Wedding and christening nightmare!!

[hmga90]

Hoping someone here can help.

My brother is due to get married next month, on a Saturday in Newcastle. My best friend (who is my absolute rock, like a sister to me and I’d be lost without her) is christening her baby on the Sunday near London and she has had asked me to be godmother.

Me and my brother don’t have a good relationship at all. At first he didn’t even want me at the wedding and has only given in as my dad is so upset

He’s having a church ceremony then a sit down meal at a local restaurant with close family and friends. No formal reception/party so (at his admission) it should all be over by 10/11.

I was going to leave after the meal, go home and have a couple of hours sleep and then travel to London.

My mum is in hysterics over it. He’s having an informal BBQ the next day for extended family/friends to come to as a form of reception. I’ve pointed out to her he won’t even bothered and didn’t even want me at the wedding but no, apparently I’m unreasonable

So I’m in a bit of a pickle. Do I break the heart of the one person who has been there for me through thick and thin or attend something I know I’m not really welcome to to keep face??

I'd leave the wedding after the ceremony and head to london, stopping for a McDonald's on the way!

For your mum to react like that tells me that she knows its going to be a shit show so she needs to do her best to keep up appearances. And by having you there it will prove to everyone that everything is perfect when actually it's very far from true.
Go to the christening.

I'm surprised you're going to the wedding at all to be honest. Definetly go to the christening!

TeamChristening here too - and I would leave the wedding after the service.

Go to the christening hun. Especially as you have a role. Just go to wedding ceremony if that. Tell your brother personally what's happening and why x

Go to the christening. By your own admission you don't have a good relationship with your brother so I wouldn't lose sleep over it

Christening OP💗

Go to the christening!

I really hope the BBQ is rained off

Christening you can’t let your friend down you are a godparent!!

Go to the Christening!! Wedding part 2 BBQ is predominantly for the ‘benefit’ of the people who weren’t invited on the Saturday (and presents no doubt!)

Carefully consider whether you even want to go to the Saturday part of your brothers wedding when HE didn’t want you there, he just caved into your Mum!

I’d be seriously considering going on the Friday to my friends and spending the weekend with her (only if she wanted me to obviously)

Friends are the family you choose for yourself

The christening, definately

I would definitely go to the christening. Still attend the wedding ceremony, wish them well and then leave. Tell your mum the guilt trip is not appreciated too. It must be hard for parents when siblings don't get on but she doesn't get to emotionally blackmail you.

As somebody with a crappy and deteriorating relationship with her Db, I agree with the pps - christening, no question.

Christening 100%.

If you want to go to the wedding go to the ceremony and leave before the meal to save time but if you don't want to go to the wedding, don't. You're an adult and don't need your dad fighting your battles and your brother doing as he's told under duress.

100% Christening.

Don't bother going to the wedding at all, why would you, your brother doesn't even want you there!

Definitely leave and go to the christening. Sod the pissing bbq

Another christening vote here. Just because your mum is in hysterics it doesn't mean you have to do what she says. And don't feel bad, you need to be there - you're a godmother. The wedding thing all sounds ridiculous anyway, I'd definitely prioritise my best friend if my family were acting like yours, OP!

What time is the christening, and which side of London?

Try to explain (calmly) to Mum that you are going to the wedding . .Your friend has been there for you and you have been asked to act as Godmother to her little one.The BBQ is not the wedding ,just an extra event!.Tell her you love her and your bro(little white lie )!.But you have accepted your friends offer, and cant change it!.That way its a done deal No time to get upset its happening!.

Ignore your mum. You'll be glad you did.

Formal bit of the wedding then christening. No brainer.

Sounds like you can do both. Do as you have suggested. A best friends childs christening is more important than a post wedding day bbq. Especially as you're going to be part of the christening. However surely you bf knew about the wedding? Could she not have booked another Sunday? Where I am christenings are Usually twice a month.

Go to christening, you will have done the important bit for your brother's wedding.

Your mum is unreasonable to expect more especially as you're godmother to the child who's christening it is xx

Another one saying Christening. Prioritise what's important to you.

Whatever the purpose of this life is, I'm quite sure we're here to live our lives, not other people's.