To be a cool wife?

[OliBonas]

This is very outing and I’m sure all my friends and family have a lot to say about this so I’ve named changed.
A few weeks ago DH was away with work, this is a regular occurrence. During the time he was tagged in a post on FB by one of his workmates. In the picture a young lady is sat on his lap. There’s a crowd of them and it looks to me as if she is just squeezing into the picture.
Oddly, the woman in question is friends with our oldest son (all my family work within the same industry, very small world) and he is really angry with his dad. And he thinks I should be angry too. DS thinks that this girl has a crush on his dad (she’s very pretty and DH looks like a normal bloke, he’s also a granddad so far older than her) and that I should be wary.
AIBU for believing DH that nothing is going on?

YANBU

Hmmm wouldn’t be cool wife about that, even a squeezed in work photo I would have boundaries to not sit on someone’s knee!

To be physically comfortable doing that with a colleague is odd sorry.

Nope. And he doesn't get to involve himself in your relationship with his father.

If he thinks his friend has a crush on his Dad, then perhaps he needs to tell his friend to wind her neck in. (Is that the correct phrasing?!)

Being "far older than her" matters not one shiny shit.

did you ask him about it?

I don’t think YABU but I do think YABU for calling yourself a cool wife. I hate that phrase.

Doesn’t mean they are shagging or anything is going on, but it’s wholly inappropriate and they were probably flirting.

But people flirt, fact of life. Doesn’t mean cheating.

I wouldn't be pissed off, but I loathe the phrase "cool wife".

YANBU to trust your DH.

If your instinct says there's nothing in it, then I wouldn't worry what anyone else thinks.

But be aware that in MN world every man on a work trip is knocking off (or trying to knock off) his younger colleague!

I think it’s weird. Sorry.

Not really seeing the cool wife behaviour here (perhaps I’m missing something?)

YANBU to trust your husband but he should probably not let ladies sit on his lap during a work social especially those ladies who know his son.

Cool wife? Ugh

YANBU to suspect nothing is happening, but I still think it is very, very weird that your DS friend is sat on your husbands lap. Innocent or not it's still cringe-y, gross and icky

Actually really refreshing to see someone with confidence in their relationship. Mostly on here you get tears and tantrums if the OH so much as encounters a pretty woman. But cool wife - no- just sensible.

Cool Wife? Creepy Husband.

YANBU to think that nothing's going on if you trust him. But it's still a fairly weird thing to do at a work event, and it can't be fun for your son to be having arguments with his mum about whether his dad's looking elsewhere or not.

My partner does theatre so I've physically watched him kissing (and once proposing) to another woman, so I guess I'm a "cool girlfriend".

I think you're right to trust your husband. I equally don't think your son is wrong not to trust the girl (if he knows her and knows what she's like).

Ultimately you need to talk to your son about it and explain why you both feel the way you do.

I trust my dh completely and I wouldn’t even cross my mind that this picture was anything other than a quick friend photo

Your ds sounds a bit unhinged though...

Bleurgh to cool wife.

I'm pretty relaxed about this sort of thing but I know most of my friends would flip.

My DH has lots of female friends and I'm fine with that. However if he were away with work and a colleague was pictured sat on his lap yes I would find that quite inappropriate.

It's hard to tell without seeing the photo but your description (looks like everyone was squeezing in) makes me think I'd be fine about it.

If this was my husband though I'd be giving him a heads up about the possibility of this crush so he can be extra carful around his behaviour.

Not that he would be doing anything wrong but I would also like to know if it was me as if I'm aware then I can be aware of anything that could be misconstrue.

Misconstrued*

I'd interpret your DS discomfort as him subtly trying to raise a significant concern with you.

I'd be worried

Your son knows his friend better than you do. (Why would he make it up that she has a crush on your DH) . I'd heed the warning tbh. Him being old enough to be her Grandad doesn't matter if she has Daddy issues. Some men that age are flattered with younger women's attention & I've seen plenty of May to December work flings: 22 & pregnant with twins to a married 54yr old Director was one of them.

Hmmm. Your son might be more pissed off his friend was doing that i can imagine its awkward for him his female friend sitting on his dads lap. I know i wouldn't have done that. Or he thinks your DH might fancy her, or your DS fancies her.

YANBU to not be pissed off, but is a bit weird imo.

Ooo i misread thinking your DS said your DH fancies her, not her him.

Well, your DS knows her. Why would he lie?