Most people are evenly matched to their partner in the looks department?

[TwinkleWings]

And I know beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and not the be all and end all, people's personalities make them more attractive etc etc but AIBU in thinking that the majority of couples are around the same level of attractiveness? So super hot woman would more than likely have a super hot husband and on the other end of the spectrum an "ugly" man would have an "ugly" wife? (for what it's worth I don't think there are many people in the world that are on either end of this spectrum. Most of us sit somewhere in the middle. Also have used the word ugly in speech marks because I don't really like using it)

Do you think that is true for your relationship? I do for mine. We're not bad the pair of us - neither would make a model but I'm fairly happy with my features and I would say DH was with his. I'd say we were very evenly matched and people wouldn't be shocked that we were a couple.

Occasionally, I've met couples and been so shocked that they are together because one of them will be much more attractive than the other (disclaimer before people jump on me!! I KNOW this is wrong and would NEVER vocalise this to anyone but we ALL think like this, it's completely normal!)

So, AIBU!?

My partner is better looking than me by quite a way off! We met online so i snared him with my winning personality (ha!). I dont know why he stays, in addition to being less attractive I'm also grumpy and quite lazy .

I don't think so. I think there are a lot of couples where the woman is so much more attractive. That's usually the way.

Perhaps all these women who are convinced their partners are much more attractive than them are doing themselves a disservice and not seeing how lovely they actually look?

In our natural state i.e. me without make up, I believe my dh is better looking. When I am wearing make up (whenever we go out) I feel we are on an even keel.

YABU. This sounds horrible, but I used to live in a city which attracted a lot of wealthy male oil workers, and you did used to get a lot of reasonably nice looking men with some fairly plain women.

I agree with the poster above who says that you rarely see an exceptionally handsome man with a plain woman though.

I think @Justherewithmypopcorn has it pretty spot on.
I Have never seen a really hot guy with an average woman.

@Buddytheelf85 yeh it's annoying isn't it?! We're just supposed to accept that any man can be separate from his looks iyswim, and ''pull'' a beautiful woman who is not separate from her looks, her value, and the kudos in having her is precisely her looks. The man though, he is himself first and his looks second.

Look up ''adorkable misogyny'' about the big bang on youtube!

This is summed up by the "2 point rule" isn't it?

People will have relationships (not one night stands etc) with others who are of the same attractiveness, or up to 2 points higher/lower.

Studies have shown that the main factors to alter this are fame/importance &/or money.

It's been shown to be true across all kinds of cultures & nationalities I believe, I'm struggling to recall where I read about it though; may have to google.

Interesting thread! I think generally partners do tend to fall into line with one another. I’ve been on both sides of the equation.. My ex was a wonderful man (but a little dull) and extremely good looking in a sort of 1950s heartthrob kind of way. I felt like he was a bit out of my league, but I think that’s probably because I’m more naturally drawn to partners with ‘interesting’ faces. I didn’t actually fancy him that much, which is mainly why we split up after 7 years together.

My current partner is quite a bit older than me, and was smoking hot in his younger years - to the extent that he was a poster/cover boy in Jackie and a few other teen mags! If I’d been the same age as him then I think he would have been a bit out of my league. Not dramatically so, but he was spoilt for choice. The age disparity has definitely tipped things in my favour now, but I still think he’s gorgeous.

I think so though there are always exceptions.

PooWillyBumBum

I think my husband is more attractive than me. He’s never thought he was that attractive but people at work and friends comment on it All The Time. Even heterosexual men. I think if he thought he was gods gift I wouldn’t have found him attractive at all. I look after myself and am reasonably attractive but I doubt all his colleagues rush to tell him how sexy I am when I leave a room...it doesn’t bother me though.

I could've written this too Poo except it does slightly annoy me. Especially when they say how young looking he is, I might not be hot, but I'm baby-faced ffs.

Interesting.

DH is stupidly good looking. We are talking seriously beautiful man: tall, well-proportioned, with dark manly looks and chiselled chin. As my gay friend said when he first met him: Oooh love, he's bloody gorgeous! I'm having improper thoughts 

It was weird when we were first going out as I suddenly noticed how he was drawing looks and in number of social situations, I could see some women checking me out and trying to work out whether we are together or not. It was an odd experience if I'm honest as all my previous partners were fairly average looking.

Also because I am attractive and would typically be the one getting the attention so it was definitely character-building 

@TwinkleWings

YANBU. Most very fit and slim 'gym-bunny' types will not go for someone who is overweight and cannot be bothered to exercise or take care of themselves.

