To tell young male work colleague...

[dinoslippers]

To stop with the sexual innuendos as they're making me uncomfortable. I don't know how is best to handle this situation, small office, no hr based on site and line manager is a bit wank in all honesty and never around to hear anything.

He is 20 and has an awful professional manner, which I think is why I guess I'm holding back because a part of me keeps telling myself it's his first proper job, he's young don't be too harsh etc.

But the other part of me thinks fuck him, he shouldn't be in a professional environment if he can't behave accordingly. Few examples...

Mentions his "large" penis several times in a serious way
Shut the door on the small storage room I was in and blocked my exit saying "you're mine hahaha". I actually panicked and felt fucking terrified for a split second.
I was mumbling to myself about something that had gone wrong and when he asked me I said "oh nothing I'm just moaning"....his response was oh you're moaning, well don't let me stop you followed with actual sex noises and well I don't mind hearing that.

It's making me so fucking uncomfortable, I have to refrain from throwing the printer in his fucking face every time I see the creep.

It's hard to explain but the lingering smirks and looks are just fucking odd. He stands in my personal space at every opportunity.

I hope today goes well. It's horrible working with someone like that. You end up walking on egg shells and you shouldn't.
I hope HR are decent and resolve it very quickly for you.

I put up with this sort of thing a lot in one workplace where the manager called it banter and looking back now I should have reported it out of the dept. One lads favourite line when he was hot was that he was ‘sweating like a rapist’ - the blokes thought he was hilarious. Don’t let this escalate.

I had a manager like this. Everyone who didn't have to work with him thought he was hilarious but nobody could say anything without it being turned into a sexual innuendo. I actually started to dread going to work. I was glad when he left.

Glad you're going to HR, hope it goes well

.

You're definitely doing the right thing by going to HR, hope it goes well.

“Right that’s enough or I’ll be reporting you to HR”

I would just tell him that his behaviour is completely inappropriate in the work place, that this is just a friendly and last warning before I make it a very official one.

Or tell his manager to do that themselves.

Good luck OP.

Shut the door on the small storage room I was in and blocked my exit saying "you're mine hahaha"

That’s direct and clear sexual harassment. Take this to your manager with a clear set of demands:

That if the manager doesn’t take this young lad aside and require him to conduct himself with respect towards all colleagues you will be making a sexual harassment complaint.

There’s more than enough evidence.

I’m 22 myself, and have worked with 20 year old men in various jobs, his behaviour isn’t normal. 20 year olds know what boundaries are, they don’t waffle on about sex to every random colleague etc, it’s not his age - it’s him

Email his manager and HR in the same mail. Don’t engage with him at all, I work in Hr and this behavior would not be tolerated.

Good luck op, smart move

Please report back and tell us how HR are handling this. He sounds kinda stalkery. (The staring thing. - Perhaps he's trying to be sexy, but he sounds creepy as hell.)

He doesn't deserve any more chances... He needs the firmest of treatment for his crappy frightening behaviour.

If I was his boss... I'd put him on a final warning and move him away from women...

Or more likely, sack him for his poor behaviour...

How did your chat with HR go OP?

I hope the discussion with HR went well and you are ok

HR called me and the conversation was fine, they were very nice and supportive. I've been told they are handling it, but are unable to disclose anything yet. Other more senior manager on site pulled me to one side to say that he's aware, they are working on it and if he breathes a word of inappropriate conversation to come to him immediately and he'll walk him off site himself. I also found out there is cctv near the storage room so his weird door slamming antics and my panicked exit will be on camera.

Feel relieved. Thank you MN!

So pleased & relieved to read your update dino

And I was pretty sad to read your opening post where the level of sexual harassment was so high (the storeroom incident on its own is enough) and yet you doubted yourself. I'm glad that talking it through here clarified it for you & you got the virtual support of many women - to a woman we saw how awful the situation was for you.

What sort of a world is in 20219 that a twenty year old child can make a competent sensible adult woman feel as you did?

We haven't solved the male entitlement & sexism problem. You were made to feel paranoid & inadequate. That is appalling.

So pleased that you've had your HR and manager come through for you (well, I never set much store by HR, bit crossed fingers here for you!)

I very much doubt the senior manager would have come up and said that if his reaction on hearing it hadn’t been to think thank goodness I’m sure that little prick deserves to be reported.

Twenty isn't a child good luck OP.

Bloody well done @dinoslippers.

It does rather sound like the senior manager was already aware of him and wants to get rid, doesn't it? I hope they continue to support you.

Good for you, OP. I'm glad you reported the bastard and that your work are being supportive.

I find it troubling how many posters here recognised that this mans behaviour amounts to sexual harassment but still advised you to only report him "if he does it again" (why on earth would anyone think this creep deserves another chance??) or to confront him yourself rather than going through the proper channels, which could have put you at risk.

He's not a kid on work experience. He is a fully grown sleaze bag.
This needs dealing with sooner rather than later.
In the first instance, in your shoes, I would ask him to stop the next time he says anything inapporpiate and say why. That would be his last chance. I would then escalate and report. In the meantime start making notes as far back as you can of things that have been said and done including approx time and location.

Nasty git, that he is.

I see you have have reported it.
Well done!!
Why people think this behaviour is ok is beyond me!