To want to give this woman a Look and a Word?

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

Yesterday, DW, DD and DGS (22mo) were in the supermarket when DGS wandered off. They began searching in a mad panic, and DD asked another shopper if she'd seen a little boy dressed in xxxx. This woman looked her up and down, sniffed and said "Young mothers! Huh!" DD, frightened and on the verge of tears told her to fuck off if she wasn't going to help. Now, judging DD is not the question. The question is: would I have been justified in asking this...person what her problem was, and would she like a bigger one?

He was found a minute later. Luckily someone who wasn't up their own arse had realised he'd bolted, and was chatting to him.

Thoughts?

@BoreOfWhabylon
I can't believe it's TWO YEARS since you discovered you were going to be a granddad!
My first response exactly..!
When I was a young Mother, I lost DS twice (he was curious) and DD once (she panicked) and I've never forgotten that awful sinking feeling... Luckily, no-one that I came into contact with was a judgemental bitch like the one that your DD encountered - they all started to search at once (and the lost DC was found within a few minutes each time) so I'm not sure whether I'd have had DD's restraint or not...
Glad to hear the your DGS has your curiosity about the world... My best wishes to you and your family

ihateboswell

Thanks for reminding me of fucking Boswell!! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂🙈🤪

I think we’d all like to say we wouldn’t tell someone to fuck off in that situation.

But in the moment that would be the first thing that would come to my head too. I’d have probably said the same thing! Judgemental idiots like that need to be put in their place. And I’m a pretty reserved person.

Haha crispy, it annoys me too, I really need to change it 😂

Gatoadigrado, I can only put it down to a lack of reading comprehension ability, the only other explanation is deliberate misunderstanding/misrepresentation of others views in order to promote a particular agenda or opinion.

Tip I learned was to walk towards the exit quickly - advise staff there. Less chance the dc could have gotten out /been taken without you seeing.... Better than walking the aisles...
Ds was trolley bound until super reliable.
Last dc and hard lesson learned....

The person was extremely rude but generally ignoring them is best 4 your sanity. Of course they deserve to be told to feck off but not sure it’s worth getting angry at them. I imagine “the look” happened as is generally a subconscious response.

Deadposhtory

You all sound so very delightful....

YOU sound like an idiot 😆. Useless and unkind comment

@SpoilsburyToastGirl You’ve obviously never felt that panic of losing a child! This unhelpful trout deserved being told to FO! Nasty old bint

Telling her to fuck off was rude. Her making a comment about young mums was just as rude. Neither better than the other tbh. Glad your grandchild was found quickly. My dd ran off once, the pit of dread that unfolded in my stomach!

I never ever swear but I think in this case it was justified. There is not worse feeling than seeing a toddler disappear like that... I don't agree with going looking for her though.

I’ve just tried to imagine asking someone if they’d seen my lost child, whilst in a blind panic, and them stopping to judge me, rather than letting me get on with my search, or even helping.

Yup, I’m afraid my reaction would have been similar to the OP’s DD.

But then I’d have left it.

A better response would have been, 'I'm sorry that you feel like that' and walked away. Swearing tends to show you up as being poorly educated and unable to form meaningful sentences.

Her reaction was said under stress … so completely understandable, I think I'd have said the same if I'd lost a DC or DGC and asked somebody for help but got that reaction!

Charming

It is a horrible feeling when a child has disappeared. But, I do think children are a lot safer in a trolley. They can't run off, and they can't get in the way of other peoples trolleys.

would I have been justified in asking this...person what her problem was, and would she like a bigger one?

Seems to be very similar to the 'Guitar Hero' bully man from the other day.

Another problem escalated by another aggressive man sorting it with intimidation and threats of violence...and big squeals of yay my hero and wet knickers at such 'manliness' from MN.
Dear oh dear.

Wouldn't have said or done anything, would be too worried about finding child and feeling too guilty I had lost him!

I've had this before.
Walking into a shop and a woman - mid 30's maybe - and her teenage DD coming out. The mother looked me up and down and muttered; "Another teenage pregnancy!" to her DD. I was mortified bc not only was I 21 at the time but I had been with my partner for 3 years nearly and we were engaged to be married.
Today - aged 30 with 3 children and a DH, I'd have ABSOLUTELY told that woman to F off!
YWNU to feel that way OP! Hope your DD and GD were ok. Seeks like you love and support her. Good for you! 👊🏻👏🏻👍🏻

@DisgraceToTheYChromosome
But you didn't respond did in that way did you? Because it happened yesterday. So what is the point of this post? Old hag was nasty to your daughter and you wish you'd threatened her with violence? Do you want justification for that, in retrospect? I actually think you need to grow up and move on.

To want to? No. To do it? Of course.

But you didn't.

As for your DD, I do not judge her one iota for telling this woman to fuck off. My 2yo DS went missing in a shopping centre. Literally by my side one second, gone the next. I was picking up a prescription in Boots and he was stood holding on to the buggy (which had 5mo DD in it). Then he wasn't. He was nowhere in the shop either.

There is no panic like it. Any rational thought gives way to screaming terror. They have immediately been snatched by a predator on run into the path of a juggernaut.

I ran the length of that shopping centre, screaming at the security guards to lock the doors. Ridiculous, in hindsight, but I was so, so frightened. Suddenly a woman was walking towards me leading a little boy who looked like mine by the hand. I couldn't process that it was him, I was just so hysterical.

Her own toddler had been on the little £1 rides down the other end of shopping centre. When we'd passed earlier, I had told DS I had no change for them (whether this was true, I can't remember). He hadn't seemed unduly bothered, but as soon as my eyes were off him for a second, he'd legged it up there and jumped in alongside this woman's DD freeloader

As he came trotting back he proudly said 'I runned away Mummy!' Little sod. He never did it again, thankfully, because my heart wouldn't have taken it, but I have never forgotten that fear.

So, in that circumstance, someone wouldn't help me because I was young (which I was, in fact, as well as married, mortgaged and paying plenty of tax, because having a baby in your early twenties does not preclude such things), I think I'd be inclined to tell them to fuck off as well.

That being said, I wouldn't waste any more time thinking about the woman. If you have to feel anything about her, feel sorry for her. She can't have had much joy in her life to be so hard-hearted.