Nursery took teddy

[Takenteddy]

When I dropped my child off this morning another child was misbehaving (not being violent or anything, they were basically not doing as they were told). They were given a warning, consequence was explained, nursery followed through with consequence.

So far, I totally agree. Normal discipline.

Except the consequence was the removal of that child’s comfort object and they were then left alone, crying for it, in the middle of the room.

It made me really uncomfortable and I would hate to think of my child being in that situation.

I don’t know if I’m being emotional and it’s just something kids have to suck up, or if the nursery were being unreasonable. Although I obviously discipline my kids, their comfort toys are sort of ‘sacred’.

So: were nursery being unreasonable to remove a comfort object as a consequence of bad behaviour?

Some years ago when I lived in West London, I visited a (very fancy and very popular montessori) nursery with a view to sending my ds there and a similar incident occurred while they were giving me the tour and they even bragged about how they leave "naughty children to cry until they learn to behave." And then went on to tell me that this child's (3 year old) "crime" was that he had had an accident and poo'ed his pants the day before and since they didn't do nappy changes, they had put him to sit in the hallway in his dirty pants for several hours until a parent was able to pick him up and that he had cried the whole time and was still crying the next day. And they seemed to find nothing wrong with this scenario and were actually quite proud of how they'd managed this child's "terrible" behavior. Needless to say, I did not send my ds to this nursery.

Honestly I think that is appalling.

Good Lord Sofia, that's just . The fact that they were willing to abuse little children like that - presumably this was pre- Ofsted? I would hope any nursery trying that shit now would find themselves with a Requiring Improvement grade and safeguarding concerns pretty sharpish.

Whao, Sofia, doing that to a small child and then having the nerve to boast about it is totally off the scale.

Sofia. That poor little one.
It makes you think of that sort of abuse was going on when visitors are there. I dread to think what goes on when its just the staff and kids.

Tough love won't kill them, but will teach them a lesson.

Its a Nursery. Its not Alcatraz.

That’s awful

I would be tempted to tell that child’s parents

Plenty of ways to discipline a kid yes of course. But maybe the daycar felt the need to bring out the big guns. Pretty sure the kid is ok now.

This is a mum thing to get worked up about. And a 2019 kind of thing. Heaven forbid you do wrong to a snowflake kid.

That's awful and probably just resulted in more fuss than was already happening.

Yeahnah I find the bullying of a small child most unpleasant and unnecesary. Why refer to a child who does not have the maturity to understand what 'consequences' mean as a 'snowflake' this implies that their feelings have no value.

SofiaAmes God thats appaling if anyone had done that to a child of mine thery'd be trouble. Children of that age arent snowflakes until they can understand things then they deseve kinder treatment the effects of ill treatment at that age can be very long lasting.

Once again SofiaAmes pity that poor child:(

Just who are these utter barstards who could do that?

My daughter has a tag blanket. It's not large just hand held with tags around the edges.
She is 3 and can get overwhelmed and shut down. The blanket goes with her sometimes when she wants.

I would not be happy if anyone ever tried to sue it against her and it would immediately make me question the suitability of her caregivers.

A majority of the time when I pick her up the blanket can be found in her key workers pocket where she's warmed up and wanted to ditch it.

But it's not a toy. It's not an option or a treat.

It was in 2002 or 2003. I wish I had known who the parents were...I was so appalled by it all.

Back to the OP's post...I don't even think that "giving consequences" to a 3-4 year old is necessarily the right way of modifying behavior. It might work for some children, but It certainly didn't work on either of my dc's. I found that redirecting them was far more effective and that trying to impose consequences generally just spiraled downwards.

It was in 2002 or 2003. I wish I had known who the parents were...I was so appalled by it all

I'd have been too, and whats the betting that somewhere theres a 19 year old with "issues" that date back to then:(

Sofia That sounded shockingly incredble, I thought that Montessori nurseries were the BEST type not the worst. It's more the type of treatment they gave in the 50s. Traumatic for the poor child to say the least.

Funnily enough, the nursery I visited that put all the comfort objects out of reach and refused the children access to them when they were upset was also a Montessori. It was a really chilly atmosphere. They didn't seem to like children, they seemed to want to control them. The nurseries where my DC thrived were the messy chaotic ones.

I find that difficult to get my head round because I've read a lot about them. I nearly went for a job at one. Nowhere does she say don't be kind to children, but I know it began a long time ago in the Italian slums, maybe things were different then. No excuse for cruelty though.