Are we going to be able to survive on this money?

[username6050]

£2,100 between us a month.

Rent is £900.
DP has to pay £400 maintenance.
£450 nursery charges a month.
Will have a 2 year old and a newborn.

It's all seeming impossible!

umm wrong poster that was directed at Billie.

Apologies pink, I know nothing of the system and I just used the calculator which says 3+ children which is what others were asking. I do not think he should reduce maintenance at all. Apologies, sometimes I think too literally.

wouldn't you be much better off to get maternity pay (even if it is SMP) and not pay for childcare?

Well they'd have more than £350 if they took the toddler out of nursery, wouldn't they?

I’m surprised you have to ask, you must know what your monthly bills, food shop etc come to and it’s got to be way more than the £350 you’ve got left after paying rent, chills maintenance and nursery fees

@BillieEilish
Why are you so angry and filled with bitterness and hate towards others who aren’t as lucky as you, or perhaps haven’t made the best decisions but are just trying to live their life. It’s really sad. You know it’s really bad for your health. I know this is an anonymous forum, but kindness is not a bad trait in people. I don’t understand why people who have such great lives are so angry with the world. Seems a waste to me!

£400 is right for two children even where that lives their father, OP and their two half siblings living on only £350
But the mother of those two children presumably also has housing and childcare expenses, which were netted down from £350 calculation?

£400 is right for two children even where that lives their father, OP and their two half siblings living on only £350? Okay.

But what if the NRP has nursery costs of £500? That leaves the the kids with -£100 and their half siblings with £350. You need to look at gross incomes not outgoings.

Why won't the OP answer the question about needing nursery while on Maternity leave? Also, we need to know what he earns to be able to work out if the maintenance is costed appropriately.

OP you need to give more details and answer our questions if you want help and advice

If you’re at home with a baby you can’t expect yo keep the nursery for the older one. What was your situation before you had the baby? Did something change to have put you in this situation?

As someone said above its doable but not sustainable.Travel expenses, electricity, medical bills, heating or something breaking down would knock everything off

justbreathing I'm not angry, I don't give a shit.

But if someone asks on a forum for my opinion I'll give it. The OP did not say to cut down on payments to his first DC's, but it was inferred and many posters jumped in with 'check that payment' I find that despicable. There for but the grace of God go I.

Sorry you disagree.

What has changed in your household since you did your budget before having the two children?

Ok, the fundamental issue here is he is a low earner with three children. He's only paying fifty quid a week each for his two current kids, not nearly enough to support them, and he doesn't earn enough to support the third either.

Op, something has to give as right now you can't survive financially. I'm surprised you even had to ask.

@BillieEilish
You sound angry.
But I would keep an eye on your blood pressure. Being this genuinely pissed off about a small issue isn’t good for you.

£400 is right for two children even where that lives their father, OP and their two half siblings living on only £350? Okay.

That's clearly incorrect. The four hundred fo thr two kids includes everything from food, rent, utilities the lot. Clearly it doesn't come close to housing these two kids.

What remains for the other kid, is his total earnings minus the 400. So say he earns 1500 a month, then he has 1100 left.

You're confusing what the op has left after nursery rent etc with what those other two kids get in total.

£400 is nothing for maintenance. I would hope the childrens' mother has more than £400 a month coming into her household! Sounds like he needs to earn more money if he wants to co-run two households (and yes, I do know it's not that easy to find better paid employment).

Also not so sure it is practical to take the toddler out of nursery. Firstly the OP needs to look after the newborn and it is better to keep the toddler's routine. And secondly, and less self-indulgently, they need to keep the nursery place for when the OP goes back to work.

I realise neither of these comments is helpful practically, apologies for that.

Is the maintenance payment new? Is it on an attachment of earnings with arrears included. If not what has changed that you are suddenly worrying about it.

£400 is nothing for maintenance

Agree, it's fifty quid a week, so either the mother is predominantly supporting them financially or thr government is. Because he's not. Not on fifty quid a week.

With four children to support between thr two of you. Then someone has to get a second job and work it so you both work full time and no nursery is required. Ie night shifts v day shifts, weekend work etc.

I get £50 a week from my exH for three DC so £100 PW for two DC seems quite high comparative to his earnings. It’s great he wants to do so much for his eldest two DC but he does now also have two younger DC to consider and it sounds as though they will suffer unless he finds a higher paid job soon...

You can’t survive on £350 pm, it’s not doable. Our council tax is a third of that then utilities another third+. If you’re paying £900pcm in rent I’m assuming you’re down south so council tax will be even higher. It’s just not doable.

If he is unwilling to reduce maintenance you will have to cut the nursery out, there’s no other way really.

How can a parent ever pay too much towards raising their child
Too many women want babies with new partners who already have commitments and then wonder why they can't afford it.
Surely you do the sums first and if not possible and you want kids find someone who doesn't already have them.
It's not rocket science, but beyond comprehension for some women.

OP, look into UC and staying at home until your children are of an age when you need to return.

Oh another thread where £50pw per child is nothing.

I would love to be either so privileged or stuck so far up my own arse that i couldnt see that to some people its certainly not nothing.

Ive said it before and ill say it again. When dss lived with we spent on average less per week on him than we now pay in maintenance for him.

Kids do not cost as much to bring up as the ex wives club of mumsnet like to make out.

£800 a month to bring up 2 kids is plenty.

Op have you had your baby yet?

I wouldn't be so quick to leave your job if its a secure one you've worked hard to achieve. They are small for such a short amount of time and it will be harder to get back in the workplace.

As much as you may not want to reduce the maintenance, you may have to temporarily to get your finances in order. I would get you dh to have a conversation with your sc mother.

Are you registered for tax free childcare? That might help with the nursery costs.