Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Who's being U - sleeping arrangements

95 replies

rickandmorts · 13/07/2019 15:12

Going away for 3 nights to European city next month with my brother and partner. At the time of booking my best friend said she might come (due to finances) so I booked an air bnb that had enough room for us all in case. Because we left it quite last min there wasn't a huge amount of choice so I booked a house with 2 double bedrooms and an open plan living room with a massive sofa that someone could sleep on.

So best friend is coming now which is great, just trying to arrange sleeping. DB has a disability so can't really sleep on the sofa and needs a bed, so he has one room. I've said to DP that me and friend will share the other bedroom and he can have the sofa. Mainly because if I was friend I wouldn't want two men potentially walking through where I'm sleeping. DP said he wants to sleep with me as I'm his girlfriend and we're going on holiday together. I've said we sleep together every other night of the year and 3 nights won't kill him. Who IBU? (Btw we've been away loads together so not like our 'first' holiday, I think he's being a bit silly)

OP posts:

Original poster

rickandmorts · 14/07/2019 08:49

Why does she need to feel vulnerable around your partner and brother? Do you not trust them?

And the award for spectacularly missing the point goes to ^^

OP posts:

Rezie · 14/07/2019 09:11

I actually appreciate the offer of having her in the room and partner on the couch. If I was the friend of assume I'd sleep on the couch, but traveling with one couple can be awkward and this sleeping arraingement would turn it into more of a friend trip instead of couple and two other people.
I'm not sure anyone is particularly unreasonable.

If I was the friend of either sleep on the sofa or with the brother and let the couple sleep together. But I'd appreciate the offer. I also understand that partner wants to sleep with you.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/07/2019 11:43

All point out to DP how exciting it'll be after a few days of abstinence 😊😂

BlueSkiesLies · 14/07/2019 11:50

Friend has sofa and she wears PJs and your DB and DP aren’t exactly random men!

Rachelover40 · 15/07/2019 03:50

You need to find out what your friend thinks about her sleeping arrangements, op. Ask her as soon as possible.

StoppinBy · 15/07/2019 04:27

Friend goes on the spare bed as they are an extra, you booked with the idea that she may not come but that she had somewhere to sleep if she did come.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 15/07/2019 05:05

If it were your DP's best friend coming on holiday with you, and he told you that he would be sharing with him and you were to go on the sofa, how would YOU feel?

Etino · 15/07/2019 09:04

Did you talk to her OP? If the sofa bed is substantial and comfy the best scenario is that your dbro sleeps there.

IncrediblySadToo · 15/07/2019 09:13

Did you talk to her OP? If the sofa bed is substantial and comfy the best scenario is that your dbro sleeps there.

Op has already said her DB is disabled and needs the bed/bedroom and her friend was the last one to confirm she was going so I really don’t see why you’d think that her DB should sleep on the sofa?!

As much as I feel for whatever her friend went through, it’s now up to her to make sure she has sleeping arrangements that she’s happy with & that might mean confirming earlier or paying towards accommodation she ends up not being able to use

But anyway, the friend might be fine with the sofa, this is just the OP thinking she might not be (kind but possibly totally unfounded). I’m sure the OP will let us know how her chat with her friend went yesterday.

SavingSpaces2019 · 15/07/2019 15:36

If it were your DP's best friend coming on holiday with you, and he told you that he would be sharing with him and you were to go on the sofa, how would YOU feel?
Pissed off and shortchanged i bet!

Original poster

rickandmorts · 15/07/2019 20:27

* If it were your DP's best friend coming on holiday with you, and he told you that he would be sharing with him and you were to go on the sofa, how would YOU feel?*

Relieved that I'd get a night's sleep on my own 🤣. I stayed at BF's last night and it was HEAVEN in the spare room without DP. Anyway spoke to her, much ado about nothing. She says she's cool with the sofa but if there's massive privacy issues we'll rethink. But mainly just can't wait to go and neither can I!!

OP posts:

Etino · 15/07/2019 21:11

Brilliant outcome. You’re a lovely friend. Have a wonderful time!

Original poster

rickandmorts · 15/07/2019 21:49

Thanks @Etino

OP posts:

Rachelover40 · 16/07/2019 01:47

I'm glad it's all sorted and hope you really enjoy yourselves!

hadthesnip2 · 16/07/2019 02:22

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned the fact that as the beds in one room can be split as singles that the best friend & the brother share that room. Or cant 2 people of opposite sex share a room without the thought that one was sexually going to assault the other. Yes I reslysd that one (female) has a history of a sexual assault......but then the other (male) is disabled & by all accounts will be wanting his bed to lie in.

Walks away whistling......

1300cakes · 16/07/2019 03:19

Rtft hadthesnip2 about 25 people have mentioned that.

1300cakes · 16/07/2019 03:22

Oh wait I misunderstood. No they haven't but it's for good reason I think.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/07/2019 03:30

No, you were right they have.

RhiWrites · 16/07/2019 05:52

I’m still stuck on why anyone would book a place which isn’t suitable for the number of people coming.

Original poster

rickandmorts · 16/07/2019 08:47

@RhiWrites not much availability for the weekend we needed and was unsure if friend was coming. Anyway it's sorted now and there is plenty of room for everyone, might even invite another friend

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.