To tell young male work colleague...

[dinoslippers]

To stop with the sexual innuendos as they're making me uncomfortable. I don't know how is best to handle this situation, small office, no hr based on site and line manager is a bit wank in all honesty and never around to hear anything.

He is 20 and has an awful professional manner, which I think is why I guess I'm holding back because a part of me keeps telling myself it's his first proper job, he's young don't be too harsh etc.

But the other part of me thinks fuck him, he shouldn't be in a professional environment if he can't behave accordingly. Few examples...

Mentions his "large" penis several times in a serious way
Shut the door on the small storage room I was in and blocked my exit saying "you're mine hahaha". I actually panicked and felt fucking terrified for a split second.
I was mumbling to myself about something that had gone wrong and when he asked me I said "oh nothing I'm just moaning"....his response was oh you're moaning, well don't let me stop you followed with actual sex noises and well I don't mind hearing that.

It's making me so fucking uncomfortable, I have to refrain from throwing the printer in his fucking face every time I see the creep.

It's hard to explain but the lingering smirks and looks are just fucking odd. He stands in my personal space at every opportunity.

I have a mate who always used to make sexual remarks & jokes. He couldn’t help himself... I knew him well & didn’t like it, so I don’t know what others thought of him. Not sure if he did it at work, but I would be surprised.
He has a lovely girlfriend now, and doesn’t do it anymore. She deffo told him to stop!

wouldn’t, obvs...

What sort of a world is in 20219 that a twenty year old child can make a competent sensible adult woman feel as you did?

Twenty is absolutely not a "child". I work with teenagers andbbelieve me, some 16 year old males are capable of being very physically intimidating if they choose to be, so it is not surprising at all that OP felt threatened by being trapped in a confined space by an adult male. Being "sensible" and "competent" does not innoculate you against predatory behaviour and neither does it prevent the natural 'fight or flight' mechanism that kicks in when we feel we are under threat. It is well documented that victims of sexual harassment will often 'freeze' in these situations, this is a normal physiological response to feeling unsafe and not something that OP will have had any control over.

I have a mate who always used to make sexual remarks & jokes. He couldn’t help himself

He absolutely could help himself. As evidenced by the fact that he stopped when he got a girlfriend who disapproved of his disgusting behaviour. He was making a deliberate a choice.

That’s true, Minister. At the time he was kind of addicted to saying things! But it’s no excuse.

Great to know about the camera and that you feel supported!!! Thanks for reporting back! So sorry you have had to go through this in this century. Little arsehole thinks he’s Donald Trump!!!

What sort of a world is in 20219 that a twenty year old child can make a competent sensible adult woman feel as you did?

Twenty isn’t a child.

My 18-year-old is over a foot taller than me, considerably broader and much stronger due to rugby. If he cornered someone in that way I could absolutely understand them being frightened of him.

The problem with guys like this is that they can turn nasty very easily if you don't play their game.

I'm glad you are getting good support at your workplace and you definitely did the right thing in reporting him.

I dealt with such a co worker years ago in my first role, in the end a sharp “get the fuck out of my face, John” dealt with it and he wound his neck in, but it weeks of behaviour like you describe that led to that point. Definitely go to HR, as I wouldn’t want you in trouble for telling him to fuck off (but I mean... if you have to... make sure no one else is around )

What sort of a world is in 20219 that a twenty year old child can make a competent sensible adult woman feel as you did?*

I resent that statement, i’m in my early twenties however I’d been working for four years living alone for about the same by 20 and was completely financially independent. Many others are the same now (Or living with partners/in house shares with mates).

Also I have a brother who was 6ft 2 with a build to match at 16 or 17. He definitely could’ve intimidated a woman by behaving like a creep as well...

Oh dear, wtf is he thinking.
You're right to report, he must have grew up in a cave.

@dinoslippers well done. It's easy to feel like you're overreacting but you're not. It's no fun sticking your neck out but you've done the right thing

Who the actual fuck thinks a 20 year old is a child? The law certainly doesn’t! (Thank god!)

Who the actual fuck thinks a 20 year old is a child?
not a child, but completely immature in this case certainly.

Not ALL 20 year old are the same, but some are.

He is at WORK. He is not at the pub “bantering” with his buddies. He locked a woman in a room to sexually harrangue her. He can’t NOT know exactly what he is doing, and why the same rules apply to him as they do to everyone else. Everyone is taught this at school. He will have done some kind of dreadfully dull sexual harassment thing through HR as part of his induction. He should be nailed to his chair!

He can’t NOT know exactly what he is doing, and why the same rules apply to him as they do to everyone else.

you'd think... If you expect all employees to behave like responsible and professional adults you are in for a massive shock - the attitude can be absolutely astonishing, and not only for the 20 year old people!

SOME people can't even show a decent attitude at interviews.

Everyone is taught this at school since WHEN?

He will have done some kind of dreadfully dull sexual harassment thing through HR as part of his induction
I assure you that most of us don't! Never heard of them - I am sure it's a thing in some places, but not in any of workplaces I have been into.

Well done OP!

I like the sound of that manager too! 👍🏻

Keep us updated.

good work OP. I hope HR get on with sorting this out. You did the right thing!

Report him to HR, these aren't innuendos, but sexual harassment and bullying
You dont need to be stressed out and he needs to be officially told his behaviour is incorrect.

Well done on reporting OP, he sounds awful and I agree they have dealt with it very quickly which does give the impression they want him out as well. Keep up updated if you can.

Well done OP.

Hope the creep is thoroughly rattled.

Just sodding patriarchy at its worse... It's just bantz, right?

Disgusting behaviour, out him at once.

He Sounds like a dick. I would report.

Has anything improved for you @dinoslippers?