Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very uncomfortable with 17 year old Billie Eilish's Bad Guy video?

234 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 03/07/2019 15:31

Am I being an old gimmer?

It makes me deeply uncomfortable because she's not legally an adult, and I'm pretty certain the production team around her are all adults, possibly with the exception of an intern or two. Most of the men you can see in the video are.

It feels very exploitative. I don't know much about this singer, but a quick google shows she is open about mental health issues, so possibly quite vulnerable in a way, and then she's singing about bruises on her knees and rough sex, seducing dads (who are obviously going to be adult men!) and she's only 17 years old.

I'll be honest, I would have thought in 2019 this wouldn't be legal until the singer is 18 - or at least frowned upon by the industry as not acceptable? Not that it is magically better when someone turns 18 but the whole attitude seems very dated?

OP posts:
Hithere12 · 03/07/2019 16:29

Not really, it's written and produced by her and her 21-year old brother

Her brother?! 🤮🤮

Original poster
AbsentmindedWoman · 03/07/2019 16:29

But the song isn't about her being exploited. It's about her being the exploiter. I don't think you should really comment on her situation if you can't interpret song lyrics.

See this kinda reminds me of all the twaddle around how 'empowering' working as a lap dancer is.

OP posts:
Halloumimuffin · 03/07/2019 16:30

“Interpret song lyrics” get a grip it’s not fucking Shakespeare

Well it seems people are struggling with it when it's pretty obvious as you say.

Still waiting for this generation to produce any music worth engaging with

Do you also wish those pesky kids would get off your lawn?

MargoLovebutter · 03/07/2019 16:30

What porn imagery? Have you watched the video? There are loads of porn style videos but Bad Guy isn't one of them.

romeoonthebalcony · 03/07/2019 16:30

also makes me think it's Rizzo from Grease's "worse things I could do" updated for today's mainstream porn culture - put on the hard face and pretend things don't hurt.

Hithere12 · 03/07/2019 16:31

I’m surprised people on this board are fans. I’m 28 and I’d feel way too old to listen to it. It’s edgy cringe teenager music.

DorisDaisyMay · 03/07/2019 16:31

I agree with you op. I love the tune but I turn it off if it comes on the radio. I don't think the 'ironic sound' she makes in it redeems it either - like a cheeky nod to the audience an actor might make to show she doesn't really mean it.

What went through my head was 'poor young people' if they are getting this peddled to them as something to apsire to.

BlackSwan · 03/07/2019 16:32

The images which infantilise her made me very uncomfortable. Riding around on a toy car?

MargoLovebutter · 03/07/2019 16:34

LOL DorisDaisyMay, I think my parents thought the same about "Like a Virgin" and "Relax" back in the 80s!

LillithsFamiliar · 03/07/2019 16:35

You're making a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn't know much about this singer and who seems to have completely misunderstood the lyrics.
The power balance being such as it is in the music industry, I'm always confused when women criticise other women rather than focusing oh the thousands of male artists presenting shitty relationships as laudable.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/07/2019 16:37

I think it's interesting that you're sneering at the idea of somebody being a victim, or vulnerable.

I was sneering at you, not anyone who has been vulnerable or exploited!

missbattenburg · 03/07/2019 16:39

Still waiting for this generation to produce any music worth engaging with.

I'm not saying I'm a fan of recent music but as long as there has been pop there have been adults saying the latest offerings are:

  • crap
  • musically unworthy
  • dangerous to society's morals

...and more.

It is the role of teenagers to like music thier parents don't approve of. And the role of parents to disapprove.

After all, perhaps Elvis's shaky legs DID encourage dangerous sexual tendancies in his fans Grin

TheBigBallOfOil · 03/07/2019 16:39

No. I wish the pesky kids developed the capacity for original thought and didn’t have what passes for their brains warped by porn and social media, then kid themselves the dross they produce as a result is somehow “edgy”.
I ask for a lot, me

Halloumimuffin · 03/07/2019 16:43

Old man yells at cloud

starzig · 03/07/2019 16:44

To be honest it's not really a new thing, being 'shocked and disgusted' by newer music. Although many people are completely fine with fresh music, you will always get some pearl clutchers listening to the Coldplay of the generation whilst tutting loudly.

ReanimatedSGB · 03/07/2019 16:46

You could have a look at 'You Should See Me With A Crown' which is another of her songs. That has an anime video which depicts her turning into a spidermonster and eating a whole city.
This is a goth kid who likes playing with and exploring 'dark' topics in her art. Go clutch your pearls somewhere else.

MyLovelyLadyFlumps · 03/07/2019 16:49

Lol at being shocked by Coldplay Grin

Blueberrysponge · 03/07/2019 16:55

Well she did this one when she was 15? It's about making money with your mind in the gutter, using your V and getting a bellyache after.
Weird, but I'm not surprised when the industry is full to the brim of child predators.

Original poster
AbsentmindedWoman · 03/07/2019 16:56

I don't think I am misunderstanding the lyrics.

She's saying she's up for the bloody nose and bruised knees and rough sex playing D/s games with the guy who likes it 'really rough' and to 'take control'.

I think it's the bloody nose thing that gets to me the most. I've had a friend with a cracked cheekbone after a blowjob from a punch to the face - given in the context of a consensual BDSM relationship. Another, who had a detached retina from face slapping during a blow job.

But they were grown adults participating in what used to be a fairly niche kink.

I can't get my head round a teen having a bloody nose from sex being so mainstream now it's in a pop video.

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 03/07/2019 16:59

Bellyache is about a psychopathic killer - hardly the stuff of child predators!

MargoLovebutter · 03/07/2019 17:03

I think you are being deliberately obtuse AbsentmindedWoman and trying to say that your friends who suffered domestic abuse or physical abuse are somehow linked to this.

Bad Guy is about the woman being in control and not owned and the woman being bad too, in fact so bad that her own mother feels sorry for the men she is with.

Also are you saying that it isn't ok for women to like rough sex and talk about that?

EmeraldShamrock · 03/07/2019 17:03

I think my parents thought the same about "Like a Virgin" and "Relax" back in the 80s
Mine too. Dad hated Madonna, especially when I start copying her moves cupping my breasts.
I couldn't wait to be a grown up lady like her. Shock

Blueberrysponge · 03/07/2019 17:05

Exactly, psychopathic child killers!

Alsohuman · 03/07/2019 17:05

^If she reads all the lyrics
She’ll pity the men I know^

Yes, I think you’ve misunderstood the lyrics, OP.

SpookyMulder · 03/07/2019 17:06

Can't you see its exactly the opposite to her being exploitated?

She's saying all these bad guys can't control her and she's tougher than them, she's the ultimate 'bad guy'.

She writes all her own stuff with her sibling and she wears baggy clothes as to not be sexualised

I honestly can't believe people could watch that and get it so wrong Confused