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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to feel uncomfortable (mixed sex accommodation)

193 replies

Chochito · 11/07/2019 22:37

I'm on a work project for a month with 9 colleagues from different parts of the company. I knew one of them before as I worked with him on a 6 week project last year. I don't know any of the others.

We are all staying in university halls of residence style accommodation. The building is usually only occupied by men but as we have it for private use we have the women staying on the 1st floor rooms and the men staying ion the ground floor. There are 3 women and 8 men on the project.

Some of our clients are also here and staying in the same accommodation. There are 3 women and 4 men. The female clients are staying on the 1st floor and the male clients on the ground floor.

The clients have en suite rooms, but 9 out of the 11 workers share communal bathrooms (shower cubicles, toilet cubicles). There is also a communal kitchen, on the ground floor, which can be accessed by the corridor with the men's bedrooms or by another door from the outside of the building.

Everyone has access to all parts of the building apart from people's bedrooms and there are no doors apart from to bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen.

2 of my colleagues are married (man and woman) and have been given an en-suite room on the first floor.

Is this odd or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
thetimekeeper · 11/07/2019 22:39

Odd how?

Wagonwheelsandjammydodgers · 11/07/2019 22:40

So men are on one floor, women are on the other (other than the married couple)....
Are there bathrooms on each floor? If so then I think it's fine.

MrsJamin · 11/07/2019 22:40

I don't get what your concern is?

Devondoggydaycare · 11/07/2019 22:40

I'm surprised they are even segregating adults on different floors. Why are you so concerned?

user1471449295 · 11/07/2019 22:41

I would expect to be able to share a room with my husband

Treaclesweet · 11/07/2019 22:42

What is strange about it? Where else would you like there to be doors...?

Justbreathing · 11/07/2019 22:42

Yes you are massively overacting

BillywilliamV · 11/07/2019 22:43

Do you demand single sex accommodation in hotels? Not all men are rabid rapists, most of them need their jobs and wages for a start!

Grobagsforever · 11/07/2019 22:43

Communal bathrooms meaning several showers in one room? That's awful in a work scenario. But assuming you mean a single shower with a lock it's fine

Justbreathing · 11/07/2019 22:43

What do you think people do in hotels! I mean they might be next to a man!! Shock

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 11/07/2019 22:44

Can you clarify what is worrying you about the scenario? Because I honestly don't understand. Everything you describe seems utterly unremarkable.

ConfCall · 11/07/2019 22:44

Sounds ok to me

EllenEyewater · 11/07/2019 22:45

I’m not seeing the issue here. If the couple have an en suite, why would the man be using the communal bathroom anyway?

999caffeineplease · 11/07/2019 22:45

Massive overreaction

Littlechocola · 11/07/2019 22:45

I think you are overreacting

kmc1111 · 11/07/2019 22:46

As someone else said, I’m just surprised they separated the sexes onto different floors.

JocastaJones · 11/07/2019 22:47

I think ensuite accommodation should be the absolute minimum for a work trip.

Aridane · 11/07/2019 22:47

Don't understand the problem

stucknoue · 11/07/2019 22:49

What's the issue? - hotels used to have shared bathrooms (occasionally they still do!) I'm sure the toilet has a lock. You aren't sharing a bedroom and they (despite you being adults) segregated by sex as much as possible. If what you are really saying is you should have en-suite accommodation take it up with your bosses but honestly when I was a kid you shared a bathroom with complete strangers in hotels

MyDcAreMarvel · 11/07/2019 22:49

How is it odd?

Cleanmywindows · 11/07/2019 22:49

What is odd about it in your view?

Chochito · 11/07/2019 22:50

In most hotels I would not have to share a communal bathroom and if I did I would not expect to share it with men.

I also think it's odd that they have separated the sexes onto different floors except for one man who is on the "women's floor" because his wife is here.

OP posts:
TarragonSauce · 11/07/2019 22:50

Do you have control over who enters your sleeping space and can you ensure your privacy whilst showering, using the toilet and dressing. If so, you are over reacting.
This seems no different than staying in a continental city hotel on a bed and breakfast basis, where you would be expected to use a communal breakfast room and serve yourself, even making your own pancakes etc.

Chochito · 11/07/2019 22:51

TarragonSauce

No privacy whilst showering; it's like a gym / swimming pool set up (communal shower, anyone can enter). Toilet has cubicles.

Private bedroom (not en suite).

OP posts:
Chochito · 11/07/2019 22:53

stucknoue I don't want en suite, I just find it weird that I have to share the showers and toilets with men, who are my colleagues, especially after they have gone to the trouble of separating our bedrooms onto different floors.

OP posts: