Are we going to be able to survive on this money?

[username6050]

£2,100 between us a month.

Rent is £900.
DP has to pay £400 maintenance.
£450 nursery charges a month.
Will have a 2 year old and a newborn.

It's all seeming impossible!

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to get to the bottom of. The newborn appearing can be predicted, but I guess the maintenance question depends very much on how many children it is for?

I would have thought you shouldn't be paying that much with 2 other children - check it out.

No of course it's not possible on 350 a month. You have bills like utilities, food for four people, phones, it's not doable.

Something has to give.

You’ll need to take 2 year old out of nursery I think. Are you on mat leave?

The child Maintence seems high. How many children does he have from previous relationships?

Yes, how many children is the maintenance supporting?

Maintenance high for that wage tbh! That need to be reassessed

Does the will have mean this is not the current situation but will be when your baby is born?

Um, regardless of the CM rates, I find it strange that £400 is seen as too much for his previous DC when you're paying more than that on part-time childcare alone for subsequent DC. Knowing that was his payment for the DC he already had, it's a bit shit if that's the cost that is now seen as being extraneous because two new kids make it untenable. This kind of thinking sucks. If he cuts it back, it'll be the mum of his first DC wondering what she can survive on!

How long away is this?
Do you have savings?
If you have time to save, do so NOW. Even if that means tightening your belts!

It is quite common for people to dig into savings whilst on ML. Whilst not sustainable long term, living off a combination of savings and income is fine in the short term, and maternity leave won't be forever.

I disagree with posters who say cut back the child maintenance- I don't know the exact situation, but the needs of the older children do not suddenly decrease/ vanish when a younger sibling is born.

Better for you and your partner to go without luxuries and save money now than cut back financial contributions for his older children, who will cost their mother money (prob a lot more than £400 a month) to house, clothe and feed.

And regardless of his earnings, to think that £400 a month is a lot to raise one or more DC, shows how little we expect from dads who make new families. Very sad.

I agree with you, pinkdelight. Maintenance isn't a frippery.

@pinkdelight

OP works PT, her DP works FT. Their overall income is £2100 so if she’s working PT then he’s earning less than 2k a month yet is paying £400 a month in CM? It seems steep unless it is for multiple children.

If you have a newborn, surely you will be on maternity leave? Therefore you can stop the nursery.

Other than that, there is child benefit, child tax credits/universal credit, childcare vouchers/tax free childcare. With those, you would have a lot more left over.

You need to make a statement of affairs, in which you list every single incoming and outgoing money, then you go over the second part with a fine tooth comb, to see what you can reduce or cut out.
The Moneysavingexpert forum will probably be more helpful than this forum, to be honest.

£400 is just his half pinkdelight, their mum is also responsible for them.

take 2 yo out of nursery whilst you are on mat leave.

£450 saved straight away.

Obviously the mum will be paying half. And will have rent and bills and possibly childcare and everything else too. It's still not much in the scheme of things. And my point was that it was a known overhead before any further DC were factored in, so it's a bit shit to get to this stage, declare it impossible, and think that particular cutback is the solution. What was the plan??

No, not at all

You haven't taken into account food bills plus all the costs associated with your newborn.

That's also assuming you have no phone bills, wifi, Sky TV, contact lens prescription, medication

Absolutely no leaving the house for a night out, no going to paid activities with children, no dinners out, no drinks out etc

Also do you own a car? Have to pay petrol money, MOT, insurance, if anything breaks down and needs repairing

What about birthday months? DP, DC, DM, DD, Sister/brother/best friend/childrens friends?

Sorry to scare you but it really isn't enough, plus its always best to have some money extra anyway in case anything unexpected pops up

For all we know that £400 may be for 5 kids 🤷

I’d take the 2yo out of nursery during mat leave and as shit as it is, I’d do a benefits calculator as though only your DP is working to see if you will be better off quitting your job. It may be the case if nursery fees outweigh your earnings.

Is the newborn here, on the way or a future possibility OP?

No you can’t survive on this. You need to take the 2 year old out of nursery - I can’t see whether this is short term, ie will you go back full time? Can you move to a cheaper area/smaller house

You should have thought about this really before having kids. But that horse has bolted

If the OPs partner is paying too much maintenance based on his earnings then it’s likely he’s depriving the children he has with OP of the right amount of money.
Mumsnet is so weird about maintenance (and I say that as someone who’s maintenance from my exH halved as a result of him having more children).

You have a newborn so why is older child still at nursery that has to go.