To say postnatal wards are the least conducive environment for a mum/baby recovery

[cheesemumma]

Currently sitting on a ward at 11.30pm. 6th night. No exaggeration I think in total I must have had 4 hours sleep. My physical and mental health is suffering. I'm going to have to talk to the Drs tomorrow and say we're going home whatever, as we're getting more ill staying. Its not just the other selfish fucker couples that decide to talk on phone /watch films/ have conversations with each other but the staff seem to not give 2 shits it's the middle of the night. I realise my tiredness and hormones are a big contributing factor but I can feel a full tantrum /meltdown coming on. It's also 10000000 degrees and the enviable screaming babies plus the fact you get 3 teeny portions of food a day so I'm really hungry as ebf.

YANBU - I honestly think wards are hell on earth. When I was in 2 years ago having my son I begged the doctor to let me go home and when I was told no I’ve never cried so much, someone later told me that she could hear me wailing from down the corridor. I compare it to mental torture. I hope you get some rest and get home soon xx

Yanbu.

It's amazing what happens to women post natally that's just considered "normal" in this country. No other patient would be expected to put up with some typical experiences (being missed from food rounds, being in labor for days then being woken for tomorrow's lunch choice!!). The un enforcement of rules for rowdy visitors!!

Forgot to add:

The typical test for post natal women in the UK seems to be "are mum and baby alive". That's it. If yes to both, the birth was a success.

No other patient would be treated like this!

It's like we are expected to be good little women and be grateful

It’s definitely hell. I was 4 days on a post natal ward as they were struggling to control my bp. In that time I think I slept for a total of four hours thanks to Snorey McSnoreson, Miss OverShare and The Body That Won’t Be Soothed. After one night I knew far more about Miss OverShare’s birth then I wanted too as she seemingly called everyone she knew and told them in Precise Detail exactly what had happened.

Then there were the midwives constantly taking my bp at all hours then, seemingly as an afterthought, offering me paracetamol whilst being clueless about the medication I was on for bp. Someone had crossed out a med I was supposed to be taking and no one ever found out why.

Eventually, after I was told I’d was being discharged then (after getting dressed and packing my bag) being told I had to stay I had a total meltdown. I told the doctor if she wanted me to stay then she’d have to sedate me. DH ended up summoning my mother to get her to calm me down. I ended up having a private room for the last two nights before finally be discharged.

@DennisMailerWasHere, that’s not entirely true. My dad was treated just as badly on a so-called rehab ward. Thankfully he had a daughter who kicked up a stink, refused to allow him to be bullied and sprung him.

I was discharged yesterday after a two day stay following a scheduled c-section. Went to use the only working shower yesterday morning but was beaten to it by a man who was walking around in only his boxer shorts. I am genuinely baffled as to why midwives do not call security on partners who behave like this.

The men staying overnight is a grim development. I thought they'd banned mixed wards.

I hated every minute on the postnatal ward (was there 2 days as risk of clotting). The telly was on all day when you want a bit of silence and rest, all the comings and goings. No sound insulation with people talking the other side of the curtain, zero privacy.

I really felt for the lady across the room who had a Caesarean and had regular midwife visits discussing loudly all the gory details, catheters, what was going on down there, including internal examinations, accompanied by a running commentary. I was mortified for her.

It is like you have got no dignity during/ after you have had a baby.

They are awful. In the hospital we use in other wards of the same size there are four people, where as in a maternity ward there are six squeezed into the same space, then 6 babies, so 12 humans in total. The noise is just unbearable, it's all unbearable.

Luckily my hospital hasn't introduced men staying overnight, that would be even worse.

Can I just say, it's midwives on the post natal wards, not nurses.

OP. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time!

This thread has made me sad - I had a very similar experience to lots of other people on here.

I had to stay 72 hours after birth, the ward was hell on earth, it was the hottest summer i’ve ever known for a start. Then on one shift a very matron like midwife was in charge and you could feel the atmosphere - the nursery nurse confirmed she was awful to work for, and everyone hated it, I had to ask that midwife if my bleeding was normal as I’d passed a clot. She made me feel horrendous.

Then there was the paediatric doctor who insisted on talking to my husband not to me, who missed the fact DS was jaundice as he plotted the chart wrong so just as we were about to leave we had to stay another night. By this point I was in tears. And was patronisingly asked ‘oh first baby?’

In the end DM came in and had a word, had an apology from that doctor and was moved to a private room for my final night whilst DS was in an incubator under the lights.

All in all it’s put me off having another child in hospital but I’ll be consultant led so I’ll have no choice but to go through it all again next time

majority direct entry so not nurses, apart from "nursing placements" definite correlation - how can they care for post-surgical patients with NO nursing qualification. of course they need to qualify as nurses first then cross- qualify you need the foundation!!!!!

@Lovelylondon1989

You sound so nice.
If I were to have another baby (would be a miracle!) I'd pay extra to have you in attendance.

I was in for one night following a forceps and lots of internal and external stitches. They wanted me to stay in and in better circumstances, that would have been the best option!

However, I found the bedside manner of the midwives absolutely awful. They were aggressive in trying to establish BF, shouted at me when I hadn't been for a wee in several hours (I was terrified to go as felt my insides were about to fall out) and threatened me with the reinsertion of the catheter.

