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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very uncomfortable with 17 year old Billie Eilish's Bad Guy video?

234 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 03/07/2019 15:31

Am I being an old gimmer?

It makes me deeply uncomfortable because she's not legally an adult, and I'm pretty certain the production team around her are all adults, possibly with the exception of an intern or two. Most of the men you can see in the video are.

It feels very exploitative. I don't know much about this singer, but a quick google shows she is open about mental health issues, so possibly quite vulnerable in a way, and then she's singing about bruises on her knees and rough sex, seducing dads (who are obviously going to be adult men!) and she's only 17 years old.

I'll be honest, I would have thought in 2019 this wouldn't be legal until the singer is 18 - or at least frowned upon by the industry as not acceptable? Not that it is magically better when someone turns 18 but the whole attitude seems very dated?

OP posts:
Zaeem5 · 03/07/2019 20:09

The brother had quite a nice voice, so at least when he comes onto Billie’s songs it breaks up the mawkish ethereal drone that characterised all her songs. He’s got his own songs on YouTube - it would be interesting to see if these feature him with a bloody nose or bruised knees; or if he sings about feeling used but not used by women. I might have a look for comparison.

MyLovelyLadyFlumps · 03/07/2019 20:11

I’m sure if Justin Bieber had sung about getting bruised knees from giving older men blowjobs or getting a broken nose from an older female or male partner they would have been. But I don’t think he has. Funny that. Happy to be corrected though.

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 20:13

She's 17? She could sleep with all those adult men in the video if she wanted to.

Original poster
AbsentmindedWoman · 03/07/2019 20:13

Has there been a thread analysing Justin Bieber's pre 18 lyrics?

I don't know, has he had a song showing him with a bloody nose where he's talking about rough sex when still a minor?

OP posts:
Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 20:14

but I can see any teens I know looking at dads I would've if he was a fit one. My friend slept with the dad of a toddler she would babysit for at that age too.

Hithere12 · 03/07/2019 20:15

Has there been a thread analysing Justin Bieber's pre 18 lyrics?

It’s the cleanest shit you could hear 😂

“Baby baby baby oooohhhhh like baby baby baby noooooo”

Zaeem5 · 03/07/2019 20:17

Oh well that proves it then Owl. It’s all awesome. Thanks!

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 20:19

oh well that proves it then Owl. It’s all awesome. Thanks!

someone said they didn't know any teen who would, I was just countering that? Me and my friend don't consider ourselves exploited at all.

Eaudear · 03/07/2019 20:25

My friend slept with the dad of a toddler she would babysit for at that age too.

He shagged the 17 year old babysitter of his kid? Classy guy...

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 20:39

He shagged the 17 year old babysitter of his kid? Classy guy

I never claimed he was classy. But I wouldn't have called either of us that either tbh

Eaudear · 03/07/2019 20:43

How old was this guy? What do you think he got out of having sex with his child's babysitter who wasn't even an adult herself?

ILikeyourHairyHands · 03/07/2019 20:56

Is your mate called Rita Owl?

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 21:04

ILikeyourHairyHands

Is your mate called Rita Owl?

Eh, I'm not sure if this is a reference to something? But no. I'm not going to give her name out am I.

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 21:05

What do you think he got out of having sex with his child's babysitter who wasn't even an adult herself?

I think both parties got sexual enjoyment. Sort of the pont.

Morticiaismystyleicon · 03/07/2019 21:10

I don't know when I became a 'mum' and by that I mean 'typical mumsnetter' probably but I watched that video and I don't like it. And if my dd was older and of an age to watch it like fuck would I let her do it without a big old conversation about it (which I am quite sure she would roll her eyes at and tell me I don't 'get it').
But I think as an older woman I do get it. I get that she wants to be a sexually empowered woman who is in control and a threat to any man who crosses her. Wanting to be that doesn't make it so- if it were why isn't there a fat old 40 year old bloke bleeding where they've been rough for HER pleasure? Why is she the girl women are afraid of? Why aren't men who aren't into the same things as her the ones who are afraid of her because she has enough self respect to make sure it's a single man she's giving nosebleeds to?
It all smacks of 'I am wanted, therefore I am the dominant one' but once you grow up a bit you realise that isn't the case at all. Get him to give you a bit of head, you're smashing the stereotype for no-one but other young girls! Who might be thinking 'wow, she's in control here, this is goals' but aren't able to see through it.
Taking my newfound judgy mum hat off obviously she can sing about a subject without taking part, she can and maybe is (however unlikely) being ironic but being in the mainstream with this message aimed at youngsters who probably can't interpret it very well is a bad thing I think.

Eaudear · 03/07/2019 21:18

I think both parties got sexual enjoyment. Sort of the pont.

I am suspicious of any grown man who doesn't say 'no thanks, I prefer my sexual partners to be adults'.

Eaudear · 03/07/2019 21:19

Unless you are about to tell me that this dad was actually just turned 18 or something.

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 21:20

im suspicious of any grown man who doesn't say 'no thanks, I prefer my sexual partners to be adults'.

Good for you ?

Zaeem5 · 03/07/2019 21:22

You sound very young Owl. Did this “friend” shag the dad last week?

ILikeyourHairyHands · 03/07/2019 21:30

Film reference Owl, if you're a young 'un you may not get it!

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 21:30

You sound very young Owl. Did this “friend” shag the dad last week?

Thank you for patronising me. Me and my friend are both 23 now, do you enjoy trying to belittle people?

Owlchemist · 03/07/2019 21:32

I love how "friend" is in quotations marks. Do you think if it were really me who did it I'd have any issues telling you that?

countryroadstakemeh0me · 03/07/2019 21:33

On topic of you calling her exploited, at the end of the video she is definitely being the exploiter, please watch the video before basing your opinion on a highly warped truth.

countryroadstakemeh0me · 03/07/2019 21:36

Also anything about her having injuries from Rough sex is a very mashed up POV from the OP, I would advise looking up on genius for the meaning of the lyrics

Zaeem5 · 03/07/2019 21:39

“Thank you for patronising me. Me and my friend are both 23 now, do you enjoy trying to belittle people?”

I don’t mean to patronise you, but your being 23 does explain it a little. Just comes across a bit earnest and try hard.