Who's being U - sleeping arrangements

[rickandmorts]

Going away for 3 nights to European city next month with my brother and partner. At the time of booking my best friend said she might come (due to finances) so I booked an air bnb that had enough room for us all in case. Because we left it quite last min there wasn't a huge amount of choice so I booked a house with 2 double bedrooms and an open plan living room with a massive sofa that someone could sleep on.

So best friend is coming now which is great, just trying to arrange sleeping. DB has a disability so can't really sleep on the sofa and needs a bed, so he has one room. I've said to DP that me and friend will share the other bedroom and he can have the sofa. Mainly because if I was friend I wouldn't want two men potentially walking through where I'm sleeping. DP said he wants to sleep with me as I'm his girlfriend and we're going on holiday together. I've said we sleep together every other night of the year and 3 nights won't kill him. Who IBU? (Btw we've been away loads together so not like our 'first' holiday, I think he's being a bit silly)

I think the suggestion is very thoughtful towards your friend. Great idea to ask her what she thinks.

I’m in the two men share, friend shares with you camp, OP. That way everyone gets a bed.

the brother might be more uncomfortable to share a bedroom than the friend left to sleep in peace on the sofa!

I hate sharing rooms.

Okay this a massive dripfeed but she has also been abused when she was younger so I was just trying to be thoughtful and not put her in an uncomfortable position. DP doesn't know.

And for those saying she booked last min so has to take the sofa... I didn't give her a timeframe on when she had to ok to come! I knew she had a lot going on so just said the invite is open. I wouldn't have minded if she'd told me the week before! And when I was booking it I sent a link to the house so she could see it. Didn't discuss specific sleeping arrangements. I will broach the subject with her tomorrow and she what she says. Thanks for those who have replied and not implied that I'm weird or odd 🤣

And yes @sweeneytoddsrazor she's met my bro loads but still at the end of the day he's not her brother is he so didn't know if she'd feel uncomfortable on the sofa.

Hmmm even with drip feed YABU still I think

It’s his holiday too and even if that has happened it doesn’t mean she will be uncomfortable with it

If four people were coming I would've booked somewhere where 4 people could sleep in a bedroom, unless you're all really young and sofa sleeping is still the norm

Well exactly @Horsemenoftheaclopalypse I shouldn't have presumed should I

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan me, DP and BF are 'young' (wouldn't class us as really young 🤣) and yes sofa crashing is still the norm. Dbro not so much (although he does have the lifestyle of someone 15 years younger)

Hows about friend shares with your DP and you take the sofa?
(Runs and hides)

I dont think the drip feed changes anything

I agree with everyone else unless your partner is prepared to share with your brother then she takes the sofa

If I was your friend, I’d feel weird about splitting a couple up from sleeping in the same bed and insist on the sofa. I’ve read your last update, it’s a tricky situation. I’d put the sofa option to her and gage her reaction

Another idea is that you, DP and friend share one room, you sleep in the middle to keep the peace.

Or Dbro @Rachelover40 and in a few years time is my SIL

Speak to your friend about. Also try and remember that it is your DP's holiday too, he isn't there to make up the numbers.

Yes good point @Hopoindown31. Also can I clarify the issue isn't with him sleeping on the sofa, he's just got back from a weekend away where he had to share a bed in a hostel with one of his sweaty mates because someone got the booking wrong. It's just the fact he wants to be with me. Which is nice I guess

If I wanted to do this to put a female friend at ease my partner wouldn't mind at all, would accept my judgement and wouldn't bat an eyelid. It's fine OP, if that's the way you want to do it, then he should be able to accept it. Surely you sleep together every night anyway?

It might work if DP will share with DB, they have one room and you share with your friend, depending that they’re ok with that of course.

Where is the bathroom? Could it be agreed that from the time you all go to bed until a certain time in the morning the living room is treated like a bedroom so nobody wanders through it, or does that not work with the layout?

I'm single and I would expect to get the sofa bed in this example.
I don't think couples have an automatic right to their own bedroom on a group holiday, but in this case it would seem the most logical, particularly as the friend dithered.

The friend should be on the sofa. She joined the holiday last!

@ohcanada you've surmised my point beautifully but I started to question everything after the responses!

You’ve said your brother is disabled, but would he be able to sleep on camp bed or one of those blow up beds? Is he able to get on/off the floor? If he can, then can you put a mattress in the sitting room? Can you turn the sofa around and move it so that your friend has more privacy?

Is it actually a sofa bed or just a sofa?

"It might work if DP will share with DB, they have one room and you share with your friend, depending that they’re ok with that of course."

It's silly, but it seems to be socially acceptable for two women to share a bed, but not two men who are not sexually involved. As the flat seems to have two double rooms rather than twin rooms, I don't see the brothers in law being happy to share.