To think NCT attracts competitive middle class parents?

[lboogy]

I've noticed a huge difference in the attitude and outlook in life between the mum friends I made at hospital run pre baby events to the NCT crowd. NCT - wealthier more competitive in outlook, jobs and approach to parenting. Nhs - more relaxed mix of incomes and generally more ... pleasant

I do like my NCT friends/ acquaintances but I will confess to feeling a bit of the keeping up with the Jones.

Am I the only one?

Aren’t the NHS ones free and NCT not? If so I’d say that explains your experience. The only people attending NCT are wealthy enough to have enough spare cash at a typically financially tight time to attend extra classes. So they’re by default not going to be your working class people scraping by.

Not so sure re the competitive parenting aspect, but I guess if you’re motivated to spend good money on parenting classes you care pretty deeply about doing it to the best of your ability. And if you can afford NCT chances are you have decent careers.

Actually if I was being strictly judgemental over my NCT friends, two of us are middle class and the other three working class.

Now the mums to be I met at yoga we’re definitely middle class.....

"Decent" careers? So working as for a charity for eg as an Environmental educator or parcel delivery is what, indecent? You mean money. Don't dress up well paid as "decent". Money does not equate to morality for a lot of people. Except on mn of course

The most competitive parenting comes from the working class yoga...

There are no NHS classes in my area anymore. When I had dd1 5 years ago.tjere was one NHS class for 1 hour. Seats were set up in rows and there was no introductions or efforts to make friend.

NCTclasses will attract a certain type and are paid for so rule out a chunk of the population. That said I made some fabulous friends who i still see and speak to.all regularly. It would have been a lonley mat leave without them with no family nearby and fairly new to the area.

I think in conflating 'middle class' and competitive you're on to a loser. My NCT group are all indeed mostly MC (mostly all third level educated, a few teachers, a nurse, a few digital type people, just one who works as a tradesman), but we all get along really well and never have I met a more supportive and lovely bunch of people. Not I the least competitive.

YABVVU

I was worried about this when we did NCT but was also worried about not knowing anything so DP and I agreed to go for the information and not worry about the social pressure.

Our group was admittedly all couples with at least one professional and the other one in a 'grown-up' job but far from being awkward it has been the main support I've had during pregnancy and birth. We were probably lucky that we found a group of fellow sceptics but there is no competition at all- our WhatsApp group is full of people confessing about not knowing what to do or what's wrong. Lots of lovely photos obviously as well.

The NHS ones were useful but I will admit there wasn't anyone at them that I thought I could sit and have a coffee with at a later date. Our NCT group go somewhere different once a fortnight or so and the babies are from newborn to 6 weeks old, course done in May so time enough for it to fizzle out if it needed to.

I actually thought this and nearly didn’t go. I think it depends on the area you live in. I met some great people, obv not everyone was my cup of tea but no snobs. Stayed in touch with 4 of them, really normal down to earth, a good laugh. But my area is neither “leftie lentil weaver” nor “wealthy stuck up” (which is what I feared would be there) so I think we were fortunate

I'm also interested in people's experiences here. I am starting my classes end of July and really don't know what to expect. For context, I'm in a very very wealthy area but it also happens to be the TOWIE epicentre....

That was a long winded way of saying not all NCT groups are like that

I'm deciding what to do for antenatal classes so it's interesting to read your experiences.

Out of interest, does the competitive parenting differ much by area?

My NCT group are the bomb. 6 women who never would have met otherwise, all quite different careers, all quite different personalities, but we click and have helped each other through so much. Over 7 years we've dealt with miscarriages, still births, loss of a parent, illness, divorce, etc and also drank huge amounts of prosecco and holidayed together. Competitive parenting? Not so much.

YABU. We did NCT and we're not middle class. Out of the 8 couples, I'd say only one of them could be perceived as middle class but we all get on extremely well. There's no competitiveness and they're the closest friends I've ever had. It's obviously just your experience, it's not how it always is.

The only thing we competed over was how f-ing crazy our babies were and what ridiculous thing could they possibly do next

Keep your hair on Beesandcheese, ‘decent’ in my neck of the woods doesn’t just mean morally good, perhaps I should have specified by ‘decent careers’ I meant ones which paid enough to enable someone to attend NCT classes. Careers with a decent (adequate) salary. Though I suspect you knew that.

How much are NCT classes, out of interest?

YABU. They are the only birth and parenting courses that exist in my area apart from a couple of hours with an NHS midwife on birth. My group's babies are 8-9 months old; we've met up at least once a week since we were all pregnant and moaning about being overdue, potential inductions and insomnia. There's no competitiveness at all and a range of careers from a nurse to a retail buyer.

Of my NCT group 50% are really lovely and over the years we’ve become such great friends, which I’m sure will last for life. The other 50% are just very different people to us or else moved away so we were unable to bond. Only one of couples are competitive and everyone else thinks they are ridiculous for it.

I really like my NCT friends, they come from mixed backgrounds but have all done fairly well for themselves to be fair. We are a small group and I've never felt that any of them were competing in any way. Maybe I just got lucky or you got unlucky.

My NCT group are ace. Almost three years in and we still catch up regularly. Some meet up more than others (depending on work schedules) but I definitely see most of them monthly and all of them at least every four months. A mix of child friendly and adult only meet ups too. Absolutely no competitive parenting - just a genuinely warm and friendly group of parents who are muddling on as best they can like me and DH!

YABU

They are just classes for pregnant women, the classes vary depending on who attend them. They are as likely to be a earth mother as a Towie-Wag wannabee.
It's also true for the class organiser, I have heard some preach for "natural" birth and will not consider anything else than EBF babies, others will go into full details and be very informative about surgical options and bottle-feeding.

If you have a keeping up with the joneses vibe, probably means you are part of it!

I regret not doing NCT. We did the NHS one because we were strapped for cash and wanted to save money, but although the content was good, the fact it was free of charge meant that attendance was patchy and my group have not stayed in touch at all.

YANBU. I think it does. Didn't do NCT myself but having met people from the groups friends or relatives did they are competitive. At a 3rd birthday party we were at it seemed to be whose child ate the least sugar. Ok sugar isn't healthy but arrrrrrgggggghhhh!

My only "complaint" about the NCT is the pretend of being a "charity". The classes are a business like any other, and not cheap.

The other extra (NCT sales and so on) are run by volunteers, charge everybody and are a very nice profit- making.