A generation waiting to inherit

[Okaydoklay]

With house prices being so high, are we creating a generation of people who home ownership is out of their grasp, and those who have wealthier parents , they are all waiting for their parents to pass to ever be able to afford their own home.

And millenials, or at least all the ones I know, really are wasting their money on smart phones, fancy holidays and living in accommodation that is more expensive than they need. (They dont all like avocado though). We didnt waste anything but this generation are wasteful.

Sorry but this is bullshit. Millennials are not struggling to buy homes because of smart phones and holidays. It is not their fault that renting is so goddam expensive and they need to live in expensive areas to access jobs.

When my parents were young, they were able to get an adequate mortgage on 3x 1 salary. These days this would be laughable. Property prices are out of hand and unreachable compared to wages - it is not mobile phones creating that problem.

I say this as an older Millenial who has my own home in an expensive area but I will call out anyone who blames millennials for (largely fabricated) fancy lifestyles when the real problem lies in many other places.

Cost of first time homes across the country, the average is just over £212K but only the SE is above that and London is double that.

As far as 'living close to work' people now have to balance two jobs and not just one and so my impression is people commute further these days. My local green councillor says the average commute is the same length (30 mins) but people drive more so travel further than they did when lots of people walked or cycled.

horrified at the type of place social services will pay for

It's the same places that your own money will pay for - private care homes.

Never live your life thinking that an inheritance is going to come your way.

Even if it does the likelyhood is that it will be too little too late.

Go out and make your own money and get in the habit of saving and investing.

I knew I wouldn’t inherit anything from my family. Dp’s Family were very well off but they downsized into a flat from the large family home and invested a chunk in a safe high street bank’s pension plan, ( they wanted the safest option) but the agent sent round to them invested the money into what could only be thought of as get rich quick, highly volatile investments and they lost a lot of money there.

They have enjoyed their retirement and regularly took round the world cruises and holidays. Part of the reason for buying the flat was that they felt safe locking the door and going off for 2 or 3 months at a time.

Then dps df died and there were death duties to pay. Now his dm has had to go into a nursing home. £1200 per week. Drs have said given her families longevity she could be there for another 5 years which would just about take what is left in the pot.

In the meantime Dp is terminally ill. We paid for an operation that neither the NHS or his health insurance would pay for which at best would give him 5 more years.

More than likely Dp will die before his dm

My remaining parent downsized from a 3 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow in town, unfortunately bungalows attract a massive premium around here so the bungalow cost more than the proceeds from the house sale. Just a normal bungalow too, no land or private driveway or other premium factors.

Slightly an aside but I also think caring for an older person with dementia is very different to caring for cancer or similar, where the end point is usually nearer. In fact it is likely to not be possible to care for dementia at home for long. I had a relative who kept letting himself out of the house at 2am and driving down the motorway, just kept driving and driving until the fuel ran out and the police retrieved them. If you hid the keys, the person would smash his way out of the easiest door / window. I don’t think many people realise, as a pp said, that it’s not just a bit of forgetfulness.

floribundia no it really isn't. There are care homes and then there are care homes. SS will pay for a place in the cheapest (and even that's not cheap). If you want to choose, and choose better, then you need to pay the difference. That's several hundred pounds per week.

Mascarpone and wine:-

Slightly an aside but I also think caring for an older person with dementia is very different to caring for cancer or similar, where the end point is usually nearer.

-

That's very true. My aunt had dementia and went into a nursing home, however she was 91 or 92 and it wasn't long - just a few weeks - before she died (that isn't always the case for 90 year olds). Her daughter, my cousin, let her house to pay for her care, after she died she carried on letting it for quite a while, she was sentimental about the home she grew up in and was loathe to part with it for a long time.

It was a sad business.

One of my neighbours mothers had Alzheimer, it started when she was in her sixties and she lasted for years. She was at home, had carers and her husband lovingly cared for her with input from their children but the illness manifested itself in her just fading away quietly, in a world of her own and eventually bedridden until she died. It was terribly sad for everyone.

A friend's dad was quite different; like the relative Marscarpone talks about above, he got up and went out in the night - driving the car!! That was a frightening business. He died eventually but there was no peace for 'mum' for a while.