Most very pretty/beautiful people will go for someone of equal attractiveness, average folk go for average folk, and the not so aesthetically pleasing seem to find each other too!

You will usually only see a less attractive person with a very attractive one if the less attractive one is rich or solvent.

Although I do occasionally see a physically unattractive man with an attractive women, but I think that is because women are not attracted to looks quite as much as men are.

Very rare to see a physically attractive man with a not-very-attractive woman though. (If they are just an ordinary couple/not famous/not rich.)

I know one couple (32-33 y.o.) and he looks like Justin Bieber. He is really good looking and slim, and quite fit (walks and cycles a lot, and goes swimming 2-3 times a week.) She is short, fat, looks 10 years older than she is, and has a soft chin. She also does NO sport at all. Really weird. (As some people say 'beauty is in the of the beholder...)

YNBU as a general rule. But I wouldn’t be shocked by exceptions because they occur regularly enough. I once found myself fancying a very unattractive bloke (looks wise) once. There was just something about him I was drawn to.

Most people are evenly matched but maybe the women are slightly better looking (we have makeup, skincare and better clothes though).

I am my DP's 'ideal type' - young looking, cute and pretty (as opposed to beautiful or hot), slim and small with a 'great bum' (his words).

He is definitely far better looking though! Extremely handsome, perfect cheekbones, tall, perfect body, perfect skin, perfect smile/teeth, super soft hair and extremely naughty and charming with it. He makes people melt all the time.

I'm a much nicer person than him though! 🤣 He said he liked me because he thinks I am kind, honest, loyal, nurturing, patient, empathetic, thoughtful and I make him laugh. These qualities were more important to him.

In my experience generally the woman is the better looking one or rather the one that would probably be objectively more attractive. I’ve always thought it and wondered why it’s the case! Maybe it’s because women do more to their appearance but often it’s the body type etc as well. I see way more average looking, slightly overweight men with women I would class as attractive.

It is amplified even more in films, particularly romantic comedies!!!

bugeyedbarber I had a male colleague who was stereotypically very good looking (tan, dark hair and eyes type thing) and I used to enjoy it when we caught the train together because I found it amusing seeing women “subtly” checking him out, looking at me confused..looking back at him..looking a bit put out that he was “with” me etc
Actually I didn’t fancy him at all! What a waste haha

@Siameasy It's weird isn't it?

It was a real learning curve for me if I'm honest as I've never experienced it to that extent. DH is an introvert and generally quite reserved, shy even which is almost at odds with how he looks.

I am used to it now but at first the overt attention he'd get was unsettling and I didn't like the way I felt about it (had no concerns about him in the scenario, it was more the sudden sense of threat or inadequacy it would trigger in me )

I think like with everything, extreme fortune in one department is a double edged sword.

Women in the US get a lot of stuff done .. it's fairly normal to have new teeth , boob jobs etc so they probably aren't genetically better looking , they have bought t ..

This is a very interesting thread! I think if you put aside the rich, wealthy and famous which will always be an anomaly, then in general people are actually pretty well matched

Thinking about myself and DH, and all our friends that are in couples they are all a very similar level of attractiveness.

Although 5 years ago I was much more attractive and then I started putting on weight, whilst DH did not so he is more attractive than me now. But ignoring aging as a factor I think in general people are evenly matched looks wise

Judging by the looks of Sir Philip Greed and his hideous wife Tina, I think you may well be right.

Nope I’m better looking than my husband although he’s attractive I used to do beauty modelling when I was in my twenties and people still compliment my youthful good looks and I’m in my forties.
DH is incredibly clever and kind so we are a perfect fit.

Hmm, no I don't think YABU at all, as others have said there have been lots of studies.

I'm in the US, and DH is military. Its been quite interesting over the years to see the husbands vs the wives.

They started from all the men punching (or trying to) to most of them not valuing looks much at all, compared to a spouse who can put up with military life.

Then, they hit a certain age and rank (if they haven't retired) and a few of them start thinking they can "upgrade" .

DH has always been told he's punching, and people are always amazed we're married and have been for so long.
He's quite a lot older than me and was from the wrong side of the tracks horrible phrase but I think that's what makes people think he's punching (or perhaps that his parents were Mexican immigrants? ) as he's hot as hell and v silver fox, whereas I'm stereotypically english rose.