To think if you don't drive then you use public transport?

[Ofjoseph]

I don't mind giving non driving colleagues and friends a lift every now and again. They don't usually ask but I'm happy to offer. I joined a meet up type group a year or so ago and I'm meeting them tomorrow night. I've somehow become the driver for 3 people so now my night is picking up person A from busy traffic filled area (it means taking a completely different road to get to venue which is busier and will add 25 minutes or more and means I have to navigate completely horrific roadworks which I hate as I struggle to understand the roundabout now it's so coned off). Then pick up people B&C. On way home I'm now going to have to drop A, B and C. This means over 3 hours driving round trip when it should have been less than 2. I won't enjoy the event as much and I'm pissed off. I don't mind picking up B & C as they're only a few miles out of the venue's way and they're in a quieter area. Person A always seems to think meeting up should fit around her non driving and it's annoying me now. Aibu? She could quite easily get public transport. She lives in a busy area which has plenty. It would take her about half an hour to get there. It will take me about an hour and a half.

Tell her!

I can't drive and live semi rurally.

I use public transport, taxis or walk. Drivers often find it odd that I'm happy to walk (I love walking) and try to insist that I have a lift!

Find your voice and backbone. "Sorry, Alicia, it's a pain in the arse collecting you as well. I can manage the others as they are closer but picking you up doubles my travel time. You'll need to sort yourself next week."

Just tell her... By text.
Sorry you will need to make your own way and return journey for event ...
See you there

I don't understand why you didn't say no to person A.

Where you've gone wrong is agreeing to pick her up. Saying "sorry A but it's too far out of my way as it will take me an extra hour of driving" is what you should've done. The trouble with non drivers ime is they only see the journey from their POV so instead of it taking 30 minutes and walking and busses it only takes 15 mins, they seem to forget someone else has to add time to their journey to make that possible.

I've somehow become the driver for 3 people so now my night is picking up person A from busy traffic filled area

Yes, but how exactly did this “somehow” happen?

Just get her telt.

Or you tell them they have to be at your house ready for a lift

I don't drive and I either get a bus or taxi. If someone offers a lift then fine, but I wouldn't ask. Just tell these people you can't do it or you will end up doing it forever

You need to start saying no. People who don't drive should stick to local groups.

YABU because you could have said no

It happened as she messages me directly on the group instead of a personal message. She knows I'd then look a dick if I said no 'in front' of the others.

Why would you look a dick in front of the others? If you are polite and factual you will just look like a reasonable person who is assertive enough not to be a doormat. Do it!

I would just tell a whole string of lies such as “hey guys this week I’m actually travelling from (enter different destination) and I’m unsure if I’ll even make it to group so please just go ahead and get there without me.”
“Then next week I would say that you have something else on or you are giving x ppl a lift somewhere so you have no space so again sorry but make your own way”

Then take yourself of the group messages and conveniently forget to collect them the following week

😂😂😂🙈

i gave up driving for personal reasons years ago, and use public transport or walk, i'ma lot fitter as a result, but i wouldn't dream of expecting a lift from anyone just because they are going my way. i prefer to do my own thing.
in your case i'd rather look like a dick than give into a cf.

Or just say “hey, guys I’m sorry I can’t pick you up any more as I have other commitments before and after group!” You don’t need to delve into it!

I drive but for various reasons I didn't have a car between early 2016 and March this year. I didn't get a lift from anyone once in that time - I took the train, bus, uber, or I walked. It wouldn't even occur to me to impose on someone like that.

Tell her to piss off. I have no time for CFs.

If you're afraid of saying no to her in the group chat then you only have yourself to blame and can't really complain. By not saying no, then she will always ask for a lift.

You only have to say no once and give her the reason why and then it's unlikely she will ask for a lift again.

I don’t drive and I take public transport everywhere. I’d never impose myself on someone else like that. Or want to have to rely on them and have my arrangements dictated by someone else.

You only have yourself to blame, tbh. Yes, she's a c.f. but there's absolutely nothing to stop you from saying no can do.

Find your voice and backbone. "Sorry, Alicia, it's a pain in the arse collecting you as well. I can manage the others as they are closer but picking you up doubles my travel time. You'll need to sort yourself next week."

Say this.

Why would you look like a dick? If she expects you to be her personal taxi service she’s the dick. Stop worrying about being so accommodating.

So don’t do it then.

Would the admin of the group be open to a lift share page where people can volunteer?

Just tell her! If she doesn’t want to drive then it’s on her to find her way to & from places.

If you don’t enjoy the event any more why not just leave and find another pursuit