Most people are evenly matched to their partner in the looks department?

[TwinkleWings]

And I know beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder and not the be all and end all, people's personalities make them more attractive etc etc but AIBU in thinking that the majority of couples are around the same level of attractiveness? So super hot woman would more than likely have a super hot husband and on the other end of the spectrum an "ugly" man would have an "ugly" wife? (for what it's worth I don't think there are many people in the world that are on either end of this spectrum. Most of us sit somewhere in the middle. Also have used the word ugly in speech marks because I don't really like using it)

Do you think that is true for your relationship? I do for mine. We're not bad the pair of us - neither would make a model but I'm fairly happy with my features and I would say DH was with his. I'd say we were very evenly matched and people wouldn't be shocked that we were a couple.

Occasionally, I've met couples and been so shocked that they are together because one of them will be much more attractive than the other (disclaimer before people jump on me!! I KNOW this is wrong and would NEVER vocalise this to anyone but we ALL think like this, it's completely normal!)

So, AIBU!?

In USA I have often seen couples who are out of synch with each other looks-wise. Either female with stunning looks and figure with an overweight plain man or vice-versa.

How odd I've never noticed this. The couples I see in NY are generally about equal in attractiveness.

YANBU.
When DH and I met, we were unmatched because I was slimmer, and really quite pretty. At that time I attracted a lot of rich men with nice jobs and lives.

DH seemed like a nicer person who I could build a life with, though quite plain in his appearance.

10 years on, I've put on about 6 stone, and he has grown into his looks- hes really quite handsome, people are often shocked because he has a nice job, earns a lot of money, and whilst hes of a large build, hes not fat, but I am and i look God awful for it.

I've seen a few men with women who aren't as good looking as them. One has just left his wife and his girlfriend is more attractive than him, but he has quite a bit of money.

They've done studies, astoundingly! And similar good-lookingness correlates with longer relationships. I think possibly because people are given the message that they 'deserve' as attractive a partner as possible. Hence why rich less attractive men like Ed Sheehan and Donald Trump think they deserve 10s.

I'd gone out with nondescript looking men and head-turners and generally the former were better partners. Except DH who is gorgeous and lovely.

I don't know, i see a lot of attractive women with men that are better suited under bridges

I wouldn't lump Ed Sheeran and Donald Trump in together - Ed married an old school friend he'd known forever, and although she's a lovely looking girl, she's no high maintenance supermodel type.

The caring for your appearance thing, I look after my skin, dress well, look after myself nails always done etc., my dp does nothing he's a slob with absolutely no regard for looks and I love him for it, I can't bear a vain man.

I was always more attractive than my ex partners but this was a conscious decision from my low self esteem - ie they'd never be able to leave me for someone more attractive because they wouldn't be able to attract them.

Over the years I've put on 5 stone and look a bit knackered if I'm honest. My current partner is younger, a hell of a lot slimmer than me but a similar 'rating' in the looks department. He seems to think he's punching above his weight which I think is laughable.

What I've noticed over the years is that the women tend to be slightly more attractive than the men they are with, but nothing too extreme.

Ed married an old school friend he'd known forever, and although she's a lovely looking girl, she's no high maintenance supermodel type.

His girlfriends have all been more physically attractive than him. Anyway, just an example. We all know rich, successful men date more attractive women than themselves.

I totally agree.

I think women in a relationship are generally better looking than their male partner and this often becomes more obvious as they get older.

I think women are more insecure about their looks than men as a general observation and so tend to go for a less attractive man than themselves.

I would say you are wrong and its a mix. I have seen loads of women with less attractive men, but they are super successful and charismatic, which women find attractive. And some more attractive men with less attractive women, where I was actually surprised they were together (I am talking about fit good looking man w a very frumpy chubby partner). And then I see some couples matched in looks department.

When DH and I met I think we were about even - both fairly attractive. 7 years later we have children, I've not had a full night sleep in 3.5y and have no time or money or energy to take care of myself properly so I'd say he's now considerably better looking than me. I'm hoping once kids are at school and I can go back to work I can somehow miraculously make the effort to become gorgeous again

I guess it depends whether I've spent ages trying to look hot or not. I would say me and DP are evenly matched but on a night out he is often told he is "punching" but if I'm wearing standard clothes and dont do my hair/makeup no one would ever say that!

I think we all age differently too.. me and sh are in our 40's.. I think we are both better looking than we were when we married .. some people get fat and bald but their spouses still love them .. often you will see a mismatched pair but then see their wedding pics and realised they were equally matched at their wedding .

Generally, yes, I think it's true.

Mrformerbabe is very good looking, I used to be alright too hence the username.

He's aging better though

Most couples I see are roughly even levels of attractiveness. Usually one person is slightly better looking but it's incredibly rare you find someone very unattractive with an incredibly good looking spouse, unless other factors like money, fame or power are in play.

I noticed the USA thing when I went through my watching 'say yes to the dress' phase.

The women were always much more attractive than the men.

I'm not sure that's an accurate sample of people though because that programme always made it obvious the guys were loaded.

Most of my friends seem to be fairly evenly matched to their partners in looks, it's historically been me who has pulled people way out of my league. I do sometimes look at people on the street and wonder what they're doing together, but then I suppose not every pair of strangers you see together is necessarily a couple.
My boyfriend thinks he's ugly and is convinced he's punching above his weight with me, whereas I think we look really well matched and quite similar in some ways, as we're both carrying about the same amount of extra weight, with identical colouring. He's beautiful to me anyway, which is all that counts.

Is it just me or have you noticed that many couples are the same type (could be siblings)?

Hence yanbu.

My ex was a 5 and he left me because he managed to swing an 8/9

I think his insecurities said more about him than anything

I’m on mat leave (waiting for baby to arrive) so I’ve been watching a lot of box sets lately, and I’ve noticed that on TV, especially American sitcoms, men seem to get unrealistically attractive women - but not the other way round.

So for example - Friends. Ross dates a string of unbelievably attractive women that are way out of his league - Carol, Rachel, Mona, Charlie, Elizabeth, etc. And Chandler marries Monica, who is obviously stunning.

Also, I’ve been watching Big Bang Theory. Howard marries Bernadette - could she be any further out of his league in the looks department?! Meanwhile Leonard, who’s short and balding, dates Penny, Priya, Alex, Alice - all absolutely gorgeous.

I don’t really know what my point is but it just struck me yesterday!

Usually the wife is much better looking than the husband, I very rarely see it the other way round. Most men are butt ugly in my opinion.

When you reach middle age though, one of the couple will usually look a lot better than the other.In my friendship group, the females all look great, the males are overweight, pot bellied, bald, wear glasses and tend to look older and miserable.

I think that generally, in the UK, this is true. The country I originally come from it is less true and couples are far more mixed, although I don't really know why.
Me and my DH I would say are about the same and so are the majority of couples I know. Although a couple of posters have said that when they have gone out with guys who are less attractive than them they have been more interesting and treated them better than guys who are more attractive whereas I've actually found the opposite. The partners who have treated me badly and cheated on me were all men who people quite openly said were not all that attractive, I think for them there was a mix of control because they knew this as well as not believing their luck if another woman looked their way.

My dh is very good looking, he was when we met but I was nice looking too (because people told me I didn't think I was all that).
Now 20 years later he's still very good looking and I am a lot fatter than I used to be! My face is still more or less the same. If I was thinner I'd be better looking I think.

Hahaha not being unreasonable.

I think he same and yes my partner is a pretty boy so id say he is a match :D

were 2 INFJS too