To lie to a family member that my sons Ill so he can look after the dog?

[teenmum18]

So we have a family wedding this Saturday but I totally forgot about the dog 🤦🏻‍♀️ can't get anyone last minute to look after her and definitely not putting her in kennels. Ds is 16 and isn't interested one bit in going but hasn't moaned and just excepted that his going. Would it be out of order if I tell the bride and groom that he's got a sickness bug and can't attend the wedding? He can stay with the dog and will happily have the house and food to himself so wouldn't feel left out about not going. I know he'd be fine with it but do you think it's a shitty thing to do to the couple?

Tempting fate by doing that if you ask me.

I’d be annoyed if I were the person paying for the wedding and someone cancelled a few days before to stay at home to look after a dog. You accepted the invite for him so imo you should go unless you have an actual valid reasonnnot to. Not prearranging someone to look after your dog isn’t one.

Well if he won't eat the food, seems they've wasted their money whether he goes or not!

Is it near?

Could he go for just the ceremony & meal?

The weddings about 50 miles from here. He didn't even know they was getting married until a couple of weeks ago when I suggested we better start shopping for his outfit 🙈

I agree with the consensus of opinion.
Tell the truth about the puppy and your son, and do pay for the meal he is missing, whoever has paid for it, whether the couple or their family.

It’s expensive to pay per head at a wedding, and one of the things that annoyed me for years was ( husbands) family members, not bothering to tell us they weren’t attending, and the button holes, and meals I’d paid for them in advance.

It’s annoying me all over again now

Is your son missing his prom then?

or put the pet head amount in a card.

For a second I had visions of a very nasty and bloody scene for the happy couple !

@Notcopingwellhere no his friends attended a different school. He isn't friends with anyone from his school.

Doesn’t matter who’s paid for the wedding! Someone is going to be paying for a meal that your son isn’t going to be eating. I can’t understand how you’d not thought about this until now

So he's missing going to his prom to go to a wedding and now you are thinking letting him stay behind to look after the dog and still miss his prom because you forgot to organise anything? Nice.

Don't lie, karma has a horrible habit of biting people on the bum when they lie about being ill.

@floraloctopus read the thread fgs! 🙄

Talk about jump to conclusions

@NoSauce well I'm sure the meal won't go to waste. Going by some of the tiny meals at weddings everyone will be fighting over that plate 🙈

You “totally forgot the dog” so it’s up to you to sort this out without adding to your mistake by lying.

Don’t do it - it’s a shifty thing to do - bare face lying to family. How on Earth you could forget about the dog is beyond me - but whatever. Don’t lie - tell them the truth and stick some money in the card (extra). Doesn’t matter who is paying for the meal - someone is losing out on money. And this is family for gods sake - you really shouldn’t do that to family. I would be so angry that someone pulled out last minute and then found out the parents lied about it. Tell the truth.

What’s your culture OP and why do people in it think it’s ok not to show up when you’ve said you will?

I don’t understand why if your son has never eaten a roast dinner in his life why you agreed to him attending in the first place. If he won’t eat it anyway, what a waste of bloody money.

@NCforthis2019 I'd organised with my mum originally to have the dog because my parents weren't going ( family dispute) but now they are going so can't have her. I forgot that my mum told me that last week and woke up in the night remembering that I need to sort her out. It's easily done. My brain doesn't work properly at the best of times 🙈

@floraloctopus read the thread fgs! 🙄

I posted my message about the prom at 17:03:11 and you posted your message about why he is not missing his prom at 17:02:24. 47 seconds earlier.

Have you never heard of cross posts?

Im sure they won't be too devastated that your 16 year old isn't going and of course your Ds will be delighted to have the peace and quiet for the day. Just tell them the truth, you couldn't get anyone to take in a puppy so Ds has to stay home.

@floraloctopus you still jumped to conclusions when someone asked if he's missing his prom.

My brain doesn't work properly at the best of times 🙈

You don't say!

you say in youre culture its not rude to say youre going to something and not go well its hard for us to give advice then as most cultures people are the smae and dont like being messed around

@floraloctopus yes I suffered a head injury 5 years ago and suffer with memory loss ☹️

@greenlloon what happens then if someone is genuinely ill?

I don't understand how you could forget about the dog but I don't really know why you're asking anyway if in your culture accepting a wedding invitation doesn't mean you'll actually turn up.

Why is it even an issue?

@teenmum18 but your son isn't genuinely ill. Perhaps you should have given him the option when the invites came out not to go, but obviously that's past now. How do you know they won't find out later on that you lied? I would just be honest. And even if they're not paying for the food, someone is!