To be worried about friend- are these behaviours ok?

[ValleyofCrows]

My friend has been acting strangely (IMO) over the past few months.

Her personality has remained the same but she has started behaving differently. When I have commented she either becomes defensive or brushes it off.

Some of the things are

1. When she wants a cold drink (can of pop) she takes it out of the fridge and puts it in the freezer for exactly 15 minutes (uses a timer) so it’s the right temperature.

1. Buys plastic containers and transfers food items from original packaging into tubs / containers which she will then label herself like ‘nuts’, biscuits, rice etc. Everything has to be facing the correct way so the label can be read as soon as the cupboard is opened.

1. Sets the table for breakfast the night before.

1. Won’t ever drive in to a parking space, always reversing despite that sometimes being more tricky.

1. Started carrying spare plastic bags in her hand bag in case she ‘needs’ them

1. Buys food for the whole family, but some items are ‘forbidden’ for everyone else e.g mini Aeros were not allowed to be eaten by anyone and hidden at the back of one of the cupboards and her daughter found them and ate some and was then accused of being a ‘thief’.

1. Everything is totally spotless and organised a certain way - books are arranged a certain way on the shelves so the tops create a an ‘even’ line of symmetry.

1. Started sewing bits of Velcro on the edges of pillow cases to keep them ‘shut’ when she sleeps on them.

There are probably lots of other things- is this normal?

I don’t think any of these behaviours are particularly unusual in themselves - the plastic bag thing, for instance, it’s surely more unusual for people to not carry a spare one around these days since shops have started charging for them?

But if these are all new behaviours that have all appeared at once then I can understand your concerns.
Especially if she’s getting defensive when they’re remarked on. If it was something as simple as she’s trying out ideas from a TV show / magazine / blog etc, surely she’d just say so?

Omg! I quite clearly state in the second sentence of my op that when I ask her about it she becomes defensive or brushes it off.

Why are people assuming I haven’t spoken or at least tried to speak to her about it?

This place is very frustrating- thank you to the people who responded to what I had written rather than jumped to wild conclusions or imagined what I had written.

Night

Also she started buying TV guides and high lighting in bright yellow what she wants to watch or record, but never really has an interest in TV programmes before- does anyone else do that?

That’s AIBU for you!

yes.. it's FUCKING ODD !?

I think suddenly doing all of these things all at the same time is a bit odd, but none of the things is odd in itself. I agree with PP that she has probably been reading some blog or something that has tips. I once read about putting a fancy candle in the freezer to make it burn more evenly/last longer (totally works) and my friend thought I was nuts when she saw me pull it out from amongst the frozen peas!

Sounds like she's on a get-your-life-in-order bender.

These are all more or less reasonable things (it's not as if she's started counting words, or washing her hands 50 times a day, or something like that). I wouldn't worry.

BumbleBee are you being sarcastic or genuinely think it’s odd, I’m not sure what’s normal anymore?

Maybe I’ve been lurking on Mumsnet for too long, that would drive anyone to question they’re own sanity!

Is this really about you, op, as it's getting silly now imo?

Agree with you. It is odd and she herself knows that something is not quite right, that’s why she gets her back up and gets all defensive when you question her.

It’s odd. I’d be concerned

Sunshine- 😂

The velcro pillowcase is a Mrs Hinch thing. I also wonder if she has been on too many organise your home type blogs

Also she started buying TV guides and high lighting in bright yellow what she wants to watch or record, but never really has an interest in TV programmes before- does anyone else do that

I do,but only at christmas. Done that since I was a kid

She hasn’t heard of Mrs hinch and doesn’t really use the internet

That's made me properly nostalgic!

I used to highlight programmes in the TV times, exactly like Stumpy, just over Christmas. Aw I haven't done it for years.

guess what I'm bringing back this Xmas

My parents do the highlighting thing. I reckon she’s secretly following a blog too.

Yes it's odd

I'm with you OP, if she'd always done them then it wouldn't be odd. If she's suddenly started to do them, it's a bit odd, especially as she seems really defensive about it.

Has she got a partner, or relative that you can speak to?

I have my own food which nobody is allowed to eat on pain of death.

They have their own crap don’t eat mine!

I have found that as I get older I have developed habits, and I don’t need to hide them. All my friends have little quirks which have emerged over the years.

I buy the same groceries every week and collect them at 8am every Saturday morning. I wash the bedding every Sunday morning. I need to be in bed before 10pm on week night or the next day is ruined. I too carry a tote bag in my handbag so I don’t have to buy plastic bags. Since I got Alexa I time everything!

I totally accept myself and my boring little quirks. I would have been shocked at myself ten years ago. Maybe your friend is just embracing getting older and doing things how she likes them.

How old is your friend, OP? What's her set-up? (DC, DH, work etc)

That might help shed some light, somehow.

Does she really not use the internet much? Apart from my DH's 94 year old grandfather, I can't think of anyone that doesn't use the internet.

Someone "not really using the internet" in this day and age is odder than all the other things tbh!

Yes, some of it sounds ott to me. But mainly it’s the change of behaviour that’s worrying. Is she anxious would you say?

Do you know she didn’t do these things ‘before. I mean i’m thinking of my dearest friend and I have no flipping idea if she velcro’s Her pillowcase or highlights her TV guide. Why would I 🤔 also you started the thread at 9pm ish and someone asks you if maybe she has been watching too much Mrs hinch and a mere few seconds later you are adamant she does not. I mean how do you even know? What an odd thread