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AIBU?

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Original poster

dh is jealous of dss and it threatens my marriage

111 replies

fecketyfeck21 · 04/07/2019 20:08

ds 19 and me have get on very well, we laugh and chat about most things. dh has become jealous about this and intensively dislikes my ds as a result [is dh's ss] it is causing a lot of stress and arguments.
dh is fine around the other sc but he sees my son as his rival [his words]. we have a vert strong marriage but this is putting a wedge under the foundations and i'm beginning to feel like i'm walking on egg shells.
ds helped me with watering some pot plants this evening as dh had gone indoors to sulk because ds had come out to see what we had been doing in the garden. when i saw dh he's sulking and banging on about 'mummy's helper' i said 'you went indoors and weren't going to help' he said he went in because of dss.
we've just had a scuff and he's sulked off upstairs after telling me to 'piss off' i commented that he was the one that was the one acting like a knob and was leaving the room not me.
i think it's shame that i feel i'm being made to choose, he doesn't like me even being in the same room let along speaking.
what do i do ?

OP posts:
Cheby · 04/07/2019 20:20

Was he around and behaving like this when DS was a child?

GabriellaMontez · 04/07/2019 20:21

He called your son his rival Shock

Disgusting. Pathetic.

NotNowNinja · 04/07/2019 20:21

He opening resents your son you need to leave him.
My dh was in a similar situation with his mother and felt he had to move out when he was 17 to escape the situation. His relationship with her never recovered.

Cheby · 04/07/2019 20:22

I’m confused; 20 years of marriage to your DH abut your son, his step son, is only 19?

Sarahjconnor · 04/07/2019 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarahjconnor · 04/07/2019 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
fecketyfeck21 · 04/07/2019 20:25

cheby dss was a young baby when we met.

OP posts:
steff13 · 04/07/2019 20:26
  1. I would divorce him.
  2. I wouldn't announce to the world I was growing pot. Unless it's legal there.
LazyDaisey · 04/07/2019 20:26

Your son is 19, you’ve been married 20 years and your husband refers to him as his stepson and considers him a rival?

GlitchStitch · 04/07/2019 20:26

So he's raised him from a young baby and sees him as a 'rival'? That's just bizarre.

Hithere12 · 04/07/2019 20:26

dh is fine around the other sc but he sees my son as his rival

Absolutely pathetic. My Dad dated a woman like this and it basically destroyed my relationship with him. I couldn’t understand why he’d expose me to someone like that.

Quartz2208 · 04/07/2019 20:27

is he your youngest then

Cheby · 04/07/2019 20:27

Ah so are you rounding up, you’ve been together for almost 20 years, rather than actually 20 years? I get it.

I think that’s even worse then. You would think that your DH would have treated him like his own son, had he essentially brought him up from birth. Seeing him as a rival is creepy as hell anyway but much worse now he’s been around since DS was tiny.

Whereissummerthisyear · 04/07/2019 20:27

Why are you saying ‘dss’ and ‘the other sc’ as if they are not your children?

Original poster
fecketyfeck21 · 04/07/2019 20:28

sorry it's 19 years we been married not 20 Blush i'm just so irritated at the moment i can't think straight.

OP posts:
LazyDaisey · 04/07/2019 20:28

“cheby dss was a young baby when we met”

What, like one of your eggs?

KeepFuckingOff · 04/07/2019 20:28

He’s an awful awful man, how has he been treating your son for the past 19 years? Fucking hell he’d be out the door tonight if I was married to him. Your poor DS having a bullying wanker like that for a step dad.

Teacakeandalatte · 04/07/2019 20:29

Sickening behaviour from him towards someone who is effectively his own son. I would be so disappointed in him and what it says about his character.

ICanWearMyBoobsUpOrDown · 04/07/2019 20:29

Whether it's 20 years or 20 minutes, the minute a partner looks on someone's child as a rival, that person needs to go.

If someone wanted me to choose between my child and anyone or anything else firstly, they can fuck right off, and secondly my children will always come first in any situation.

If you want your relationship with your son to continue your relationship with your husband needs to end.

Original poster
fecketyfeck21 · 04/07/2019 20:29

yes, ds is the youngest of 6, but dh has helped raise them all.

OP posts:
Whereissummerthisyear · 04/07/2019 20:30

How can he object to you being in the same room as your son when presumably you have all been living together for 20 years?

LazyDaisey · 04/07/2019 20:30

So you married a guy you only knew for a couple of months while you had a newborn?

What?

If you’re trying to fudge details to stay anonymous, you’ve failed Grin

BlueSuffragette · 04/07/2019 20:31

DH needs to get a grip and stop being so pathetic. He should be pleased you have such a lovely relationship with your son not be jealous of him ffs.

browzingss · 04/07/2019 20:31

That’s your SON - it’s weird that he’s jealous of your relationship with him, very immature!

1CantPickAName · 04/07/2019 20:31

My mums husband was openly hostile towards my brother, it escalated and he would (IMO) billy my brother and my mum three my brother out at 14 when he started acting out. My db went into care and ended up in a young offenders institute. He is now in his late 30’s, homeless with mh issues.

Your son is 19 and has a job, you don’t say anything negative about your son so I presume he is a ‘good’ kid. How was your dh with him upto now?

I would have a word with the manchild and let him know that you will not put up with it, it’s not fair to your son and you will always choose your child over any man! Presuming that’s how you feel!

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