To think ‘Really?’ when a work colleague takes time off with her sick DDs.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

To be clear - I have no intention of mentioning/doing anything about this IRL, and I am very willing to accept I’m BU. I mainly just want to gauge if my scepticism is justified in any way.

A work colleague has two DDs, 15 and 17 - no special needs, no long-term health conditions, both in mainstream schooling, older one learning to drive. Whenever either of them is off school with a minor illness - heavy cold, stomach bug - she calls in to claim emergency carer’s leave and takes the day off with them, sometimes two days. This happens once every two or three months, with either girl, not just one in particular, so we have to pick up her work.

Now my DCs are only 7 and almost 5, but I was very much hoping that by the time they’re in high school, I’ll be able to confirm they can access the loo, food and fluids, then leave them at home by themselves and not pass my workload to my colleagues and make it into work. My mum did this with me from the age of 12 possibly even younger

AIBU to think 15 and 17 year olds are old enough to look after themselves when they’re a bit unwell, or is this one of those parental care things that has changed since I was a teenager? Or is it a ‘depends on the child’ thing?

@Graphista why are your posts always massive long essays?

It’s not about “not having compassion” but maybe some of us are just fucking pissed off at being shat on by the serial pisstakers who seem to permeate every workplace! Of course family comes first but if you have a job that comes with an expectation that you’ll actually turn up and do it, not skive off at the drop of a hat.

Why are there always posters who jump onto very long threads announcing that they are "giving a different/ alternative view" and then repeating a version of a story which has been told 347 Tim's already on the thread? Are they the same posters who also claim to be "going against the grain" when they post the same opinion as 60% if other posters?

Posters that don’t RTFT drive me nuts, anothernotherone. Either RTFT and respond appropriately to what has already been said, or assume your point has probably been made if you can’t be bothered reading it and go elsewhere.

Lol that is taking the pee! Unless not SEN but other issue that we don’t know about, maybe severe inflammatory bowel or severe blood loss with periods etc

Why don't you just get on with your own work and stop bothering about somebody's leave time, we've all had to cover for absent employee's, what goes around comes around

Some Mums here breastfeed the nippers well into their thirties...
No she is being ridiculous.

YANBU!

I’m sure she wouldn’t take the piss so often if she didn’t get paid for being off work.

I have just recently had to leave Ds (12) home while he’s off sick, so that I can go to work. If he was being sick every 5 mins there would be no way I’d leave him but for a cough and cold I will, I have to. I don’t get paid if I’m off.

How about you RTFT happyhillock, or even just my posts which MN helpfully highlights for you so you can see how this is having zero bearing whatsoever on my work. There’s a dear.

When I was 15. My mum was concerned about my mental health and felt guilty that she wasn’t around more when I was off school with various issues, so resigned from her role as a teacher. I felt guilty on reflection years later but even though i was 15 I needed support from my parents and she realised this. Just wondering if the teenage girls the ops talking about are maybe similar to how I was at that age. Hormones I think affected me badly and I hated school so if I was able to take a day off I would do (bullying issues etc).

The teens in the op are taking a lot of time off so maybe the mum suspects they are struggling too hence taking the leave when they are off to support them

What Trust do you work in that gives you this much paid leave? I’m NHS and we get first day of the episode of sickness paid then it’s out of annual leave or unpaid. Not all public sector workers get loads of paid leave sadly.

That would be outing DefConOne so I will decline to answer. Someone else on this thread has said they get eight days paid emergency leave per year so we’re not unique. It is just one day emergency leave paid - a second day would be annual leave or unpaid if you have no A/L left, but the vast majority of the time she only takes the one emergency day.

I agree that people are telling OP about their own experience which has no bearing on her experience.

I say that as a Mum to three bairns with ASN and stepmum to one with ASN and one with major MH struggles.

I know my colleagues better than randoms on the internet, don't all of us?

Some people just take the piss. Without ASN or caring responsibilities or their own MH struggles. Some people are just pisstakers.

Emergency leave is exactly what it says. Emergency. Not I fancied a day off, not my NT child has a sniffle, not any of the other countless examples I could think of.

Those with children with ASN or a disability, that's an entirely different situation, not what the OP is talking about.

If the woman in this situation does have children with ASN then she should have said so to her management, because reasonable adjustments and legal protection for parents of kids with disabilities can't be applied unless they know about them!

There are a fair few people at my work who take the piss, regularly. Not showing up on time (or at all occasionally), doing a half arsed job when they're there, not doing what needs to be done.

If they have issues in their private life that are causing this, they should speak to management, not take emergency leave that isn't an emergency and leave the rest of the team to pick up the slack!

It depends, they may not have special needs but they may suffer other conditions such as asthma where something like the flu can be quite serious.

It may be she's taking the mick. However you're not 100% sure of this person's circumstances. Sometimes there are underlying issues an employee wants kept private where those discussions have happened between an employee and employer. Ultimately it's the employer who approves the leave so deems it acceptable or not.

YANBU. My DDs are 15 and 18 and I haven't taken a day off with them sick since they were about 13. My only exception was when one was projectile vomiting and it was so violent I worried she might choke.

15 and 17? F me shes taking the mick lol

What a workshy pisstaker

Interesting but my NHS board gives up to five days carera leave a year so can cover all dependants (not just children)

But I mean I left home at 17 so why the hell would any mother need to take time off?!?

Seriously??? I am happy to leave my 17 dealing with younger kids if they are sick if. If the 17 yr old is sick they have my mobile number if they REALLY need me at work my 15 year old depends how poorly probably get grandmother to call by and check if I do go to work.

Was all ready to say YABU but serious 15 and 17?! Urm YANBU She doesn’t need to take a day off for that. At most she maybe needs to take a slightly longer lunch if she wants to run home to check on them quickly and then come back to work. At what age is she going to stop this 21? 27? 40? If it was that one of her teenagers had been in an accident or was so ill they were in hospital then fine but stomach bug or cold? No, she should make sure they have supplies and go to work and nicely ask her manager if it’s ok for her to call her sick child every couple of hours to just check on them but still be at work.

Blimey! Bit of a piss take. I was a latch key kid from 9, a young carer at 10 and looked after myself when sick from 11. The only time my mum took time off work was when I had a car accident at 19 and I was struggling to care for myself.

Well unless you are her manager you don’t really know what’s going on. Perhaps there’s an underlying issue but the message colleagues get are daughters are a bit ill

From the OPs' original post, they have to pick up her work

Sounds like she has munchausen by proxy (not to diagnose over the Internet) but she clearly wants attention for her kids being sick my friends mum is still like this with her 25 and 28 year old DDs 🤦‍♀️🙄

Wow! This thread STILL trending?

When I first seen the title I think what! Then I read their shes. In the name of God she is more than taking the piss