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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child benefit - who should claim?

91 replies

Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 06:38

Hi Duplicate post for traffic

Im separated from my husband, DS is 2. The child benefit is in my name but since split in nov my ex has forced me to send him half child benefit. Past 2 months I've not sent it as I needed the money. Hes now demsnding half & threatening to counter claim.
Ds is with me 4/7 nights, ex 3/7. I earn £38,000 ex roughly £19, 000. I pay all childcare costs, receive no maintenance. I live alone, ex lives with his dad.
Please can anyone give me an indication of what the child benefits people may decide?
I called them but they would only say that they would look at it when he makes a counter claim.

Aibu to keep child benefit?
Thank you in advance

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 09/07/2019 06:42

Resident parent gets child benefit.

kimlo · 09/07/2019 06:45

you should because you have them more.

Don't give him half.

Jimdandy · 09/07/2019 06:45

I’d say you as you have him one more night a week and it’s not quite 50/50.

If you were amicable it would be in your interests to let him claim tax credits/universal credits for the childcare as he earns less, you’d get more but then you’d have to trust him to pay the childcare as well.

He should be paying the childcare on his days.

Thehop · 09/07/2019 06:45

You’re the resident parent I assume in which case you keep it.

Put a maintainence claim in with CMS.

feathermucker · 09/07/2019 06:46

Is there anything set down legally as to the care arrangements?

It's almost a 50/50 split so I'm not sure you'd get much maintenance and this arrangement might also affect the CB claim.

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 09/07/2019 06:46

Well surely he owes you maintenance for the extra nights you have with the child? So how far would his portion (not half) of the child benefit go towards that?

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 09/07/2019 06:46

You have him the extra night so that should make you the resident parent.
Do you use your address for ds doctors/nursery etc? That would also make you resident parent as it’s ds’ main residence.
Child benefit is not means tested so your differing incomes won’t come into account

C0untDucku1a · 09/07/2019 06:48

Sounds like he is wanting the child 50/50 but paying 0 of the costs! This is not a reasonable split! Give him nothing. Childcare on his days is his responsibility.

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 06:55

Thank you all
Yes we use my address for gp & will be used for schools.
He believes we are 50/50 and therefore he should get half child benefit.
No legal orders in place.

OP posts:
mrssoap · 09/07/2019 06:57

You should claim as you have the child more than half the time. Simple and that's how they would see it in court. Your income being higher than his is irrelevant.

timeisnotaline · 09/07/2019 06:57

I’d say when he starts paying 40% of childcare you’ll happily share.

Howyiz · 09/07/2019 06:58

Do you pay childcare for the entire week or just the days you have the child?

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 06:59

Thanks everyone, im shaking im so anxious of seeing him this morning, hes a massive bully & i really want to try to stand my ground.

OP posts:
Howyiz · 09/07/2019 06:59

If you do then I would agree that he can have half child benefit but he must pay half childcare costs.

TheBrockmans · 09/07/2019 07:00

School places often go with where the CB is and they want to see the letter. If you want the school near you then you need CB.

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:12

Thank you, im terrified he will try to take ds more if i don't give him the child benefit, but im struggling with all the costs :-( thanks for all your comments.

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 09/07/2019 07:15

If it wasn't for the childcare costs, I would say that splitting it 3/7:4/7 would be reasonable. But the fact you pay the childcare costs for his days will outweigh his proportion of the CB.

Do bear in mind, though, that if he supports the DC 3/7 on his salary, he will be struggling. His salary is half of yours, but you are doing a near 50:50 split.

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:18

He lives with his dad, hes definitely not struggling & has zero childcare costs.
Do you think i should send him half?

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 09/07/2019 07:31

Does your son go to childcare on your exes days, or does the grandad look after him?

If he goes to nursery on those days, the ex should be paying not you. You could say you're going to pull him out of nursery on those days and it would be ex's responsibility to sort childcare when he's in charge.

Once that's sorted then I would split the CB and give him 3/7ths .

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:34

He goes to preschool one of exs days & one of mine. He would pull him from preschool but i dont think thats in ds best interests, i have a thread about it somewhere will see if i can find it to link - but there are issues as ex refuses to take ds to preschool as he was asked in the car park why he was there! I worry pulling ds from preschool would be a set back for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:37

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/3575182-Advice-exh-ds-preschool-issue

OP posts:
MustardScreams · 09/07/2019 07:37

Men like this piss me off endlessly. All this stress for £40 a month.

Tell him if he wants half to take you to court. They will laugh him out of there.

Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:39

Thats why i have caved in the past & paid him half, as its so little to argue about.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justme1981 · 09/07/2019 07:40

But equally doesnt seem right ...
Anyone have any idea what would happen if he counter claimed?

OP posts:
Tallgreenbottle · 09/07/2019 07:41

He has him 3 nights, give him £32. But put it towards the childcare on his days and document it.

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