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Original poster

To cancel the surgery tomorrow? I'm scared

156 replies

trytrytry · 04/07/2019 10:49

I've had lots of dodgy symptoms for a while(over 10 years) and they are getting worse.
My gynaecologist thinks I have endometriosis.
I'm booked in for a diagnostic laparoscopy tomorrow.
I'm terrified and I feel sick already.
I don't want to have it incase I don't wake up.
I've had my pre op and they say I'm perfectly healthy to have it.
I'm having bowel and bladder symptoms and bleeding after sex.
My smear was normal and swabs etc
It's a day surgery so I can come home same day.
My gf says if it won't kill me don't have the lap.
What do I do ?

OP posts:
swissmilk · 04/07/2019 12:09

Terrible advice from your gf.
We all get nervous and worried about surgery, but it sounds pretty routine, you are otherwise fit and healthy.
It also sounds like it could transform your life for the better.
Don't be worried, the NHS is wonderful you are in the best hands.
Be thankful you live in a country which has high standard healthcare, and enjoy the benefit of this.

Chartreuser · 04/07/2019 12:12

I would have it. I was terrified too, I was in floods of tears in the anaesthetic room for the same reason as you and they were all so lovely and said I didn't have to do it at all if I didn't want to. They explained exactly what drugs they'd be giving me when, how they work to keep me under, hiw they monitor me when under and how they bring me back round again.

I was still crying when they put me under even though I had agreed, and felt like the biggest plum ever when what felt like seconds later I was awake again.

Operations aren't cheap, they wouldn't have agreed to operate if they didn't think there was a clinical need.

Holding your hand Flowers

Bagadverts · 04/07/2019 12:19

It sounds like you need this investigation. Doctors and hospitals are stretched at the moment so they don’t offer people procedures they don’t need.

I know it’s scary and I think that is a normal reaction especially if you have not had an anaesthetic before - it’s an unknown like the first day at work or school or when you first drive a car. I’ve had lots and I’m sometimes nervous.

Tell the nurses and anaesthetist you are worried and they will talk you through what is happening step by step.

Bluerussian · 04/07/2019 12:25

It's entirely up to you but, in your place, I would have the procedure. You will wake up!

Purplequalitystreet · 04/07/2019 12:29

I know it's scary, but so many times the fear of something is worse than the reality. Please have the procedure and then you will know what is going on and they may be able to help you

NoSauce · 04/07/2019 12:29

Sounds like you definitely need the procedure, tell the doctor how you’re feeling so hopefully they will reassure you. Nobody likes having tests done but for the sake of our health most people go ahead.

sazzle27 · 04/07/2019 12:34

Have the procedure.. do relaxing and distracting things today, treat yourself to a cheat meal or takeout tomorrow night.

The anaesthetist and team will be very used to anxious and nervous patients - on my theatres rotation there were a few extremely nervous patients and they were dealt with in a very caring and kind manner..and woke up after a sleep

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/07/2019 12:38

I've had two laparoscopies for endometriosis, and honestly it will be fine. It really is a very minor procedure, but it's not the actual lap you're worried about is it? "I don't want to have it incase I don't wake up." So you're talking about ANY surgery scares you. Why? Have you had bad experience yourself, or someone close? Or have you read something? Are you prone to anxiety?

Your symptoms sound very draining, and if you want to have kids then yes, endo can affect your fertility so best deal with it sooner rather than later. And living with those symptoms with no end in sight - this op will help in your treatment. I'd honestly advise you to grit your teeth and have the op. As you say it's day surgery and you'll be home in a few hours. I've done it twice, I am grateful for the information it provided to my doctors to guide my treatment. Have the op. ((hugs))

goose1964 · 04/07/2019 12:44

When you go in for your op there will be a member of staff whose job is to care for you. They will hold your hand if you need it they are also there to take your mind off what is going on elsewhere.

I suggest that you look back at what led you to this and reme the pain, the uncertainty etc as you obviously agreed, at, the time, that this procedure is the best way to get on with the rest of your life.

Yeahnahmum · 04/07/2019 12:47

Just do it. Listen to your body. It is screaming for help.

PoppyFleur · 04/07/2019 12:52

I feel for you so much, I really do, fear is an awful crippling emotion.

Please have the surgery. It is the only way to investigate your symptoms and I promise you, the pain, fear and discomfort you have been enduring is far worse than going through the surgery.

You will wake up, you will be closely monitored and cared for and at the end of it all you will have some answers. You will have peace of mind.

Don't leave things to fester, don't leave it until it's too late to address a problem. Flowers

Original poster
trytrytry · 04/07/2019 12:52

I've never had any operations before and no experience with being put to sleep.
I think it's the lack of control that scares me.
Also I've been googling things that go wrong in surgery.
A girl who was having bum implants that had a heart attack.
I've had a gut feeling for years and really pushed and pushed for this lap for 5 years now.
I've only waited 3 months for it too.
I'm deffo going to do it.
I'm going to have a takeaway tonight and next week il treat myself to some online shopping.
Just something to look forward too.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 04/07/2019 12:53

Some of these symptoms could potentially be for more serious things. Your condition is not going to get better on its own and is getting worse. What is a minor operation now could turn into a much more serious operation if six months if you don’t get it sorted. Your doctor thinks you need this or you wouldn’t be having it - the NHS doesn’t do operations for a laugh. So, my advice to you is suck it up. Think about how much better you’ll feel after. Nobody likes or wants an op but you really need to see this for what it is. The way to make you better.

zazasabore · 04/07/2019 12:55

I had a laparoscopy post an ectopic. It was absolutely fine and the recovery time was almost immediate - it also turned out I was pregnant and I went onto have a very healthy birth. You just have to psyche yourself up to zone out and be as relaxed as possible - its like crying when your're sad - it always makes things worse. You need to find out what is happening to you and this is the only way - just go for it - keep your eyes on the prize especially if you want to start a family.