Cases like those really make for very sobering thoughts.

That's terribly sad Rachel.

I know a few people who think like this, ages 40-50. In both cases while not incurring debt they all live very nice lives with lots of socializing and holidays and no priorities for saving. All have a far higher than typical household income and have. Itching to show for it. Talk about how they can’t afford houses, it’s not fair, meanwhile people on 1/3 of their income have saved for years for a down payment; they just can’t seem to wrap their head around the fact that’s how it was afforded. In all of the friends I’m thinking of, parents are very well off. One did ask parents for all her inheritance early, parents declined, caused a rift from my friend to her Mum (friend cross Mum said no) and then Mum very suddenly died. All will inherit big time upon parents deaths and have the ability to buy substantial mortgage free homes. But hey forget sometimes care needed near the end of life = ££££££!

I come from a poorer family with absolutely no expectations of inheriting anything. In 1979 my DH and I lived on the south coast with no prospect of affording a house so we moved north east a hundred miles or so to a cheap area of the country and, with two salaries and a loan for the deposit from his folks that had to be repaid, we bought a small property.

Continual hard work and two moves on we had enough to fund a small detached doer upper detached house. Over more than thirty years we extended it and brought it up to scratch. We did it with our own labour and the two of us working full time through having a family. We gave up a lot that friends and family had as well:- fancy holidays and cars, meals out, treats, a subscription lifestyle and so on. We lived frugally and prioritised paying debts and keeping solvent.

We have been able to help our own children by saving the rent for them as house deposits when they were working adults living at home and subbing one further when she bought her first home with her DP.

So, it is not the case that everyone has either ‘great expectations ‘ of inheritance or is doomed to homelessness. Hard work, resilience and flexibility will often see you through.

Just 7% of older people end up in residential care, mostly women because higher life expectancy means they outlive their husbands and have no carer at home. The average cost of care is 30-40k per person, but 10% of people have costs up to 100k or more, and 25% will never have any. So there’s your lottery.

As for inheritance, I think property is a major issue. In our area (surrey) there is an acute housing shortage which is pushing up prices. It’s a wealthy area so people who can’t get the price they want for selling just rent out and buy something else instead, we also have a problem with large numbers of older couples in big houses on big plots, which would make a big difference if they could be sold and replaced with eg 3 smaller units.

Problems are also creeping up with pensions, many of today’s older retirees have generous guaranteed pension income and higher state pensions, but this is changing as the new state pension will be lower in the long run and people now typically save into personal pension pots that they have to manage themselves. Few people have sufficient provision for this, so it’s likely any inheritance will also have to go to topping up retirement income (one way of doing this is taking yourself out of rental market and buying a home). There will be less inheritance in the future though because of these changes.

The baby boomers have had very generous economic circumstances overall that have allowed them to amass this level of security, but unpredictability means nothing is really secure and anyone waiting for a big inheritance in more than twenty year’s time is in for a potential shock

We're getting an inheritance next year from Grandparents. If all goes as expected (which obviously could change, so this more an ideal circumstances thing) DH will start job hunting in a much cheaper to buy area. We'll relocate to get on the property ladder with a mortgage that will be paid off before retirment. Mine and DHs parents all own a lot of valuable property between them, so if there is any inheritance from our parents our hope is that it will go to our children as deposits and give them the same opportunity we have now.

My brother and I each have two children. We have asked our parents to bypass us on their will in favour of the 4 grandchildren as we both already own (mortgaged) houses.

My house is enough for my family, we have a relatively small mortgage and while we could afford more our current outgoings would be manageable by either one of us should the other be unable to work.

Of my parents have anything left to leave I'd rather it went to help my children and their cousins.

I know a few people who think like this, ages 40-50. In both cases while not incurring debt they all live very nice lives with lots of socializing and holidays and no priorities for saving.

I lost an uncle aged 46 and a cousin aged 31. It does make you rethink priorites on saving - or at least putting so much aside that you can't enjoy yourself now. Carpe diem.

Most of the elderly in our families are in their 90s and still going strong. They've sold their properties to move into homes. More people are living for longer and require support from a home. So there is no home to pass down.

Well they shouldn't be expecting or relying on money from their parents I don't know anyone just waiting for their parents to solve their problems. Do people really think like this?

I live in the North East where property prices have levelled out and if you can raise a big enough deposit you’ll be paying less than you would rent. You can buy a nice two bed terrace here for 70k. If you are happy to do some work then it’s 50k. We only had to raise 3k for our first house deposit.

To a lot of people I come into contact with at work though (very low income group) it wouldn’t even occur to them to buy a house and it’s not something they’re interested in.

I’m certainly not waiting for my parents to pass on an inheritance to me. We’ll have our mortgage paid off by 50. Then we will be helping our kids to buy by whichever means necessary.

Owning a home is only outwith the grasp for many in certain areas of the country thoiugh.
In my area a two bed semi with garden will cost £125K.

we also have a problem with large numbers of older couples in big houses on big plots, which would make a big difference if they could be sold and replaced with eg 3 smaller units

We have this type of thing in our area. However the “3 smaller units” are quite large 5 bedroom places with a hefty price tag similar to what the developer purchased the original house and gardens for in the first place.

Also I am a baby boomer. This means when I started work at a well known high street bank I couldn’t get one of their credit cards or a loan on my own. I had to have my fathers or husbands signature that I wouldn’t be a silly girl.

Given my father was long gone and I didn’t have a husband it was a no from them.

I haven’t had a penny from my own family and everything had to be worked for.

No idea where people nowadays think because you were born in certain years your life was a bed of roses and everything was handed to you on a plate.

FYI Dd 19 has just bought her first place.

It is a couple of hundred miles away, in a very grotty condition and she works on it when she has a few days between the other multiple jobs she does.

So it is possible to buy. It just might not be the perfect location or the perfect decor or the perfect size and to afford it you might have to do more than one job and work unsociable hours.

Pretty much what we had to do when we started out.

Oliversmumsarmy Absolutely.
I bought my first property in the 1980s, interest rates were 14%.
Money was very tight.

At sixty both parents had developed dementia but were otherwise in good health. Both went into care, one is still alive today.
‘Have dementia but otherwise in good health’....I probably wouldn’t say ‘good’ health. Someone who requires full care isn’t in good health
You do know that you are allowed to let them die? I work a lot with dementia patients. I simply don’t understand the families that want me to treat the urine infection or pneumonia in their 80 year old mother who lives in a care home, recognizes no-one and requires help for every aspect of care. I actually had one family once say they wanted me ‘to do everything’ for their dementia ridden bed bound, hoisted, doubly incontinent, peg fed, mute relative.
Occasionally I have a family who ask me not to treat an infection in a relative with dementia, and I breath a huge sigh of relief. The family understands that the general trajectory of quality of life is a downward one and don’t want to see their relative (and themselves by proxy) suffer indefinitely. Sometimes I wonder if there is a huge inheritance which the family doesn’t want eaten up by a care home, but actually in terms of how I care for the patient that is irrelevant. Just because we CAN keep people alive until they are 90 doesn’t mean we should.
Everyone should have a Lasting Power of Atorney where decisions regarding medical management are discussed long before ill health sets in (I’ve just done mine and I’m in my 40s). I’ve yet to meet a patient who wants to be kept alive as long as possible with dementia in a care facility.
Sorry to slightly high jack the thread.

I simply don’t understand the families that want me to treat the urine infection or pneumonia in their 80 year old mother who lives in a care home, recognizes no-one and requires help for every aspect of care

Isn’t the whole point that the infection could be the reason they recognise no one and require help.

Jumping in on this one oliversmumsarmy - please don’t conflate issues. An infection can cause temporary delirium in older people but it does not cause dementia.

I live in Yorkshire and many of the generation are not waiting to inherit,I know many people in their early twentys who have bought their own houses. Maybe don't live down south if you want to buy your own house.

The idea that baby boomers had it easy is laughable they may have in the south, but in the Sheffield area in the 80s and 90s with steel and miners they were areas of mass redundancys, strikes, high unemployment.

I think there will be more inheritance disputes and money spent on lawyers. You only need to look at some of the threads on here to see that.