Friend called me a selfish idiot?

[PrincipalVernon]

Apparently it was a half joke so I can’t be offended but I’m still a bit wide eyed.
Long (possibly boring) story short: we have bought a new house, we currently live in a small 3 bedroom and have bought a 4 bedroom which does have larger rooms throughout.
My friend was round for coffee and asked how it was all going so I told her we actually had an offer accepted etc.
She then said because I only have 1 child we were being selfish for buying a house where all the bedrooms won’t be used, I don’t know why but I felt myself trying to justify partly by saying that I work from home so one of the rooms would be an office, she then pointed out that we’d still have a spare and this was idiotic and unfair.
Am I missing something and being unreasonable for wanting a bigger house even though we won’t be adding to our family?

Jaw dropping. A half joke, oh that's all right then.

I think she's possibly jealous but can feel for her a bit right now. I'm in a crumbling, damp 2 bed mid terrace with no parking and feel like life's not moving on as I can't increase my working hours due to having a child with SEN, and we've just spent our nest egg on stopping the bathroom floor/kitchen ceiling from collapsing. Not the life I planned when I was at university.

In the meantime one of my oldest friends has moved into a 5 bedroom new build in a v expensive part of the county with her new (much older, very successful) boyfriend, she's semi-retired at 47, glamorous and generally living what looks like a fabulous life with him and a puppy (no children). Constantly checking in at airports on FB etc.

I'm ashamed I actually said "Oh fuck off!" to my empty front room when she visited last week, and I saw her pull up and park her 68 plate Mercedes next to my 12 year old Vauxhall.

But I do still love her really, it was just one of those 'walls closing in' moments.

Ahaha, what?? I can't believe she berated you for that. Totally jealous. ignore.

MairzyDoats
We built an extension on to our 2 up 2down..
With two adults and two kids, why shouldn't we?
I'm not sure I get your reasoning?

She's jealous! You can use extra bedrooms as guest rooms, a study, for storage, a walk in wardrobe etc.

Its not like you've bought a mansion and plan to live in one wing only!

Apparently it was a half joke so I can’t be offended

Oh, your 'friend' is delightful!
Gets to call you a selfish idiot, also gets to wriggle out of any consequences of name-calling by pretending it was a "half joke".

'Friend' is deliberately pissing on your parade. If she genuinely liked you, she'd be excited & happy for you - & looking forward to an overnight in one of your new spare bedrooms.

I would tell her thanks for the half joke, & she can half come round, i.e. get to fuck & not bother visiting your new gaff.

I would love to have a bigger house - currently living in two bed with tiny rooms throughout. However, I would not begrudge anyone being able to afford a larger property, more aspire to do the same. It sounds like a case of jealousy, so please don't let it bother you too much and get in the way of your friendship.

If she brings it up again ask her - equally "half jokingly" of course - where on earth she expects the butler to sleep if he can't have his own room. I mean, it's not like he can bunk with the skivvy on her mattress in the kitchens. Have you an attic? Oh please, please, have an attic you can confine a few parlour maids in.
I live alone & would move to a 4 bedroom house tomorrow & think I'd gone to heaven. Enjoy your new home

You could have told her that you were anything but selfish because you've put your smaller (and presumably cheaper?) house on the market so another family can get on the property ladder.
Your friend is just plain old jealous...

Clearly jealous, and honestly, if you were meant to take it as a 'joke', they sound like one of those bitter people who constantly 'joke' but are basically just nasty.

Has she never heard of overnight guests? None of her business anyway.

Surely there is much more environmental impact in having more than one child than living in a house (whch has already been built) which is larger than is strictly necessary MairzyDoats?

I have a 4 bed...master bedroom, child's room, office and spare bedroom for when family visit. What's so odd about that? I think your friend is jealous.

FFS - the Cambridge's and the Sussex's best move out of their many bedroomed houses to satisfy your friend then.

We always needed an extra bedroom to accomodate parents, siblings or friends coming to stay. We moved at least 180 miles from our famiies ( not so good, when they are elderly and infirm but you don't think about that in your 20s or 30s ) and did not want the upheaval or moving kids around when we had visitors.
Its your money, your choice and you need to decide on how you want to live.

Well why do you want a bigger house? Be honest...

Because she does.... why should she need a reason? If she can afford it why not?!?! 🙄🙄🙄

What is the point in this friendship exactly? Friends are supposed to be happy for each other, not jealous.

Don't invite her over to your new home whatever you do, she will only make mean and nasty comments and take your confidence away.

I’d be considering whether or not someone who called me selfish and an idiot was really a friend. I’m already thinking not.

Tell her "Bite me!!!" I have moved into a four bedroom this year and my DH and I have one child

She’s jealous. I would buy a 6 bedroom mansion if I could afford it!

Meh, 2 kids, 5 bedrooms. We’ve worked for it!

I live in a small close of 7 houses...only myself and another neighbour have 1 child...the other 4 have retired couples and one house even has a lone occupant...we have 2 downstairs bedrooms so many use them as playroom/study/office.

I cant imagine why anyone would be so rude to a friend

Meh, there's just 2 of us and we've got 5 bedrooms. We've also got His and Hers sitting rooms

We do likes our time alone.

There’s only me and DS and we could fill a 4 bedroom house easily : a room for me, a room for him, an office and a guest room . That’s them all filled and still nowhere for all my junk