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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About being told to grow up

149 replies

Stripyseagulls · 04/07/2019 07:07

I went to Glastonbury at the weekend! It was brilliant and I had a great time. I was fortunate enough to ‘glamp’ in a bell tent so it was lovely.
I am in my 40’s with 2 kids and a demanding full time career. I haven’t been away from my kids at all in over 3 years and only maybe 4 times for a couple days since they were born- they are 8 and 12.
I really needed a break actually and to have a bit of fun- I needed to feel myself for a few days & its done me the world of good- life had really got on top of me.

I got told yesterday I needed to grow up by a close friend & it’s really upset me. That it’s not adult appropriate behaviour to go to Glastonbury. It’s made me feel shit and guilty for leaving my kids now.

Aibu to be upset by it? I feel like telling them to fuck right off

OP posts:

onalongsabbatical · 04/07/2019 07:44

Michael Eavis is 83, definitely time he grew up and knocked this childish Glastonbury phase of his life on the head, right?
Your friend - jealous, judgemental, wonder what her problem is?

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 04/07/2019 07:46

She’s jealous, most of the performers, djs and audience are 40 plus it’s a ridiculous thing to say. Feeling guilty for leaving your kids is your hang up though.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 04/07/2019 07:49

Isn't glasto full of older people these days? Most really young people can't afford it and the line up isn't really aimed at teens either

zafferana · 04/07/2019 07:49

Your friend is mean and probably a bit jealous - not necessarily of going to Glastonbury, since camping in a field isn't everyone's idea of fun - but maybe just at you having a fun weekend away and enjoying yourself. Ignore her.

SoupDragon · 04/07/2019 07:50

Your friend is boring!

I have no intention of growing up whatsoever.

chipsandgin · 04/07/2019 07:51

What a dick your friend is. She’d thoroughly disapprove of me too, tell her she’s a boring fun vacuum & ignore!

BogglesGoggles · 04/07/2019 07:51

Has your friend ever been to Glastonbury? She really doesn’t seem to get it.

Dodahdodah · 04/07/2019 07:53

Tell your, so called, friend to mind their own business. Life is too short to “grow up” if that means being a miserable twat.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/07/2019 07:55

ruined your Glasto high? It shoud have amplified it a hundred times. Have a re-think...

Your close friend is jealous. You have done something she dare not, cannot do herself. You have stepped outside her comfort zone... relish that! Regain that high.... and do it again next year!

Procrastination4 · 04/07/2019 08:00

Well I agree with your friend, actually-you do need to grow up...to realise that her opinion is just that, her opinion and doesn’t influence how you act or feel. I certainly wouldn’t be letting her destroy my experience as it seems to have. Now be adult enough to tell her that you’re perfectly grown up, realised you urgently needed the downtime, organized things so you could have it, and in future she can keep her less helpful thoughts to herself or find herself a new friend, thank you very much!

Sakura7 · 04/07/2019 08:04

She is being utterly ridiculous, and I agree with a PP that it sounds like she was deliberately trying to make you feel bad. Who the hell says things like that to their friends?

Also she clearly doesn't get Glastonbury if she thinks it's full of teenagers and current chart music.

wibbletooth · 04/07/2019 08:05

Seeing as you were approximately half the age of the performer that apparently got the loudest cheer (David attenborough) I’d say you were a perfect age to be there.

I wouldn’t want to go to Glastonbury because I’m not good without flushing toilets so I’m envious that you were able to go and cope (if I could go and have my own en suite accommodation I would definitely think it was an excellent thing to do). So actually that makes you the grown up one in all this.

You did a brilliant thing, it sounds like you had an amazing time so try not to let her spoil it - turn it around and listen to all the posters here who think you have done a fab thing and she is the one to be pitied for not only thinking that but thinking that she had the right to even think let alone tell you that makes her very unreasonable. Also pity her family having to grow up with such a joy-sucking miserable mum.

Know that you have done a great thing for you and set a great example for your dc.

mussolini9 · 04/07/2019 08:09

I got told yesterday I needed to grow up by a close friend

Um, no you didn't. Close friends don't snark & judge like this.
Also, Glastonbury is mainstream now - what part of it does "friend" find childish?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 04/07/2019 08:12

I was watching Glastonbury footage last night and surprised at the age of a lot of the audience.
I expected it would all be people in their 20s, but I could see more late 40s and 50s age people.

Original poster

Stripyseagulls · 04/07/2019 08:13

Thanks everyone- you have made me feel loads better 💛

OP posts:

Girasole02 · 04/07/2019 08:14

I'm 45, perform at Festivals (as in on the stage) and when I'm done, I stay and enjoy the rest of it. Festival make up, moshing, you name it.
If your friend got her head from out of her backside and gave it a go, she'd have a blast. As it stands, she probably hasn't got the guts and is jealous that you have.
Btw this person is not your friend. If she was, she'd be pleased about your experiences and 'high' instead of bringing you down. Ditch her, find some likeminded friends and enjoy festivals with them.

enjoyingscience · 04/07/2019 08:14

Your friend sounds like a bellend. I bet she wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if you went to a boring spa, or had a shopping weekend in Bath.

I'm very jealous of your fab weekend, and glad you recharged. We all need it.

EstuaryBird · 04/07/2019 08:14

Tell your ‘friend’ to mind her own business.

I go to 3 or 4 Rock festivals a year....with ordinary camping.......and I’m 64. You do what you want to do, and if you enjoyed it then do it again! Stuff your miserable git friend x

PouncerDarling · 04/07/2019 08:15

She's definitely jealous. And possibly controlling. She sees you achieve something she couldn't possibly do and she wants to bring you down a peg or two to make you a more manageable friend.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 04/07/2019 08:17

What a horrible spiteful comment. Having a few days to yourself at a festival is not hurting or inconveniencing anyone in any way. The only one that needs to grow up is the one criticising someone else's totally normal life choice about where they spend their free weekend. As if making their friend feel shit about themselves is appropriate adult behaviour. OP they are a twat. Are you going to say anything?

tomatostottie · 04/07/2019 08:20

Friend is jealous - maybe doesn't want to Glastonbury but wants to get away somewhere on their own.
Ignore.
Glastonbury is meant for adults surely -there seem to be a lot of adults there of a whole range of ages.

I wouldn't like to go to Glastonbury as it's not my scene but I've had some relatives tell me I need to "act my age" and stop roaming around and sleeping in a tent. I'm 42 and I do long distance trekking with tent.
People will always have an opinion but it's none of their business.
And I also often think that if they took a tent and went roaming about they would find it is fabulous and they would be less grumpy and mean.
Same for your "friend". A trip to Glastonbury would do them good.

Juells · 04/07/2019 08:22

Whoever the friend is, I bet they're preachy about everything. Ignore it, and don't tell them anything about what you're doing in future.

Wallywobbles · 04/07/2019 08:23

Just tell her joy sponges are no fun. Let her dwell on that for a while.

Rachie1973 · 04/07/2019 08:24

Jeez. Don’t let it ruin your memories! I’m 46 and I love clubbing!! I love that my kids are old enough for me not to have to worry about the angst of babysitters etc, and I dance and drink and enjoy the stress release.

Start planning your next festival!!!

Randyraver · 04/07/2019 08:25

Where were the kids while all this was going on

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