To not understand why people on here are so rude?

[Gre8scott]

Ive just read 3 different posts from people asking advice and everyone of them have received really rude and cutting replies. No nice advice or support just seems people on here come here to be assholes.
So AIBU not understand why people are so rude?

I don't know but they were probably the bullies in school.

There’ll be loads of people come on here and defend it as ‘straight talking’ but no, YANBU.

Rude and PC to the max. Someone can post about something heartbreaking/difficult to write/upsetting etc, and the first 10 replies will be just one-liners telling them off for being disablist for saying ‘idiot’ or something, or nitpicking their grammar.

It’s not the place it used to be. But I think people in general are much ruder and less kind since the advent of social media.

I agree op. As to why I have no idea. All I know is that happy people are not mean.

I think some people ask their questions in such a way that gets others backs up though. I am always a bit shocked that people who are supposedly seeking support, open the dialogue by putting others down, it really isn’t necessary.

Art reflects life, I'm afraid. People suck.

Because it's an anonymous forum and they can hide behind their keyboards. They can disguise bullying by saying it's an opinion and you shouldn't post online if you don't want to hear opposing views.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, of course, but some people definitely just thrive on being nasty and that's why they come on here. I think a lot of them enjoy making other people feel terrible especially when the OP is clearly vulnerable. They get a kick out of it.

I think there are far more nice members than there are nasty ones but unfortunately the nasty ones are the ones who stand out.

AIBU is the bunfight topic, it's not for asking advice. But people post here "for traffic" when they'd get much better support in a more appropriate forum.

Some people use forums as a lightening rod to discharge their anger/frustration from real life. Or they are looking for a bun fight, or have a very blinkered world view and genuinely can't fathom they are not always right.

Also bare in mind some posters may have some form of mental illness, such as PND or PPP. They may not be fully grounded in reality. When I had severe PND I was not thinking rationally all the time, was very irritable and had little contact with the outside world. I was argumentative and overly involved on here.

People are often disinhibited on forums. I just ignore rudeness and try not to engage with posters who are looking for an outlet for anger.

Unhappy people will always try to pull others down, and on this forum, you're hidden behind a keyboard.

Lots of people think it’s clever or ‘cool’ to be rude.

YABU if you read other topics you will see normal replies but AIBU has become the catch all and the replies are typical.

Because the world is full of rude people unfortunately.

It's like when people get into cars. Otherwise reasonable people become aggressive and impatient when they have this anonymity.

AIBU is the fight club topic.

You'll get very different responses if you post in a more specific topic.

I'm starting to think MN should explain better what AIBU is.

I think some posters are v young - so, as is the case quite often when you are a teenager, have a very insistent tone and state facts as you see them, rather than having experienced life and seeing both sides of the argument.
But threads move very fast and it is simpler to state your view without pussyfooting around stating sentences of sympathy and understanding first.

It's a nasty, pathetic pastime for them and gives them some kind of deviant pleasure.

Frustration. There are certain situations described on here time and time again that will really irritate cynical/hardened people who can see that with a bit of planning or critical thinking it could have been avoided.

As far as I can see, common themes that will receive snappy responses include: Women who accept crappy behaviour from lazy partners yet insist that they’re a ‘great dad’, SAHM’s who don’t insist on marriage, women who have children in obviously shit relationships, women who get into relationships very quickly without regard to their children and women who have children they can’t afford.

"Calling out a goady fucker" - or having a go at someone with a different opinion - is a reason given often.

I have noticed a couple of patterns. If the OP is in anyway judgemental or includes a dodgy semtence/phrase/word, then the rest of the OP is ignored and that one aspect is picked on. The attitude seems to be that the OP has shown themselves to be judgmental/nasty so there is licence to be doubly judgemental or nasty to them.

Also posters are sheep and the first couple of posts set the tone. After that the rest pile on in either aggression or sympathy.

Another point is that some posters are heavily involved in the whole woke internet scene and pour scorn on others who aren't. I guess it's a way of showing their superiority.

The people on here who say “AIBU is the fight club topic - post somewhere else if you want a reasoned reply”

Wow, really?

Anything is what we make it. No one said AIBU has to be about a verbal kicking.

Don’t defend such nonsense. AIBU could easily be a reasoned forum where people are firmly but fairly guided.

But don’t let me spoil the bullies’ fun...

YANBU - was thinking the same thing last night

As far as I can see, common themes that will receive snappy responses include: Women who accept crappy behaviour from lazy partners yet insist that they’re a ‘great dad’, SAHM’s who don’t insist on marriage, women who have children in obviously shit relationships, women who get into relationships very quickly without regard to their children and women who have children they can’t afford.

This pattern of behavior has presumably been happening since the beginning of time (before the internet anyway) and is painful for anyone going through it. Just because some posters have witnessed it multiple times doesn't mean that they should be rude due to "frustration".

You could say 'why are sone people so sensitive'?It's a public place, filled with anonymous strangers. I don't think you should have any expectation that everyone will be nice. It isn't a therapy group.

Yes, some people are a bit nasty. But tone of voice is notoriously difficulf to pick up in writing, and some people will read something as rude when it's just not fluffy and dressed up with waffle.

Also, I think if you are asking for help, you have a pretty strong obligation to get your spelling and grammar right - not doing so is incredibly rude. It really isn't difficult.

I find the overtly PC posters more eye-roll inducing than the goady ones.

I posted a thread once about my arsehole in-law grandfather. Cue lots of 'oh but he's old' or 'you're a horrible person he could have dementia'.

Just because he's old it excused him for being utterly selfish and sexist. MN went to town flaming on that thread! Another day and the replies may have been less rude though, it's funny like that.

Because they are shit heads.

I used to think stay away from AIBU because it is full of snippy remarks and posters trying to out do each other for rudeness, But unfortunately it spills across to other topics.

On these tedious goady threads, which recur with monotonous regularity, I ALWAYS tell the OP to fuck off in very childish terms and it ALWAYS get deleted.

Don't know why I bother.

shakes head ruefully