So I forced myself to go and basically pissed a bedpan full of blood, which they then sarcastically remarked 'about time'

Oh it was just a fucking hideous time and I discharged myself the next day.

I had a baby last summer, and the heating on the ward was broken, so it was boiling hot and the radiator was also on! And the lady in the cubicle next door was complaining I had the window open! Complete hell. And the lady who comes round with a tea trolley (also rationed the milk like she paid for it with her own money 🙄) kept unplugging my phone! I was alone the whole time on the ward because I have an arsehole "d"p and I needed some connection to something other than the sweaty loud boring room I was trapped in for absolutely no reason other than it being policy that I stay in for one night. He's my third baby, we were both completely fine. I still feel rage about the fact I had to stay there. I hope you get home soon, it's like torture.

You poor thing. I was in for 3 nights with my first and it was exactly as you describe. Fucking awful. Was lucky enough to be able to go home in the afternoon of the day my second was born and there was a world of difference to my recovery.

The hospitals now just aren't safe.

Baby 1 left in the room i have birth in. Had to take bloody sheets off myself and discharged myself afte 7 hours as they didn't have any room on postnatal.

2nd birth had to stay one night as 24 hours with waters broken. Infection risk. We were fine. Managed to get a private room but was forgotten. Didn't get anything to eat. Begged to go home. Finally discharged at lunch! Hadn't eaten since lunch the day before and was breastfeeding.

3rd baby at home. Was perfect in my own bed. Midwives went home 2 hours after delivery. No issues.

4th baby was told i could go home after 5 hours. Then 12 then 18? Finally got discharged at 1am. I ran out of there. So noisy. Men being loud. Women complaining. People walking about .so hot. No food. I walked around with my baby for a bit just to keep sane. They wanted to send me home but weren't allowed as baby 4 water broke with 28 hours empty.

I hate the men staying over thing. Even though if it wasn’t for my DH me and the woman in the next bed wouldn’t have had any food I still think it should be banned.

It’s basically a cheap way to cut staff numbers.

The woman in the next bed to me didn’t have a partner and was told to get “someone” to come in. She didn’t have anyone and even though she had a section at 7pm by midnight she was told to lift her baby herself. She just couldn’t. Her and her baby would have been utterly neglected if DH hadn’t been able to lift him to her.

The husband of the woman opposite was well meaning, but an absolute pain in the arse. He kept going on about how it wasn’t right he could see us in our pj’s and see us struggling to the loo etc. He meant well buy continually pointing it out just made it more uncomfortable

I also found they were totally ill equipped to deal with postnatal surgery complications... Ladies who had csection issues (pain control for 1 important example!) Barely looked at. Made to get up and walk very early to get their own water, despite clearly struggling. Woman in the next bed who was clearly exhausted, long labour then an emergency cesarean late at night was told that she should ideally be getting up and about "today"... That was 6am the following morning!

I've never heard such a distressing sound as that poor lady sobbing in the next bed, clearly her pain meds weren't enough, whatever they had her on afterwards! I had to help her ffs.

First time mum too. Slim chance of her having another, I'd guess.

Absolutely shocking.

But that's what i mean by the direct entry qualification, they need to have nursing skills! Nursing "placements" aren't enough sorry

Bloody hell these stories seem like you have been in some torture chambers!

If i may relate to last year. A relative was having her child there at the Rosie birth centre attached to Addenbrookes hospital Cambridge.and her mum had a nasty with a broken leg just a few days before so i was asked to ferry her there to see young mum and babe so got to see this place.

The birthing centre is like a suite of rooms that you have to yourself they have a double bed, own loo and shower, own birthing bool, bars on the walls with birthing balls and some other clobber plus a table and chairs. The idea is to make it a home from home place and it does work very well.

Its more akin to a hotel than much else mum concerned had some bloodstained sheets so i went and asked at the nurses station if they had a few spare sheets and we'd just change them a look of disbelif came back and i was told that visitors just don't do these things and within less than a miniute later there was a knock at the door and what can only be described as room service turned up and made the bed and asked if anything else was required!

All in an excllent idea it does apper that there are other birth rooms there there and if anyhing serious devlops they have the approprite facilites up on the next floor. Anyway she was in threre in the morning had babe midday and was out the following morning as all was well they want you in and out as quick as possibe.

A very intresting place all the same it was set up orignally by a man who made a frtune from TV rentals he said he'd pay half of the codst propvided it was buit in a very short space of time and it was an he wanted it nakmed after his Mum Rosie!

The former maternity unit was an old Victorain workhouse!!

www.cuh.nhs.uk/pregnancy-labour-and-birth/overview/wards-and-clinics/rosie-birth-centre

Meant to add.

goo.gl/maps/nEDMWxpJRAAKC72Q8

Nothing changes. It just gets worse. Then you have countless threads from women who must have 'DP' there. They simply cannot be without, the man must 'bond'; women shouldn't complain, they are just afraid of 'dads' (some of them aren't even the baby daddy) and they are only interested in their 'partners' (look at some of the specimens women on here procreate with). No food or water brought, supposed to get up, what's the point of being in a hospital then? No privacy, threads about how your curtains need to be open, so the staff, who never do anything, can see you.