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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let my children play in the garden in the morning?

87 replies

SoVeryTired998 · 11/07/2019 09:48

I put my two sons (2 and 1) out in the garden this morning just after 9am, and within minutes the neighbour who's house ours backs onto stuck her head out the window and shouted at me to take the children inside because she has an 11 hour shift and needs to sleep.

I was mortified and say ok I'll take them in, and swiftly picked them up and bunged them inside. She had her window open so I could hear her bitching about me as I did it, and when I went back out to get a toy I could hear her TV on and thought if she can have the TV on then can they now be outside?

So clearly I shouldn't have had them outside so early, what time is acceptable? Should I go and speak to her and see if we can come to some sort of mutually convenient arrangement with regards to my children playing in the garden? I now feel a bit trapped in my house and I don't know when I should let them play outside because I don't want another dressing down from her, we don't exactly live in the nicest of areas so I'm aware of not pissing anyone off as you don't know how it will escalate.

I'm very upset about it all and just looking for some guidance on what other do so please put the kid gloves on Sad

OP posts:
Musicalmistress · 11/07/2019 09:52

I actually think after 9 on a weekday is plenty late enough. Mine would’ve been up for hours by that point!

EleanorReally · 11/07/2019 09:52

well you could go out with them, and you could have a mutually convenient time, but 9 am sounds reasonable.
but i think if you are with them in the garden you can try and ensure they play quietly

Lllot5 · 11/07/2019 09:53

I thought you were going to say it was half six or something. I don’t think 9am is that early. My dad used to work nights he always said if he could go to sleep not much woke him up but if noise started before he could drop off then he found it more difficult.
Your kids have to able to play out in their own garden. As long as they aren’t screaming.

m4mmy0f0ne · 11/07/2019 09:53

I really don't think 9am is a bad time for the kiddies to be out, my neighbours son is regularly out kicking his football about from 7:30am. Yes it can be annoying but he likes to play outside i would never say anything to his parents as i have no right to. Your neighbour is the one being unreasonable, its not your fault she's got a long shift🤷‍♀️

boredboredboredboredbored · 11/07/2019 09:55

Yanbu she needs to buy earplugs or move to somewhere remote. It's a lovely day and you shouldn't be stuck inside!

user27495824 · 11/07/2019 09:55

I think after 9 is perfectly reasonable.

Siameasy · 11/07/2019 09:56

9am is fine in my book. We have been out in our garden at 630am! You’re entitled to use your own garden! Obv at 630am I tell DD to talk quietly. You can’t please everyone-the majority of people are up by 9am so I would consider that reasonable

IvanaPee · 11/07/2019 09:56

9 is fine!

Lindy2 · 11/07/2019 09:56

How loud were they?
9am is fine to be in the garden making a normal low level of playing noise.
If they were screaming and shouting loudly or similar then that's what the problem is not the time of day.

Loopyloopy · 11/07/2019 09:56

I was a shift worker for a very long time, and so long as they're not doing something totally obnoxious, after 8am is fine. The world does not revolve around her shift.

PenelopeFlintstone · 11/07/2019 09:59

Of course 9 is fine! She needs to get earplugs. Or sleep on the other side of the house.

Treaclesweet · 11/07/2019 10:00

9 is fine she's a cowbag don't listen to her

lmusic87 · 11/07/2019 10:01

9am seems fine, I would make sure they weren't screaming though.

MaryShelley1818 · 11/07/2019 10:02

9am is perfectly reasonable. Presuming they weren’t out there screaming the place down which is awful any time.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 11/07/2019 10:02

After 9 is fine, even 8 would’ve been ok.

Celebelly · 11/07/2019 10:03

After 9 is fine. I used to work nights and you have to just accept that life is going to go on around you. Ear plugs and white noise machine cover all manner of sins!

Twotome · 11/07/2019 10:03

9 is absolutely fine. The only mistake you made was taking them inside, rather than telling her where to go.

Nonnymum · 11/07/2019 10:04

I think 9am is fine to be honest. It's not as though it's the crack of dawn at that time it their could be noisy builders, people cutting grass, bin men arriving etc I can't see why she should object to children playing.

LorelaiRoryEmily · 11/07/2019 10:04

Send them back out and tell her to piss off!

steppemum · 11/07/2019 10:04

9 am on a weekday is fine (actually 9 am on saturday would be fine as long as they aren't screaming.

She is being unreasonable as she wants the world to be quiet. If she is on shift work, then she is going to wnat you to be quiet all day!

I would perhaps work round her a bit (to be neighbourly) but don't feel bad. She needs earplugs and to close her window

PepsiLola · 11/07/2019 10:04

9 o'clock? Is she having a laugh!? What a dick neighbour.

Your kids are perfectly fine to play outside at that time and she's being a dickhead

happyhillock · 11/07/2019 10:05

9am is fine, i know what i'd be telling her, its not your problem that she work's shift's, i wouldn't be letting her dictate when your kid's can use the garden

PepsiLola · 11/07/2019 10:05

Wow, I didn't realise how sweary I felt today 😂

Sceptre86 · 11/07/2019 10:22

She is just being an unreasonable witch. After 9am on a weekday is fine, not so much on a weekend though. She doesn't get to dictate when your kids play out, a bit of consideration for neighbours is nice but don't pander to them.

cocomelon23 · 11/07/2019 10:24

What were they doing in the garden? Were they shouting and screaming?