Most people are evenly matched to their partner in the looks department?

[TwinkleWings]

And I know beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and not the be all and end all, people's personalities make them more attractive etc etc but AIBU in thinking that the majority of couples are around the same level of attractiveness? So super hot woman would more than likely have a super hot husband and on the other end of the spectrum an "ugly" man would have an "ugly" wife? (for what it's worth I don't think there are many people in the world that are on either end of this spectrum. Most of us sit somewhere in the middle. Also have used the word ugly in speech marks because I don't really like using it)

Do you think that is true for your relationship? I do for mine. We're not bad the pair of us - neither would make a model but I'm fairly happy with my features and I would say DH was with his. I'd say we were very evenly matched and people wouldn't be shocked that we were a couple.

Occasionally, I've met couples and been so shocked that they are together because one of them will be much more attractive than the other (disclaimer before people jump on me!! I KNOW this is wrong and would NEVER vocalise this to anyone but we ALL think like this, it's completely normal!)

So, AIBU!?

YABU

This is not a stealth boast but I think I’m a lot better looking than my partner. He’s very handsome to me, but with regards to what the opposite sex think... I’m better looking as a woman than he is as a man. It’s been that way with almost every man I’ve dated (bar one who was a physical Adonis but fuller than dishwater).

But I think that’s because I go for personality over looks, obviously I have to find them sexually appealing but I find that the stereotypically good looking men I’ve met (6ft tall, toned, chiseled good looks) tend to know and act like they’re good looking if that makes sense?
I know a few of my very beautiful friends feel the same way and have husbands/partners not as physically good looking as them.

However I am yet to meet a very good looking man who isn’t with a 10/10 woman. I think women are less shallow in general and look deeper than appearances.

duller than dishwater*

YANBU this is generally the rule.

I think my husband is more attractive than me. He’s never thought he was that attractive but people at work and friends comment on it All The Time. Even heterosexual men. I think if he thought he was gods gift I wouldn’t have found him attractive at all. I look after myself and am reasonably attractive but I doubt all his colleagues rush to tell him how sexy I am when I leave a room...it doesn’t bother me though.

Yanbu I have always thought this

@SolsticeBabyMaybe do you want to expand?

Depends. I definitely think DH is much better looking than me! I guess it depends what people generally consider attractive, as what one person might think is attractive another will not, regardless of their own appearance IMO

I think you are wrong - wealthy, powerful, alpha males attract a far better quality of mate - lets face it Bernie Eccleston or Donald Trump is not going to be married to the equivalent of Nora Batty. (There will be anomolies to this eg the Macrons) but by and large there is more to it than equal looks.

To put it bluntly, women will (generally) look for a good provider to bring home the bacon, and a man will look for a pair of ripe overies.

YANBU.

I have often looked around large gatherings of friends and tried to imagine whether, if I didn’t know any of them, I could pair them up correctly. I reckon I could the majority of the time.

It’s big just attractiveness but also what they wear and how much attention they seem to give to their appearance. Obviously you’ll find someone who spends hours a day on their hair and picking outfits with a slob every now and then but I think by and large you don’t.

Unless the man is rich or powerful. Then that throws the relative attractiveness out the window and they can score a much hotter woman.

In general yes but while i have seen v good looking women with not so good looking men I have only once seen a v good looking guy with a not so good looking women. Even in that case she was v overweight so assume she was thin when they met.
Plus there are far more good looking women to good looking men
I think wealth plays a part. I was certainly far better looking than my spouse when we met but he wealthy which I suppose balances things out. he could attract a better looking person than a poor person with the same looks

In USA I have often seen couples who are out of synch with each other looks-wise. Either female with stunning looks and figure with an overweight plain man or vice-versa.

In the UK they always seem more evenly matched.

I am much better looking than my partner but he is a much better person generally than me

@Hedgehogblues same here 😂 my DP is a much nicer, kinder, calmer and more patient person than me

Totally true - though of course when couples have been together a long time one may, well, age better, than the other.

When I watch First Dates and I see them pair a couple where one is so obviously more attractive than the other always scream at the telly “why would you do that” as I actually feel it’s mean

I was better looking when we got together 20 years ago. I was younger than him and slimmer. Now I have got old and fat and he has aged well, so I think he looks better now, or maybe evenly matched.

I find this such a weird thing to think about. But perhaps it's more about the amount people care about appearance etc? If you're the kind of person who really takes pride in your appearance and puts lots of effort into looking groomed etc you will generally come across as quite attractive. In turn you'll probably have a kind of minimum standard of grooming you'll accept from a partner. But if you're the kind of person who thinks that kind of stuff is a waste of time you probably aren't going to be attaracted to someone who spends hours coming their beard or whatever, at least to me I would worry that the person was high maintenance or shallow. Plus someone who cares about their appearance to that extent wouldn't look twice at me, they would probably despair at my unbrushed hair, unconcealed spots etc.

I agree, pretty much all of my friends are evenly matched, height and build wise too.

According to Dr House, 4s marry 4s, 9s marry 9s etc, unless if there is money or some other factor involved. I do think that there is some truth in that. There will be exceptions but most of the time people stick to roughly their own league I think.

I have known two couples where the man was much more attractive than the woman, sufficiently so for it to be a matter for comment. However, both men were pretty vapid, a bit wet and lacking personality, where their wives had a lot more about them. Given that personality lasts and looks don't, I think the women were better off.
I am a lot better looking than DH, but he's sexy and funny, and has a good figure so his looks don't matter.

I’m way better looking than DP, he pulled me because he’s a real charmer and is loaded but I fell in love with the amazing person he is inside, he’s the sexiest man alive to me.

YANBU. Though my DH is better looking than me, he doesn't think so though which I guess helped me! We're not vastly different but he's "good looking" and I'm "average", imho.

On balance yes.
I was probably slightly better looking when we met but in age the gap has widened. Not that long ago a somewhat drunk woman at a party said to my wife how lucky she was to have a toyboy. We are the same age!

I freely admit I'm punching well above my weight with my DP - he is very handsome, dark tanned and dark eyed, I'm a chubby 5/10 in good light from a flattering angle. God knows what he sees in me but I'm just happy he sees something 😂😂

Seen a few really ugly men with quite attractive women. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess