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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are we going to be able to survive on this money?

255 replies

username6050 · 11/07/2019 11:51

£2,100 between us a month.

Rent is £900.
DP has to pay £400 maintenance.
£450 nursery charges a month.
Will have a 2 year old and a newborn.

It's all seeming impossible!

OP posts:
SkintAsASkintThing · 11/07/2019 13:20

No even. Hmm

nobreakfastforme · 11/07/2019 13:20

Why the nursery payment if there's someone at home looking after a newborn?

Missingstreetlife · 11/07/2019 13:21

Housing benefit, council tax reduction?

Scorpiovenus · 11/07/2019 13:21

BlueSkiesLies never thought of that, if I ever get in that situation I will remember this :D

mrssoap · 11/07/2019 13:21

Prettt sure you would get some help with universal credit. ESP with rent that high and childcare fees

TiredTiredandABitMoreTired · 11/07/2019 13:23

Billie, I'm confused at the hostility in your response.

What OP said about maintenance is exactly what posters always expect in threads about maintenance.

BillieEilish · 11/07/2019 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OvalCanvas · 11/07/2019 13:25

Agree with @nobreakfastforme , if you're not entitled to a UC top up or HB then the nursery has to go. It's a total luxury if a parent is at home and can care for that child.

Justbreathing · 11/07/2019 13:26

⤴️⤴️
There’s always one.

BillieEilish · 11/07/2019 13:26

What are you confused about exactly tired? this is an embarrassing shit show.

Shahlalala · 11/07/2019 13:27

I wouldn’t say it is enough to live on.

Are you on maternity leave?

Justbreathing · 11/07/2019 13:27

My ⤴️⤴️ Was meant for @BillieEilish !!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/07/2019 13:27

£350 left for council tax, tv, wifi, water, gas, electric, food and travel?

no way, sorry OP.

BlackCatSleeping · 11/07/2019 13:28

I'm guessing he chooses to pay that much maintenance.

I don't understand how he earns so little when working full time. How much is the OP earning? More than they pay in childcare?

Anyway, it doesn't seem like you are actually looking for advice regarding your financial situation. So, good luck, I guess.

TiredTiredandABitMoreTired · 11/07/2019 13:28

Are we reading a different thread? OP hasn't said anything about maintenance, having others fund her and her DP or suggested they give up work...

All she has said is she wouldn't cut maintenance, which is positive isn't it?

You're very angry about a situation we actually have hardly any info about.

CoolCarrie · 11/07/2019 13:28

Why did you both decide to have another child?

Figgygal · 11/07/2019 13:29

no it isn't possible
assuming you are on maternity leave i would stop eldest nursery for now if that genuinely is only area you can cut back quickly.

SuperSara · 11/07/2019 13:30

£400 is quite possible as maintenance for 3 kids.

Making an assumption that OP's partner is earning £1,800 of the £2,100 (complete guess) he would be on around £530 per week, gross.

That comes out at £90 per week maintenance, or over £100 per week if it's on collect & pay.

This is also assuming there's currently 1 child in OP's household and her partner doesn't have the kids staying multiple nights per week.

Lots of assumptions, admittedly..

TiredTiredandABitMoreTired · 11/07/2019 13:30

You sound like one of those posters who takes an instant disliking to the OP because you've discovered her DP already has children with another woman. Are you projecting maybe? Does your ex not pay maintenance or does he have a girlfriend who you don't like or something?

I'm failing to see how else you could reach your conclusions from what the OP has actually said.

SummerInTheVillage · 11/07/2019 13:31

I suspect Billie is a bitter first wife.

Really, OP, he's paying too much in maintenance, get it reassessed.

Justbreathing · 11/07/2019 13:33

People have clearly been at the booze this morning and got a bit white wine angry!!

Chill everyone. Chill.

Op you’re a scrounger and should immediately hand over your kids to a more deserving richer family who won’t do hard tax paying folk out of money. Wink

SquishySquirmy · 11/07/2019 13:33

Yeah I'm a bit disappointed by some of the comments on how to cut maintenance. His older children every bit as much his responsibility as his younger kids. If providing for two children only cost £800 a month then op and her DH would have no trouble living on the amount in her op!
But, clearly, housing, food, bills and child are cost a heck of a lot more!
So £400 may seem a lot to some posters, and it is shitty that many men pay less, but it's not even half the cost of bringing up a child for most of us (once you include housing which IS a cost directly related to having kids - the childless have a lot more options to cut costs). A new family does not excuse anyone from the responsibilities towards their children from their old family.

SuperSara · 11/07/2019 13:33

As others have been saying already, any help would be based on having £750 per month left.

If the child maintenance was excluded for calculating benefits, that would be ridiculous because then the benefits system would be paying maintenance which is absolutely crazy.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 11/07/2019 13:34

If you have your old baby clothes, bf and cloth nappy the babies impact will be massively reduced.
Could you manage a couple of evenings stacking shelves?

pinkdelight · 11/07/2019 13:34

To be fair it was several other posters not the OP who were trying to reduce the maintenance, although the original post could be read as listing it high up knowing that would happen. If she's right that it genuinely never crossed her mind that's good. Though it should also have crossed her mind that these were the outgoings before extending the family beyond what's possible to pay for.