To not understand why people on here are so rude?

[Gre8scott]

Ive just read 3 different posts from people asking advice and everyone of them have received really rude and cutting replies. No nice advice or support just seems people on here come here to be assholes.
So AIBU not understand why people are so rude?

Good God, do we really need variation 312 on this theme?!

Yes SOME people are rude. Either call them out on it or, if you don’t feel comfortable doing so, report the post instead. Don’t add the umpteenth thread saying ‘Why was the lady nasty mommy?’

I think the problem on AIBU is some people can't handle being disagreed with. They're forced to ask "Am I Being Unreasonable?" when what they really want to say is "Everybody Tell Me I'm Right!"

@Mysterian Applausus!

Who wasn't taught spelling or grammar? or was not allowed to read books? this is 2019, not 1919. We've all had the same opportunities, it's just some people can't be arsed. You can easily tell the difference between someone posting in a second language and someone who just can't be arsed.

Deal with it on the thread.

Not by starting the zillionth 'isn't everyone horrible' thread (on which all the bitchy posters slag off, evidence-free, the whole of the rest of MumsNet)

the problem on AIBU is some people can't handle being disagreed with. They're forced to ask "Am I Being Unreasonable?" when what they really want to say is "Everybody Tell Me I'm Right!"

I think that they might handle it a bit better if the disagreement were more politely expressed rather than an aggressive pile-on. It’s clear that people who post are not interested in actually changing OP’s mind, they just want the thrill of sticking the boot in. If you were talking to someone in real life who expressed such a view (and I am excluding GFs from this) you would be much more subtle and empathetic in trying to win them round to your way of thinking.

RedSheep73

We've all had the same opportunities
No we haven't, not even close.

it's just some people can't be arsed
Or they have dyslexia or learning difficulties or their education was lacking for whatever reason, maybe someone didn't get to go to university as they had to leave school at 15 to care for their elderly.parents, maybe they could go due to poverty, maybe they didnt because they're not academically minded. So on and so on and so on.

You can easily tell the difference between someone posting in a second language and someone who just can't be arsed.
And can you tell the difference between dyslexia and can't be arsed?

You're talking utter bollocks.

Because it’s anonymous and people don’t have to conform to what is socially acceptable at all.

Sometimes it’s refreshing and sometimes it’s just downright mean.

Agreed, @Adverse.

Also, what often strikes me in real-life all-female group situatons is a real reluctance to challenge or to contradict -- women, of course are still socialised not to confront.

And if these things are done, it's often hedged around and softened with 'Well, obviously I don't know anything about x, but...' or 'You know best, of course, but I think I once read somewhere that...' WWI started in 1914/it's better not to feed your newborn soy sauce/it's not in fact unreasonable for your children's school's head to post a photo of your car in the school newsletter given that you've been asked on a daily basis all term not to park it across the entrance to the teachers' carpark and you keep saying 'I'll only be a minute'.

If that's what you're used to, someone telling you directly and without the requisite female softenings and self-deprecation could be quite a shock.

With:

RedSheep73: You could say 'why are sone people so sensitive'?It's a public place, filled with anonymous strangers. I don't think you should have any expectation that everyone will be nice. It isn't a therapy group.

Yes, some people are a bit nasty. But tone of voice is notoriously difficulf to pick up in writing, and some people will read something as rude when it's just not fluffy and dressed up with waffle.

Also, I think if you are asking for help, you have a pretty strong obligation to get your spelling and grammar right - not doing so is incredibly rude. It really isn't difficult."

and

RedSheep73: "Who wasn't taught spelling or grammar? or was not allowed to read books? this is 2019, not 1919. We've all had the same opportunities, it's just some people can't be arsed. You can easily tell the difference between someone posting in a second language and someone who just can't be arsed."

can we concluded the "strong obligation" doesn't relate to replies? Or maybe RedSheep73 being subtly ironic. If not, it's a shame she didn't explain why, as it would answer the OP.

(Personally I don't care about incorrect SPAG on message boards. (They are rarely so bad it makes the post incomprehensible.) Though in posts critical of others mistakes they are amusing!)