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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why people on here are so rude?

85 replies

Gre8scott · 09/07/2019 06:20

Ive just read 3 different posts from people asking advice and everyone of them have received really rude and cutting replies. No nice advice or support just seems people on here come here to be assholes.
So AIBU not understand why people are so rude?

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/07/2019 17:07

Me either Ursula I read posts. I don't read the postres name. If I do it is because I am trying to follow their train of thought in consective posts. But there are very few posters whose name, ideas and oponions I remember from day to day.

And most of the ones I did recognise from very specific topics no longer post here.

familycourtq · 09/07/2019 17:22

I blame Brexit, or Trump. Or is it both?

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 09/07/2019 17:29

If someone's being a dick head, telling them they're not being a dickhead is as helpful as a plaster on an axe wound.

LittleGwyneth · 09/07/2019 17:33

The fat legs one was a classic of the genre. Lots of angry people taking the chance to answer as nastily as possible, lash out and hurt a stranger, and then defend it as 'just being straight talking'.

Bourbonbiccy · 09/07/2019 17:39

I think some people just like being goady and trying to get a rise out of people. Being rude is just so unnecessary, but some people simply just don't know how to clearly articulate their opinion without swearing, getting angry and being rude.

The first sign of people "loosing" their debate and the personal insults start, which just how weak their point is and destroys the site (IMO)

I think the site has changed massively as AIBU is just taking over really, where I think some really interesting debating has just been ruined by people being rude, and the other topics do not seem to have as much discussion or help as people don't want to have to deal with these sorts of people, which is a shame.

Bourbonbiccy · 09/07/2019 17:41

I think while it was used for many other topics, it is now so far removed from a support network for mums, it is unrecognisable.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 09/07/2019 17:44

It can get really horrible here. I buggered off for a couple of years and came back with a NC after being basically told on a thread that I was lying and making up my examples. It wasn't even on AIBU, but it was a contentious topic.

I came back because sometimes the debates are interesting, and the advice can be very good. But some posters need to get over themselves and experiment with being civil to people they don't agree with.

Though, of course, there is the odd time when 'Fuck off' is the only sensible response.

JacquesHammer · 09/07/2019 17:52

I buggered off for a couple of years and came back with a NC after being basically told on a thread that I was lying and making up my examples

Does it matter if a faceless entity on a forum thinks you’re lying though?

I think the first rule of the internet is assume everyone is lying Smile

Onetraumaatatimeplease · 09/07/2019 17:53

I reckon the real nasty and rude ones are the type of people who wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life. So to make themselves feel better about that they reply to posts in a way that they wish they could. My mum used to tell me to pity the bullies because they had bigger issues going on in their own head.

Toohotformyliking · 09/07/2019 18:17

Because they're anonymous and can get away with it. I don't think it's just AIBU either. It's definitely spread to other topics.

Sweetpearose · 09/07/2019 18:17

I agree, so many sanctimonious and rude people on here!

Archie1411 · 09/07/2019 18:22

I think the clue is in the forum title. People are asking for vindication of their own poor behaviour or outrage. One persons rudeness is another's straight talking

ALongHardWinter · 09/07/2019 18:31

I agree. I made a totally innocuous (IMO) remark on another thread yesterday,and had not one,but two,snipey responses to it. It puts me off saying anything.

Thump · 09/07/2019 18:39

You have the highly sensitive ones. They will report your posts in a vengeful manner.

Then you have the morning grumps.
Then you have the evening drunks.
Then you have the 'straight talking' 'tell it like it is' cunts
You have the unsympathetic.
The downright rude.
People commenting from ivory towers.
The Prim and Proper.
The ne'er do wells.
The condescending pricks
The don't post if you can't take the advice sheep
The ones who only follow the trend of whatever has first been posted without thinking for themselves.
And about 1% of posters are nice, genuine, kind and helpful people.

I got a bollocking the other day for asking on a Love Island thread for asking whether someone was black or white in an attempt to identify a contestant they were talking about as I couldn't place him. Apparently that's not a pc question to ask......... Confused

It's really not a good place to come if you're mentally fragile sometimes. I have to say reading comments here towards me has affected my mood sometimes.

Thump · 09/07/2019 18:41

One persons rudeness is another's straight talking

No. One person's rudeness is pretty much guaranteed to be the other person being a cunt.

Bourbonbiccy · 09/07/2019 19:18

I buggered off for a couple of years and came back with a NC after being basically told on a thread that I was lying and making up my examples

Yeah I can see why people do that. It does matter if people are insinuating or just plain accusing you of lying, especially if people have come on here for support and are faced with abuse, it's just not kind.

ChopinIn10Minuets · 09/07/2019 22:23

My suspicion is that AIBU is the MN equivalent of Jeremy Kyle. People only come on here to watch the arguments.

The MN so-called moderators need to start being a bit more proactive with removing some of the more outrageous posts. At the moment it looks like a free-for-all with MNHQ wringing their hands uselesssly

NeverGotMyPuppy · 09/07/2019 22:41

I completely agree and I think a lot of the time PPs disagree just for shits and giggles
There was a thread ages ago about a poster going to a colleagues wedding. It was miles and miles away and she was asking if a bottle of champers was enough as a wedding gift. The general consensus was not she was being tight. Literally at the same time another OP was bemoaning the fact that her family had given her shitty wedding gifts- less value than a bottle of champers. She was told she rude, entitled, grabby- the usual epithets. I believe the second one made it to the DM.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 09/07/2019 22:47

@Thump I'm exactly the same. I deregistered and came back but I've taken some beatings on here and whilst some were probably deserved some really werent and I did have to step back and remind myself that MN isnt the end word on being correct. My worst one was being asked by a PP if I would abort a child based on its eye colour. I had posted advice about taking the MAP. Thankfully ines able to see it was their issue not mine.

Lougle · 09/07/2019 22:50

Tone gets lost in text.

S1naidSucks · 09/07/2019 22:51

I ended up reading your list in a rhyming tone, Thump. 😁

Thump · 09/07/2019 22:53

Ye, people spit stuff out here. They don't seem to realise that someone is reading it!

DizzyMerry · 09/07/2019 23:01

I agree. You get some nasty posters on here all falling over themselves to top the previous posters nastiness. Then when called out they dress it up as ‘straight talking’. No it’s not! It’s rude, nasty and uncalled for. It’s keyboard warriors and I bet they wouldn’t dare to say these things to someone’s face in real life but can get away with saying it anonymously.

DizzyMerry · 09/07/2019 23:01

100% in agreement with ‘Thump’. They have it spot on.

Mysterian · 09/07/2019 23:32

So I took @Thump's list...

To start you have the morning grump
Who's just woken up with the great big hump.
The ne'er do wells, the downright rude
The prim and proper type of prude.
People commenting from ivory towers
Drunkards posting in the early hours.
The condescending pricks nagging for hours on end
The ones who simple follow the trend.
The oversensitive who'll report your post
But the ones that I hate the most
Are the "straight talkers" putting it blunt.
They're a special type of cunt.
Try to ignore those posters and put the out of your mind
Because 1% are genuine, helpful and kind.

Swipe left for the next trending thread