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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gift demands for Sil's boyfriends children

95 replies

TheCheekOfSomePeople · 05/07/2019 16:17

My Sil has been dating a guy for around a year or so (not sure on the exact length). They don't live together. He has two children from a previous marriage. Dh has just received a message from his sister saying it's one of their birthdays so please sort out a card and gift for them, I'll send a list of things they like. Isn't this a bit cheeky, do people get gifts for the children of someone your sister is dating? We haven't even meet the children and dh has only met the his sisters boyfriend once. I'm really unsure if this is a thing?? AIBU to think she is being cheeky

OP posts:
Collaborate · 05/07/2019 16:21

Very cheeky. It would be a swift no from me.

steppemum · 05/07/2019 16:21

cheeky, either ignore, or send a card, or reply to her something along the lines of - bit odd, we haven't even met them yet!

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 05/07/2019 16:22

It's definitely cheeky. I'd ignore it.

MzHz · 05/07/2019 16:23

“Jog on” I believe would be the correct response.

CFSIL

MzHz · 05/07/2019 16:23

Just completely ignore the text. Your sil is bonkers

TinselTimes · 05/07/2019 16:23

I think that’s a bit odd tbh. They’re not your nieces/nephews. I’d reply saying the children might find it a bit odd to get presents from people they’ve never met, so you won’t be doing gifts this year. But then soften the blow/avoid arguments by suggesting all getting together some time so you can get to know the boyfriend?

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/07/2019 16:25

Hilarious. Has he bought gifts for your DC birthdays?

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/07/2019 16:26

Or yours!

IvanaPee · 05/07/2019 16:27

Wtf?

My response would be “eh no”.

Original poster
TheCheekOfSomePeople · 05/07/2019 16:28

Thank goodness, because dh thinks we should just get a gift so we don't upset his sister. He thinks it's odd and cheeky but doesn't want a fallout with his sister over it. She has a form for being quite cheeky and demanding with gifts for herself for Christmas and birthdays.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCheekOfSomePeople · 05/07/2019 16:29

I'll show dh this thread

OP posts:
Original poster
TheCheekOfSomePeople · 05/07/2019 16:31

AnneLovesGilbert he hasn't but Sil has given our ds a gift for his birthday and Christmas.

OP posts:
ohhelloitsyou · 05/07/2019 16:31

I think it’s odd and cheeky too but I do agree with your do that if he thinks it’ll cause a fall out it’s not worth it. What if she stays with him long term? The kids would be part of her family then.
I would get them something simple based on age and if she sends a list that is ridiculous/expensive I’d not follow it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/07/2019 16:33

If she gets in a huff after making this outrageous request and it causes a fall out then you haven’t lost anything, it’s her look out and no reflection on you or DH.

Don’t roll over the pacify her tantrums.

newmomof1 · 05/07/2019 16:33

I agree with PP who said the children will find it a bit odd.

Or do send a gift and sign it "Auntie and Uncle TheCheek" if she wants you all to be family!

ohhelloitsyou · 05/07/2019 16:33

Or maybe send a card with a tenner in or something. Can’t complain about that.

that25cUKHeatwaveof2019 · 05/07/2019 16:34

do people get gifts for the children of someone your sister is dating?

if you are invited to the birthday party, yes.
if you are not, absolutely not.

A token present or a card for children when the parents live together is the best I would do.

demanding with gifts for herself for Christmas and birthdays. She can demand, I would just ignore Grin
Unless they are super cheap and she is "asking" but doing you a favour.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 05/07/2019 16:35

What on earth... this isn’t normal and very cheeky

Boysnme · 05/07/2019 16:36

It’s an odd request to me. Possibly different if they lived with your SIL and were very much part of your extended family but you haven’t even met them!

Your SIL getting your DC a present should have nothing to do with it.

Lindy2 · 05/07/2019 16:37

If you had regular contact with them then it would be just about ok. I email my brother with reminders of my children's birthdays and gift ideas because I know he wants to get them something and a reminder and some suggestions is helpful and appreciated by him.
However, as you've never even met these children then I can't see why on earth their birthday is of any interest to you.

TulipsTwoLips · 05/07/2019 16:37

Very cheeky.

Does your sil have kids? Perhaps she thinks as she buys for your kids you should buy for the children in her life so to speak?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/07/2019 16:39

I had presents from 'uncles and aunties' as a child who I had never met, I still have no idea who they were and I remember being grateful but thinking it was a bit odd.

Original poster
TheCheekOfSomePeople · 05/07/2019 16:40

TulipsTwoLips Sil doesn't have kids. That probably is what she thinks

OP posts:
FannyGall0ps · 05/07/2019 16:41

So your Sil buys your kids presents, but you won’t buy her partner’s kids’ presents?

Why? Are they’re not related to you enough yet? Will this change in the future?

If she’s planning a future with this chap then you’re starting off on the wrong foot and for the sake of a small present you could cause quite a lot of bad feeling.

I’m with your DH. Buy the present.

Xyzzzzz · 05/07/2019 16:41

How odd, I wouldn’t and I’d explain I’ve never met the children. If she wants to huff let her

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