to feel uncomfortable (mixed sex accommodation)

[Chochito]

I'm on a work project for a month with 9 colleagues from different parts of the company. I knew one of them before as I worked with him on a 6 week project last year. I don't know any of the others.

We are all staying in university halls of residence style accommodation. The building is usually only occupied by men but as we have it for private use we have the women staying on the 1st floor rooms and the men staying ion the ground floor. There are 3 women and 8 men on the project.

Some of our clients are also here and staying in the same accommodation. There are 3 women and 4 men. The female clients are staying on the 1st floor and the male clients on the ground floor.

The clients have en suite rooms, but 9 out of the 11 workers share communal bathrooms (shower cubicles, toilet cubicles). There is also a communal kitchen, on the ground floor, which can be accessed by the corridor with the men's bedrooms or by another door from the outside of the building.

Everyone has access to all parts of the building apart from people's bedrooms and there are no doors apart from to bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen.

2 of my colleagues are married (man and woman) and have been given an en-suite room on the first floor.

Is this odd or am I overreacting?

You should have explained in your OP that it is one row of open showers and everyone can see other people's tits and dicks. Your explanation of 'showers like at a gym' made no sense to me because I've never used gym showers and I suspect many gyms allow people to keep their dignity.

I would go home of I was expected to shower naked in front of work colleagues - even same sex.

Those are like prison showers, although I've never been to prison either.

Just wait to use the bathroom individually. Surely there is a lock?

I wouldn't care all that much, but I appreciate a lot of adults don't like this level of communal showering, even in a same-sex situation. It's pretty unusual to have open-plan showers on a business trip. (I'm used to them at folk festivals but they are not actually that common these days, even when you're camping in the grounds of some rugby club.)

And I think the fact that it's potentially mixed sex is rather less the issue than the fact that professional colleagues are in a situation where they are expected to get naked in front of one another, which most people are not going to like, because we are not a country/society that likes group nudity very much.

lol You got 68% YABU because you didn't explain yourself clearly!

Is it In the UK ? Can you not lock the door to the whole room whilst you ar,e in the shower ? I hated communal showers at school, I'd not use them at work !

If there’s only one other woman then there must be at least one en suite spare that you could share the shower so at least then there’s a male and female space.

That’s ridiculous though. Your employer are actually leaving themselves wide open id something happens in that set up

YANBU at all!
On a different note, I really dislike your username.... Are you aware of what it means in Spanish and how it's used?

Omg you’re username! I just googled it

This is not acceptable at all. In fact, even if it were separate male/female communal showers it would still be completely unacceptable.

I’d be in touch with my manager explaining that they either rectify the situation (ie I get a private en-suite) or I’m out of there. If they didn’t re gift I would 100% leave and kick us a massive fuss. It’s not on.

FYI - I’ve done my fair share of world travel/backpacking, stayed in many a hostel, and that kind of set up wouldn’t have been acceptable to me then let alone now!

On a different note, I really dislike your username.... Are you aware of what it means in Spanish and how it's used?

Ahhh. Is this just goady fuckery in that case?

I honestly don't think I've seen showers like that being used for full showering since the 1980s. At university we had individual cubicles in communal bathrooms and every gym I have joined since.

The only place I've seen them is poolside when everyone is wearing swimming gear.

Actually, I’m confused. I’ve just been reading the “who doesn’t get presents for teachers” thread and you’ve posted that you’re a secondary school teacher. This seems a really weird setup for a teaching related course.

There are 6 females in my block and 2 showers but they are behind a lockable door.

Every gym I've been to - in 3 countries - has communal showers, including my current one
I've no problem showering naked with other women

• but I CHOOSE my gyms for other reasons The OP has no choice, because her employer chose for her Unacceptable

I’m wondering which schooltakes it’s teachers away to get naked with each other? Most schools can’t afford a twilight session let alone overnights for a month.
A teacher can take a month off with colleagues? Who’s teaching the children left back in school?

Men shower in the morning, women in the evening or vice versa?

That's still shit though but may be easier to tolerate

I wish there was an option to change votes! Sharing mixed sex facilities with separate cubicles is one thing, sharing communal space with no privacy is another. Do they seriously expect you to shower naked alongside male work colleagues?!

Flippin' eck, sounds awful! A few years ago a colleague and I were at a conference and due to booking late (employer wouldn't give us permission until VERY late on), the bathroom setup only accommodation that was available (at a VERY prestigious English university, at one of THE richest colleges, I might add) was not dissimilar - I took photos of it as I couldn't believe, in this day and age, it was still allowed; it was worse accommodation than I'd had as a student in the 1980s where at least we could lock the flippin' bathroom door.

And you're there for a month? Lordy. Not the answer, as it sounds like an affront to dignity apart from anything else (does your institution have a "dignity" statement or anything?) but for your own peace of mind temporarily, could you shower in a swimsuit maybe?? Or, I don't know, team up with some of the other female teachers and arrange shower times or something? You shouldn't have to, but if you're stuck there for a month, there aren't many other options - solar showers? Join a gym for a month and use their showers??

I think the OP is doing something like teaching a summer school in a boarding school and is in a boarding house that would usually be single sex.

If my guess is right, it might be worth seeing if there are other facilities on site like sports changing rooms that are single sex that you could use.

Honestly the couple, the mixed genders, the clients and everything else is irrelevant.

That shower situation is bizarre and unacceptable. It still would be even if you were all women!

Is there more to this OP? Because if I were forced to stay in a place with that sort of facility for work, I'd be looking for a new job.

Definitely NOT being unreasonable