Annoyed with how OH behaved around my friend.

[Snookerwidow93]

I have a friend who is a beautiful lady, gorgeous figure and very attractive.

She comes round maybe once a fortnight for a cuppa and a catch up etc.

OH knows her dad well as they’re both in the same line of work so they’ll often have a natter about things whilst I’m out of the room.

I’ve noticed recently that when I’m in the room he’ll make a lot of sexual innuendos. For example, last week, my friend announced that she was moving house and that she wanted to re home her cat. She asked if we’d like it and my eyes lit up. OH then said ‘only if I get a blow job.’ Now this is something he’d usually say jokily to me in private but he looked over at my friend after he’d said it gauging her reaction. Like he’d said it for her benefit more than mine.

Today as I was leaving the house with said friend, he gave me a kiss and then grabbed my bum but looked over at my friend to see her reaction. I don’t get it. I’m pretty sure he’s attracted to her but why behave like that? It’s sleezy and disrespectful at best and down right degradation at worst.

He also seems to be very perceptive of her feelings- she’s been having a tough time with her MIL recently and she’ll openly chat to us both about it. He’ll sit and mention it after she’s gone and say how sorry he feels for her etc etc yet he’s never as perceptive of my feelings or as willing to listen.

It’s not the things he does when she’s around, it’s more the fact he does it then looks straight over to see her reaction, like he’s trying to impress her.

I will just mention that I gave birth to our second baby 6 weeks ago so perhaps I’m overly sensitive?

My friend has mentioned how he behaves before but just laughs it off. She’s noticed it though and he doesn’t behave like this around my other friends . .

He’s a disgusting pig. If I were her, I’d be mortified for you and wouldn’t want to come round to your house again. He’s a horrible sleaze.

CalmdownJanet

Completely agree with you. I’m sure she’s more uncomfortable than she’s letting on.

I’m a reasonably open person and not easily shocked. This is totally unacceptable though. He obviously has a crush and is trying to get her attention in an inappropriate way. Tbh, I’d be meeting your friend alone, away from the house, from now on. He needs a talking to as well cause his behaviour is just yuck

He’s creepy.

I think he’s hoping for a threesome.

It's a very caveman 'flirtation' technique, isn't it. 'I like sex, I do.'

Was the cat / BJ comment an attempted play on words i.e. you can have her pussy, so long as I get a BJ? Otherwise it's just a total non-sequiter (as well as crude and gross).

Ah, so the blow job comment, the mention you might be pregnant again... he's trying to be a peacock. 'Look at me, I like sex and am a virile man!'

Depending on how bothered you are, I think I'd point out the obvious and embarrass him first 'look DH, Mary and I have both noticed you have a crush on her but your comments make her uncomfortable when she calls over to see ME, so if you could avoid showing off when she comes over, that would be great'.

My dad's friends used to do that kind of thing, making comments about their wives, sex etc in front of me. I though it was disgusting then and made me really uncomfortable. I'm super sensitive to creepiness in guys as a result. Nip this in the bud OP before your children are old enough to understand. And your friend really, really doesn't like it. She's just being polite not saying anything negative about your husband.

Is your username an indication of your age?

If so, please don’t tie yourself to this pig for the rest of your life.

If not, please don’t tie yourself to this pig for the rest of your life.

Tell him his odd behaviour has been raised in conversation with your friends... and they (and you) are bemused as to why he’s sexually inappropriate in front of your friend. Then ask him straight to his face “why do you act like that?”

yuck! What vile man. Why have you had children with him?! he sounds like he has little respect for women.

She then mentioned the blow job comment. I’d actually forgotten about it until she mentioned it. She literally just laughed it off whilst my other friend seemed quite surprised that he’d behaved like thag

Eurgh. They most likely feel sorry for you for having a pervert as a partner.

You should feel EMBARRASSED.

Ew disgusting and i dont think your friend isnt bothered the laughing is probably nerves and she doesnt know what else to say

Hang on a second, you had "forgotten" the blow job comment until she mentioned it? You are seriously under reacting here and any mention of being annoyed is down to the fact he might have a crush on her. He may have a crush on her but because he is such a fucking creep she won't touch him anyway so doubt it will matter. You are totally under reacting to the fact he is disrespecting you, embarrassing you both, probably embarrassing your friend and making her uncomfortable, making a fool of you and an absolute tit of himself and risking your friendship.

Has it not crossed your mind that if he is like this around a pretty girl in front of you what he might be like when you aren't around?

Urgh you poor thing. My nightmare man. I am sorry for you.

I think the fact that I’m not really that arsed says a lot about where our relationship is going. I do love him but I guess you can grow apart etc. A few years ago, this would’ve revved me up no end and I’d have given him a hell of a time. It’s either we’re drifting a part or the fact that i trust my friend implicitly being the reason that this doesn’t bother me.

Hiw old is he? He sounds about 15.

He’s acting like he’s ‘showing off’ to his mates, but it’s weird when she’s a woman. If he’s hopinf for a threesome he’s not doing himself any favours with either of you with this caveman routine.

Just get him told that a yhreesome isn’t happening and that he’s embarassing your friend and if he doesn’t pack it in, you’ll show him up in front of his friends.

he was also making reference to the fact that I could be pregnant again today whilst my friend was present.

If I were your friend I'd make sure I was never in a room with him again. Yuck.

He’s 40 🤦‍♀️

YANBU. I think if it was me I’d present him with calm factually statements about what he did, and tell him not only was it really embarrassing to have him acting like a teenage boy giving it all the mouth, but that you also noticed your friend being polite but clearly uncomfortable.

Excuse all the terribly grammar and typos

He is testing the water to see what he can get away with.

Not someone I'd want to be with. Yuk.

I'd definitely call him out over it, in a cool, calm, collected bullet point, evidence laid bare kind of way

Omg this is awful I would go mental

@Snookerwidow93
I wouldn’t put up with that sleazy behaviour,
Very disrespectful behaviour...

How disrespectful and humiliating for you.

Have you challenged him OP?
I couldn't cope with this.