Ellapaella · 04/07/2019 12:57

Hey OP. I totally understand your anxiety. I had to have have an unexpected heart procedure earlier this year and despite being a cardiac nurse myself and my husband a doctor I was absolutely terrified. I think I probably knew a little too much about what could potentially go wrong. I had to tell myself very firmly that actually I didn't have a choice though, I had to have the op or my life would not be great in the future.
Try and focus what positive things are going to come out of this, hopefully a diagnosis and then an end to some of your symptoms, this could change your life for the better - focus on that.
General anaesthetic is scary but honestly you just drift off in a nice sleep, next thing you know you'll be back on the ward and it will all be over. I told the anaesthetist I was scared and she was so lovely. Tell the staff how you are feeling - they'll want to help and reassure you.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/07/2019 13:06

"I'm deffo going to do it."
Grin Woo-hoo! Glad to hear it, you're doing the right thing.

"I think it's the lack of control that scares me."
I know what you mean. It is difficult to hand yourself over in this way, but the theatre staff will have dealt with this so many times - they put me at my ease, they were so reassuring.

"Also I've been googling things that go wrong in surgery. A girl who was having bum implants that had a heart attack."
Stay away from Doctor Google, he concentrates on the sensational and rare! Your pre-op checks show you to be healthy, that's what they're for.

(Pretty sure the NHS doesn't do bum implants, my first thought on reading that was 'dodgy private cosmetic surgery', and bum implant probably wasn't at the top of the To Do List, sounds like they've had a lot done, been under too often. Remember - Google delivers you the sensational and rare.)

"I'm going to have a takeaway tonight and next week il treat myself to some online shopping."
Good plan!

Justaboy · 04/07/2019 13:06

Do you know OP that you could be hit by lightning or a meterotie tomorrow!!! Shock horror!!

The chances of harm happening to you during this procedure are a lot, lot less that the two incidents above!

You won't even remember it all ansthesia has a bit of memory removing effect I don't remember a thing of the one i had years ago:)

Ribenaberriesgowoo82 · 04/07/2019 13:06

Stop reading all the horror stories!! It's very rare that things go wrong.

steakandcakes · 04/07/2019 13:07

I'm 27 and had it last year,it was so scared.

But do it,its very quick and I had no pain after from the condition as they sorted it while already under. And no pain from the actual operation. :)

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2019 13:07

It’ll be fine, honestly. I’ve had far far worse and am here to tell the tale. I’ve also had 2 laparoscopies. They’re not that bad. You really would be better to get this sorted than wait. Gynaecology is shocking in this country and you’ve managed to navigate through. You’ve got this far.... almost to the end. Keep going.

Happyspud · 04/07/2019 13:07

This is scary but could you recognise what a privilege it is to have access to skilled medical care and diagnostics? Imagine having these symptoms and feeling something isn’t right but having no way to check or find out if you can/should treat a serious health problem. Now THAT would be properly scary. Because there are many problems that will kill you. But many of them thankfully, if found, can be treated.

Bear2014 · 04/07/2019 13:09

Good luck OP. I've had a few similar procedures and they were absolutely fine. Get some netflix on the next day and chill out. Hope you get the answers you need.

FuriousVexation · 04/07/2019 13:20

Stop googling! It will make your anxiety worse.

If you want to have DC then my understanding is that treating endometriosis is a vital first step.

The first time I had a GA I thought I would be pretty scared but TBH the worst thing was being nil by mouth from midnight prior - I was dying for a cuppa when I woke up!

My H came to pick me up when I was discharged (day surgery) and when we got home I realised he had very thoughtfully arranged me a sofa bed downstairs (bathroom was downstairs so this was a great idea) and laid out a selection of my favourite videos and comfort foods. (He even put up with me selecting Lord of the Rings, he fucking hated it and fell asleep after 30 minutes, but he did it for me!)

Tell you what, if you have sleeping problems, the first night's sleep after GA was amazing for me. I went 10 hours without waking once with back pain, which I hadn't experienced in a good 5 years.

You will be absolutely fine. Is your GF taking you and picking you up later? I told my H to go home rather than wait on the ward because what's the point, unless it's a massive drive.

You got this Flowers

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/07/2019 13:36

Also I've been googling things that go wrong in surgery. What you're not reading is the accounts from the millions of GAs that have gone perfectly well. I've had 5, starting with losing a wisdom tooth in a dentist's surgery in the old days when dentists did their own anaesthetics, to, most recently, being out for 7.5 hours. I'm still here.

They usually start by telling me to count to 20, which I do with fierce concentration, making damned sure they know I'm still there ... I've never got beyond 7. Next thing to happen is some irritating person repeating my name and dragging me out of sleep, and it's all over.

Original poster
trytrytry · 04/07/2019 13:39

@FuriousVexation my dad is taking and picking me up.
Luckily I'm only 5 min drive from the hospital so I can be home super fast.
He's not going to wait as it will be pretty pointless for him.

OP posts:
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