Our 10 year relationship has come to an end today. We haven’t been happy for a long time but we got engaged and our wedding is all booked for next year.
The past 6 months, I’ve found myself. I’d been a SAHM for 16 years and I’d lost my identity. Now, I’m listened to, respected and I make a little bit of difference to people’s lives. I love this.
My DP couldn’t handle my new-found independence. My new spark. I’d struggled with severe anxiety for most of my life, until I started taking antidepressants. They saved me and gave me the courage to do scary things like get a job etc. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. But it’s come at a price.
DP showed me very little affection, had very little time for me, and I felt invisible when I was at home. I felt the loneliest I’ve ever been, while in the same room as him. He would pass comment on my weight(I’m a size 10-was a 6 when we met-3 kids later, what did he expect?!)
My head was turned. Someone showed me attention and it felt nice. We’ve been sending the odd message and have shared a kiss.
I told DP this morning. For the past 3 weeks, I e barely been at home when he is. I’ve sat in my car most of the time, even drank wine in my car, just to avoid the atmosphere at home. It gave me heart palpitations.
Now he keeps saying this is all my fault. That he isn't to blame at all. Yes it was me that ultimately ended it with what I did, but there's been so many things leading up to that, things that pushed me to that point. I refuse to take all the blame. Honestly, am I being unreasonable to think like this?