Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my FIL for wasting concert tickets

84 replies

IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:12

Can't decide if I am or not, DP says I am.

For Christmas last year I spent money on two concert tickets for my FIL. Tonight is the concert.
The main act isn't on for another hour but the whole thing started at 3.

FIL isn't even there yet Hmm he has been waiting for a bus for 20 mins! He says if the next bus doesn't turn up he will just go home as he is shattered (he has worked for the last 2 weeks with one or two days off)

I had to put the tickets on my CC and haven't even paid it off yet! I'm so annoyed that he has let them go to waste. One ticket was wasted anyway as he couldn't find anybody to go with him Angry

AIBU?

OP posts:
Kochicoo · 06/07/2019 18:15

Did he ask for the tickets?

HilaryBriss · 06/07/2019 18:15

YABU I think. You bought the tickets, perhaps FIL never really wanted to go in the first place.

Mrsjayy · 06/07/2019 18:15

Oh i think I would be annoyed too is there nobody who could have dropped him off ?

EskewedBeef · 06/07/2019 18:16

Who did you think he'd go with, and how did you imagine he'd get there? Had you spoken to him about these things before you bought the tickets?

Wonderwoman98 · 06/07/2019 18:17

Whose concert are the tickets for?

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:17

Oh he wanted to go, he mentioned it in the run up to Christmas but said he probably wouldn't be able to afford it.
He didn't ask for them but was definitely over the moon at getting them

No I don't think so, otherwise he would of asked them Sad

OP posts:
cstaff · 06/07/2019 18:17

You could just as easily bought him a present that he didn't like and just stuck it in the press. In that case you wouldn't have known any different.

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:18

No but when he knew he was getting two tickets, he said he would ask a friend. The concert is being held about 30 mins away from his house, so I presumed he would get a bus/taxi/walk... yano like most of us would

OP posts:
1CantPickAName · 06/07/2019 18:18

As with any other gift, what the receiver chooses to do with them is noyb

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 06/07/2019 18:18

Sounds a bit of a shit present really, if he has no one to go with and is having to rely on unreliable public transport. Why didn’t you or DH go with him?

RedSheep73 · 06/07/2019 18:19

I think I would be annoyed too. Not much you can do though except not buy him tickets again.

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:19

My partner is working. I have 3 children and no childcare. It's also not a group that I like

OP posts:
cstaff · 06/07/2019 18:19

Just read your update. If he mentioned them before Xmas and doesn't use them then hibu.

Pineapplefish · 06/07/2019 18:20

If he was over the moon at getting them, you have to assume that he is really feeling too tired to go and wouldn't enjoy it if he did. In which case there would be no point. Let it go, OP. I'm sure he's disappointed too.

FredaFrogspawn · 06/07/2019 18:20

You present did it’s job as soon as he opened it- it was thoughtful and he was grateful. Now you need to let this go. Whatever he does with the tickets through his current situation, he still knows you got them because you care about him. Don’t spoil that by showing him your disappointment.

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:21

But the whole thing started at 3, he has had plenty of time to get there! To start blaming buses is quite annoying imo

OP posts:
MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 06/07/2019 18:21

I’d be annoyed but not much you can reasonably do

FredaFrogspawn · 06/07/2019 18:22

Leave it be - it really is no skin off your nose whether he actually made it at 3 or not. Get him socks next year.

EskewedBeef · 06/07/2019 18:23

The bus is the excuse - he didn't really want to get there. We all say we'd like to go to things when we see them advertised, but the reality of having to because someone bought you tickets as a surprise can be a bit less appealing. Perhaps having to go alone is the problem.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/07/2019 18:25

but said he probably wouldn't be able to afford it.

Can he afford a taxi there? Did he want to go alone, or was he saying he'd love to go (if he could afford it and had someone to go with)?

You've done a nice gesture, but circumstances may mean he can't take advantage of it. It's the downside of buying someone tickets to something in a set place with a set time, unless you can commit to taking them. I learned this the hard way, and now only buy things with long use-by periods, unless the person knows in advance and confirms they want tickets!

Snowy81 · 06/07/2019 18:27

Sound alike he didn’t really want to go, especially on his own.

EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 18:28

is he allowed to go in late?

EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 18:29

leave him to it op, dont control his attendance

Carrotpuree · 06/07/2019 18:30

YABATBU,BUI. You are being a tiny bit unreasonable, but I understand! (Hoping this will be a new acronym.) you gave the gift in good faith as something you thought he’d expressed an interest in, but now he’s just too tired and possibly without a plus one to go with, wondering if he will have a good time if he goes? I get it. Next time, perhaps, given he is a little older if you give an ‘experience gift’ make sure you plan for someone to experience it with him (you?) and transport. Or socks. I think socks are really under rated as a gift. I like getting socks. Smile

MissLadyM · 06/07/2019 18:32

Still haven't paid it off your credit card???