to expect friend not to be so jealous and petty!!

[bosslady]

Bearing in mind i am only her friend for dp sake its his best friends wife she is very young and immature 19 married to 30 year old i have a bit of a problem with that to start with but she is just not my cup of tea but have to be tolerant anyway as i have been making an effort at being nice she has slowly started copying things i say and do and keeps bobing round for a bru that sort of thing then i find out shes telling people we are becoming really close friends but the problem i have now is we are going to stay with friends and she is saying her dh is feeling left out as he never gets asked to this particular friends to stay anymore but i have pointed out to her that he has been asked but refused to go and so thats not our problem but shes making him look stupid if he has a problem why cant he speak to the friend in question without making me feel bad by going i think its because i am really good mates with the friends girlfriend and i dont think she can handle that and wants me to be just her friend and it freaks me out a bit when someone gets to that sort of place i have a few friends not loads but wouldnt expect me to be there only friend!! im ranting as she has really pissed me off today and none of this probably makes any sence sorry!!

pmsl at adding the punctuation

seriously though, she sounds very insecure. she is only 19 though so perhaps she just looks up to you? it is a compliment really in a strange sort of way.

ooh yes
but surely if they have been asked and refused it is nothing to do with you

CD did more fixing. I just added punctuation, didn't interfere with the OP that much.

(I don't live to fix people's grammar - I only pick on people if they go on about being correct all the bloody time. Every so often I get involved in a 'dialect' argument and make all the pedants hate me. )

And anyway, I was first!

It is annoying having someone hanging over you like that. Makes you feel like giving them a couple of hard slaps.

ok so she

1. copies you
2. bobs round for a bru
3. tells people you are becoming close friends
4. says her dp feels left out of this thing you have planned

But you haven´t actually said what she´s done that is jealous and petty? I´m confused.

Ok point taken NVQ. Go on I need to atone

Right, I think you should ignore what she is saying to others, unless they ask you about it. If you know that she's being petty and silly then probably everyone else can work it out too.

If she annoys you then see less of her, if she pops round to see you then be nice and polite but say that you're in the middle of something and can't stop for a chat or that you're just about to go out. When you do meet up with her be friendly in a "haven't seen you for ages, lets catch up" sort of way. She probably quite insecure so trying to drop her completely would make her much worse.

Ooh, I did have some advice after all.

thanks bran that was useful she is very insecure!

Um, are you calling me NVQ to wind me up? Or by accident?

PMSL Shit sorry - that will be the wine. Genuine accident.

"Bearing in mind i am only her friend for dp sake"

You don't sound like much of a friend at all then.

If you find her difficult then I would suggest that you don't talk about mutual friends with her. I think people sometimes start talking about other people when they don't have any other subject of conversation.

I would just try to steer the conversation away from those subjects and she might get the message that you're trying to keep friendship with others as a separate issue.

i'd guess she probably looks up to you, and has started emulating you as a way of fitting in with the people her h is friendly with

it's a compliment really, she's v young, she probably just needs to find her feet