, but I wouldn’t expect to be paying a full share either if I don’t have my own room like you all do.

It really should have been sorted out before booking

Does she know she's potentially not got her own bedroom?
I would hate that, personally.
I get that you and she have mucked in on previous trips but going with 2 other couples is a different holiday entirely to a pals holiday.
I wouldn't go, if I was the friend.

So there are 4 of you and 4 sleeping spaces. Brother and partner share the room with two singles and you and friend take the double.

No-one on the sofa then!

YABVU. Why should your partner have to make the sacrifice?
She's single, she chose to come as a single person. Your partner chose to holiday with you.

Trinity has the best plan. Your DP and brother share the twin room in single beds. You and your friend share the other bed. Nobody has to have an uncomfortable night on the sofa.

Ok if she is your best mate and she has grown up with you then she must have known your DB a long enough to be reasonably comfortable around him, and presumably she feels comfortable enough around DP to be going away with you I cant see how her having the sofa would be a problem.

Sorry I didn't read the thread... fair enough OP!

Does your friend know she will be sleeping on the sofa?

She did let you know last minute, so fair enough she gets the sofa, but if she is contributing, I would charge her slightly less as she doesn't get to have the luxury of her own room. (maybe that would be a fair compromise)