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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my FIL for wasting concert tickets

84 replies

IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 18:12

Can't decide if I am or not, DP says I am.

For Christmas last year I spent money on two concert tickets for my FIL. Tonight is the concert.
The main act isn't on for another hour but the whole thing started at 3.

FIL isn't even there yet Hmm he has been waiting for a bus for 20 mins! He says if the next bus doesn't turn up he will just go home as he is shattered (he has worked for the last 2 weeks with one or two days off)

I had to put the tickets on my CC and haven't even paid it off yet! I'm so annoyed that he has let them go to waste. One ticket was wasted anyway as he couldn't find anybody to go with him Angry

AIBU?

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 06/07/2019 18:33

You've spent the money regardless so I'd let it go.

starzig · 06/07/2019 18:35

So main act is on at 7 / 7.30? That seems rather early to me. I would probably miss the whole thing if headliners came on then. So used to them not being on till 9.30 / 10.00

AllFourOfThem · 06/07/2019 18:37

As I’ve got older I have cared less and less about seeing the warm up acts. So I think YABU about being annoyed he hasn’t been there since 3, but I can understand why you would be annoyed if he returns home and doesn’t go at all.

EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 18:37

agree, you did buy two tickets which was generous but perhaps he can't find a +1

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 06/07/2019 18:41

Yabu, he’s making steps to go, possibly at the time he didn’t work so much and believed it would be Ok, he’s now as you say tired as most of us would be working those hours.

It’s not his fault you put a gift on a credit card and YABU to buy a gift for someone you could I’ll afford.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 06/07/2019 18:42

*ill afford

LillithsFamiliar · 06/07/2019 18:43

If you've known since Christmas, surely your DP could have arranged leave so he could go with his DF? Your FIL might think it's a bit miserable going to a concert on his own.

Daisydoesnt · 06/07/2019 18:43

OP is it the Who at Wembley? If so the gates open at 3pm but the support acts don't start for another hour and a hour, and perhaps he isnt into the Kaiser Chiefs Smile. The Who will be on at 7.30

Lipz · 06/07/2019 18:46

Ooh I wouldn't go to a concert on my own, I defo wouldn't go at 3pm, that's hours on your own. He probably is wrecked and attending a concert it's probably the last thing he wants to do.

TigerJoy · 06/07/2019 18:46

He is probably absolutely knackered. I have missed things I've really wanted to go to because I've been wiped out through working too hard.

It sounds like that's the case here. It's a shame but i am sure he appreciated the gesture. Try not to be annoyed at him, I am sure he hasn't been casual about this he is probably really disappointed

ElizaPancakes · 06/07/2019 18:48

This is one of those things where strictly speaking, it's not your business what someone does with a gift once you've given it to them.

But YANBU to be upset, especially as this was clearly a special gift and you haven't even paid it off yet! My dad did similar years ago, it really upset me and my sibs especially as we were all teens on minimum wage.

If he didn't want them or didn't think he could go, he should have told you so you could have sold them or something.

EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 18:48

your dh should have gone too, why on earth didnt he?

Bluerussian · 06/07/2019 18:48

I hope the bus arrives in time for him to go to the concert. It's not unusual for people to go to the main part and skip the support acts.

If he is worn out, one can understand what he said, sometimes being very tired means 'unwell'. However he didn't need to tell you!

You are being a little unreasonable. It's his ticket after all so his choice but I think I might be a bit miffed in your shoes.

Let us know if he got there and enjoyed it.

VivienneHolt · 06/07/2019 18:49

I’d be annoyed too OP, but it’s also a lesson learned. If you’re still paying the tickets off from Christmas you couldn’t afford them either, and that’s only making it more annoying. Next time I would be less generous!

colourlessgreenidea · 06/07/2019 18:49

I had to put the tickets on my CC and haven't even paid it off yet!

This is ridiculous, and is probably also the root of your annoyance.

You’ve bought someone a gift that will take you in excess of 7-8 months to pay off, and you feel they should be proportionately grateful.

I’d feel mortified and incredibly pressured if someone had put me in that situation. Leave him alone, stop checking whether he’s there yet or not. You willingly spent the money, it’s gone, it’s never coming back.

LittleAndOften · 06/07/2019 18:51

I feel you OP. I bought MIL and FIL tickets to the Minack theatre for a big milestone birthday. We were on holiday down there at the time. They didn't go. In fact they made no effort to go at all. Not that they don't like that sort of thing, or that they had any obstacles to going, they just couldn't organise themselves. Kind of sums them up really.

So disappointed.

NoBaggyPants · 06/07/2019 18:52

@LittleAndOften That's completely different to the OP's situation where FIL has got to go on his own, is knackered and is still trying to get there.

MollysMummy2010 · 06/07/2019 19:00

Is it Greenwich or the who? Won’t have missed much yet.

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 19:01

No it's not in Wembley, hours

OP posts:
Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 19:04

Hours away from there infact Grin
He has 3 other sons that he could of asked. DP hasn't been at this job long so has acquired no holidays.

He definitely wanted to go and it was his choice to work. He was supposed to be off this week but did overtime because he has DGDs birthday to pay for.

CC hasn't been paid because I was on benefits, I haven't long got a job myself. FIL would never spend £90 on himself so close to Christmas, he definitely wanted to go and has spoke about it near enough every month (tickets arrived last month)

OP posts:
Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 19:05

And I wasnt checking up on him Hmm he phoned me to ask if I could Google when the next bus was

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 19:07

it sounds like he is on his way,
he is trying to work over time for his dgd
and you are putting expensive presents on a credit card!

it is done, bought.
lets hope he makes it.
people have things going on.

EleanorReally · 06/07/2019 19:08

you or he can still sell the tickets though

Marnie76 · 06/07/2019 19:09

If you were on benefits and couldnt afford it why on earth did you buy them and why is he paying for his dgd birthday party if he can’t afford it?..

Original poster
IgotApositive · 06/07/2019 19:10

I can't sell them I don't have them, I think gates closed at 7 too so be a bit pointless.
Ach I know I should let it go, just miffed that he didn't try harder to get there

OP posts: