To think having a multi bulti millionaire in the family is tricky

[Swellerellamoo]

Without outing myself or family member a close relation but not immediate family, but same generation as me and siblings is a self made multi multi millionaire. He's also fairly famous and is in the news if relevant to his industry as a bit of a talking head etc. This means that while all the rest of the family are all ordinary working people with mortgages and rickety cars, he and his wife - who are lovely - spend the majority of their time travelling the world by private jet / helicopter for various functions / meeting world leaders etc.

So, we want to organise a family reunion but no one can afford for more than a fairly crap hotel for us to all fit. I guess they just have to suck it up or not come, if they can't bear the venue? They are really nice and we all love them and want them to be there. It's also nice hearing ritzy stories out of our ordinary. Were all really proud of him too - he's done amazingly. Its just a bit of a bizarre scenario for the rest of us and makes us all feel a bit awkward I think. Aibu to feel this way? Just wondering if others have experienced similar.

breakfastpizza That's nice, She must be happy there, she must have good supportive neighbours in the community.

Honestly if he loves everyone he’ll come. I had an uncle who made it industry and then went on to become prime minister in another county. He would always take time to see family. A very fond memory of mine was when he was on his state visit to the UK he still took the time to come out of meetings to come and had have a chat with my mum and me. My mum was his cousin. So don’t worry OP if he wants to do it he’ll do it.

Of course you should invite them they are family.
If they don't like the accommodation, or can't stay there for security reasons- they will book something fairly close by and get a driver or taxi to ferry them about.

We do this and we are by no means multi millionaires.

I think your relative would enjoy a bit of normal life and banter.
Just do a party which the whole family can afford.
It’s not like he’s going to demand a roped off VIP,section

Once you don't have a jealous begrudger trying to rile him into an argument with drink in them, it will be grand.

We have similar in the family. Unfortunately money has changed them. They pretty much won’t go to anything they feel beneath their standards, don’t even bother to reply to e.g. wedding/christening invites. They only see family on an individual one-to-one basis infrequently and on their turf, which means a cafe close to their house, not their home.

This also means to no invites for family, except their own children, to any events or parties they organize.

Puzzledandpissedoff Small anecdote: I once did a home exchange to Long Island and asked the neighbours in for drinks, only to learn later that the lovely guy was the chairman of the SEC (he'd merely said he "worked in investments").

One uni summer I went to work in a vair fancy investment bank (family friend got me a gig). Anyway, I was always running about on errands and I would often see the same man and would chitter chatter to him about nothing, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Didn't think much of it, just a nice man.

Yup, he was the MD who everyone feared and didn't speak to until spoken to etc. He even asked after me when I vanished at the end of summer! I did not make IB my career though, but with hindsight that would have been a gold dust contact to have had!

I think it's fine when the multi millionaire is the outlier, the bigger problem is when you are the only poor relation to a group of wealthy and super wealthy people and are unable to afford to go to their social events when invited, or they don't bother inviting you.

of course invite and work to your budget! I have stayed at super dooper luxury places, delivered by limo etc.mostly through work but sometimes personally paid for as we now are very well off. But our roots are WC and most of my family are still WC so we also go to parties at family houses, to Eurocamp, and Butlins with family as that's their budget.
It's the people who make the event not the place INHO.

I'm not a multi millionaire but I do go to plenty of functions in posh places - The Savoy, etc.

It doesn't mean I've forgotten what the inside of a normal local hotel looks like or I'll be horrified by it though!

Same with houses - I live in a lovely house now but that doesn't mean I'd be weird about visiting a friend in a small flat / bedsit / whatever.

If your newly wealthy relative can't join a family reunion on the basis that it's no longer up to his standards, they you know he's a twat and you're better off without him. It's pretty self-regulating, I would have though.

It really shouldn't make any difference, you organise your plans as normal.

They must be so used to people expecting them to pay, or trying to suck up to them, it must be lovely relief to be included like any normal person.
They are free to decline.

Look at home many posters who pretend they'd buy a more expensive wedding gift if the wedding if held in a more expensive venue. Don't be these people.

They can also make alternative arrangements depending on schedule, and only attend part of your event. No one is a twat because they can afford something better, and they have worked hard enough not to have to stay in not-so-great accommodation.

Invite like anyone else, and let them reply and organise themselves if they prefer an alternative. (and are free in the first place)

I think it's fine when the multi millionaire is the outlier, the bigger problem is when you are the only poor relation to a group of wealthy and super wealthy people and are unable to afford to go to their social events when invited, or they don't bother inviting you.

I agree that this would be more awkward.

To spend time with those you love OP will mean far more to everyone than any amount of money ever could....just have fun and enjoy being together...let them relax and enjoy it surrounded by their nearest and dearest and you do the same.....it will all be lovely if you do.

Just be who you are. He has known you all a long time and you him. I'm sure he loves seeing you all as he gets treated like an ordinary person amongst you. Please just love him as you always have, I bet he counts on it.

Rich doesn't equal snob you know, I don't understand why you think he wouldn't be able to bear a less expensive hotel than he is used to?

My SIL is VERY wealthy. For her hen do, she went to the Maldives with her friends. I organised a UK one with my side of the family to Blackpool! She loved it!

I think you're overthinking it. He's family! Just invite him and enjoy his company as I'm sure he does yours.

We also have a multi-millionaire in our close family and we don't really think about that side of him when we organise events, in fact we don't consider it all, and when he visits he's happy in the spare room like everyone else!

I dont see any problem here TBH. We too have wealthy relatives, who are fine about food / drink etc when they come over .There is no problem .They want to see their family !

You shouldnt worry about what he thinks.

He won't think anything other than he's getting to catch up with his family and should be happy that you all still want to hang out with him.

Make the provisional arrangements, hopefully he will want to "slum it" and perhaps treat his family to a round of drinks

so you'll invite him, but you think it will be an issue?

I had to part ways with a friend, partly because of her attitude to this kind of thing. She was very wealthy, through marriage. I am not wealthy, and she wouldn't even consider that we could go to the ballet and sit in the seats I could afford. She considered that a waste of money.

I didn't realise the ins and outs at the time, but when I first met her, I used to pay for friends to go somewhere like Pizza Express on my birthday. She always had an excuse and I realised it was because she wouldn't set foot in a place as low end as that!!!!!!!!

Just book it at the normal place. If they’re as nice as you say they are they won’t give a shit.

I had a friend at Uni who lived next door to Saatchi and Nigella (literally right next door) and took private jets everywhere and was thrilled one afternoon when I treated him to a panini at the sticky-tabled student union...because it was a lot of money for me! It doesn’t matter how much you have, for decent people human connection and generosity strikes a chord.

I'm the multi millionaire in my family. I'd be devastated if I wasn't invited because people were worried about how I'd "bear" the venue.

Travel Lodge is not that crap, is it?
I'm sure the sheets and the bathroom are washed.