to feel uncomfortable (mixed sex accommodation)

[Chochito]

I'm on a work project for a month with 9 colleagues from different parts of the company. I knew one of them before as I worked with him on a 6 week project last year. I don't know any of the others.

We are all staying in university halls of residence style accommodation. The building is usually only occupied by men but as we have it for private use we have the women staying on the 1st floor rooms and the men staying ion the ground floor. There are 3 women and 8 men on the project.

Some of our clients are also here and staying in the same accommodation. There are 3 women and 4 men. The female clients are staying on the 1st floor and the male clients on the ground floor.

The clients have en suite rooms, but 9 out of the 11 workers share communal bathrooms (shower cubicles, toilet cubicles). There is also a communal kitchen, on the ground floor, which can be accessed by the corridor with the men's bedrooms or by another door from the outside of the building.

Everyone has access to all parts of the building apart from people's bedrooms and there are no doors apart from to bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen.

2 of my colleagues are married (man and woman) and have been given an en-suite room on the first floor.

Is this odd or am I overreacting?

well there's enough women that a woman could "guard" the entrance to the washroom and have the men wait their turn.
as adults you could set up a rotation first half of the hour second half of the hour.
you know you could also refuse the accommodations and find your own.

Sounds fabulous

Like the Romans

Is Mark Anthony fit?

BTW : is there a lock on the communal shower door?

Or do you have a secret password?

If this is real, no, it's not acceptable. In fact, in the US it would be a violation of labour laws.

Or, I don't know, team up with some of the other female teachers and arrange shower times or something?

^
Hey, Julie meet me at 5 in the shower blocks

This just goes from bad to worse on here

I would absolutely set up a rota in these circumstances. If the men want to do their own thing, fair enough. For the women I would ask for a meeting and suggest we agree a rota for use of the showers between x time and y time in the morning and a time and b time in the evening. The showers and toilets won't be available during those times except for your alloted spot.

The entire arrangement is disgraceful.

JocastaJones Thu 11-Jul-19 22:47:01
I think ensuite accommodation should be the absolute minimum for a work trip.
.....

R-over40: I think so too, the op's company is doing it on the cheap. The bathrooms are unisex, the group will be there for a month and it really is not satisfactory.

Op, complain to your firm and decide not to go to anything like that again without ensuite. No doors in the showers! That's outrageous. Even same sex don't like getting naked communally, as they do after PE at some schools. They are not 'family' and it isn't very nice.

You could, perhaps, label one shower room as women only, just a thought.

It's a bit 'studenty' for grown up people.

If I was in the op's position AND if I was well off, I'd book myself into a local b&b for the duration. Or else I'd go home! Shouldn't have to do that though.

I hope some of the stay is, at least, not too bad, and that the op and others can endure it, even have some fun while they are there. It's amazing how you can cope if you have to. Not right though, it would make me depressed and I wouldn't last five minutes; deffo cheapskate of the company.

"An open shower, like at the gym". Every gym I have ever been a member of has had shower cubicles. There aren't ANY? Literally go home now and make a huge complaint. The risk of sexual assault/voyeurs is huge.

OP are you in the UK? I can't believe you are, there are rules about employee safety and rights that I can believe would possibly permit this in the UK.

One minute we are told that men and women are accommodated on different floors, the next that they are all forced to have communal showers. Things ramped up somewhat between the OP's posts.

Weird set up.

Presume there are showers on each floor. Man in the couple needs to only use the en-suite, his wife can be the one to use communal showers if she really can't wait.

Obviously totally unacceptable for anyone to have to shower next to each other. I'd discuss with other female colleagues and sort out a formal rota.

Are there empty floors you can go onto which have more showers?

wow

The set up doesn't bother me at all apart from the SHOWERS? That's insane. I don't shower in front of anyone, male or female. What kind of accommodation does not provide privacy and at least cubicles?

I don't care about the gender, I I would throw a massive fit if I hadn't got privacy - own bedroom and cubicle shower.

I can remember some friends in the military having that issue - separated men and women but communal showers per sex. I think some ended up showering with swim suit on because they couldn't just shower one at a time with someone blocking the door.

Are you somewhere abroad? The only place I have encountered these kinds of communal showers was in Eastern Europe. All of the gyms/ swimming pools I’ve ever been to still have showers with cubicles available.

It is very strange not to have any private showers and yet still expect them to be used by a mixed-sex group. I think I would be complaining to my company who’d arranged the accommodation - as you say it’s ridiculous to separate private bedrooms by sex but then to have one large conmunal shower.

Surely there are no men in the showers on your floor as the only man on your floor is the married one with the ensuite? There does need to be a sign in the door saying women only.

As a pp suggested, I'd get together with the lady who had the shower at lunchtime and guard the door for each other, so you can shower in peace and in private.

Posting for deletion message

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Can't believe they expect you to shower even in front of your female colleagues! Are you exaggerating to make everyone side with you now?

In your original post you said there was shower 'cubicles', now your saying they aren't it is just an open shower area.

If the original post is correct then I would say YABU as you could easily ask the married couple to ensure he uses the en suite and she uses the communal area.

If the later posts are correct and there are no shower cubicles then YANBU

YANBU. That is totally odd and unacceptable. I would be complaining to the company and refusing to stay there. I just can't imagine what type of place this is, even at youth hostels with shared facilities they have actual shower cubicles.

I don't stay in shared bathroom accommodation. It's totally unacceptable for a work trip.

If this is real YANBU but I really don't think it is as surely you'd have been clear about the shower situation in your OP

I said YABU but if it is a communal shower as pictured, YANBU. I am still not clear whether its both men and women using the same showers, or just women? Or just women and occasionally one married man.

Could you set up a rota so each person gets a 5 minute "slot" to quickly shower each morning, rather than everyone sharing? If anyone doesnt mind sharing they can share slots and have a 10 minute shower.

The sleeping arrangements are fine, but you shouldn't have to naked-shower in front of ANYONE, least of all your colleagues; sex irrelevant!

" I need my privacy and dignity."

That's enshrined in law, in the UK, accept exceptional circumstances, such as a Mental Health Facility and then the sexes aren't mixed.

Unless there was a lock on the communal shower room, i wouldn't be staying.

There are halls of residence with communal showers? No cubicles or anything? I wouldn't be happy with that.