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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being a mean mum?

87 replies

Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 30/06/2019 08:13

Going to the cinema later today with the DC’s. Ds1 has been going on and on about getting a pick and mix and eating it all at the cinema. I’ve told him we can get a pick and mix but I will give him what I think is a suitable portion while at the cinema and the rest can be divvied out during the week.
Apparently I am a horrible mum and everyone else gets to eat a whole tub of sweets.
Some of his friends do seem to go through a lot of sweets. I have to have a level of control over his food intake as he is so obsessive over it and would eat till he’s sick.

AIBU to stick to a portion?

OP posts:
ColaFreezePop · 30/06/2019 08:16

Personally I wouldn't buy pick and mix because it is more expensive than a bag of sweets including those bags where you get smaller bags in them. But then I'm a horrible aunt, step-mother and mother....

tealandteal · 30/06/2019 08:17

Can you not just buy a portion that is sensible for the cinema? That way he can eat it all in the film and maybe learn a lesson if it is all gone by the end of the opening credits.

Kel801 · 30/06/2019 08:17

Maybe as it’s a one off / occasional thing he could do what his friends do. An overdose of sweets once in a blue moon will be ok

Pomgirl · 30/06/2019 08:17

Just get a smaller bag and let him eat them as a one off treat , maybe share some with him to reduce the amount and he’ll still think he’s had the full bag Smile

Newjobnewstart · 30/06/2019 08:18

Im mean as i refuse to pay cinema prices fir sweets. We go to supermarket on way to get some!

codemonkey · 30/06/2019 08:20

Of course you're not mean. Your job is literally to keep him safe and healthy and that means not letting him gorge.

But why make it difficult for yourself? Just buy an amount you're happy for him to have during the film. Pic n mix at cinemas is a rip off anyway.

Sirzy · 30/06/2019 08:20

If you have agreed to get pick and mix while you are there I would let him eat it there. It does seem a bit mean to let him get it then take most of it away!

Original poster
Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 30/06/2019 08:20

I’ve offered a bag of sweets but he is set on wanting a candy king. We would go to Tesco, I’m not paying cinema prices!

OP posts:
Verily1 · 30/06/2019 08:20

We never buy sweets at the cinema- get them before then you decide the size/cost.

Kidssendingmenuts · 30/06/2019 08:21

Same as above poster, I wouldn't pay cinema prices for pick and mix, I go to the supermarket on the way and buy a
Few packets from there. Usually the ASDA 5 for £1 are great choices and nice and small x

funmummy48 · 30/06/2019 08:22

No you're not at all mean. If anything, you're the opposite as I never allowed mine to have pick & mix due to the expense. 😉

Namechange042012 · 30/06/2019 08:22

Just buy the portion you want him to eat whilst at the cinema. Pick and mix is more expensive than sweets from the shop for the rest of the week

He is also then not knowing their are sweets in your bag he can't eat, which he will mither for all through the film. There is no harm at all in limiting his sugar intake, if he is having sweets throughout the week as well, it's not a treat and he doesn't need to go mad at the cinema.

unexpectedthird · 30/06/2019 08:23

I give mine a limit on the number of sweets they can put in their bags then they can eat them all. Jelly snakes count as 3 sweets, though, because they are huge!😂

jollyhollyhocks · 30/06/2019 08:23

Just let him have them. You are sucking the joy out of it. It's a treat- once in a blue moon.

LettuceP · 30/06/2019 08:26

Just buy the amount you are happy for him to have in one sitting. Unless your idea of a sensible portion is like 4 sweets? In which case you need to let him live a little Grin

TheCrowFromBelow · 30/06/2019 08:28

I’d let him have them all and then no more in the week, but I’d also limit the amount he’s allowed to cram in so it’s a portion I’m happyish with. The price of Pick and mix is brutal!
I like unexpected’s method - it’s clear and easy to control.

HennyPennyHorror · 30/06/2019 08:29

Let him have Pick n Mix but don't buy a silly amount. Just buy enough for the cinema.

Problem solved.

madcatladyforever · 30/06/2019 08:30

it's better he eats a small size pick and mix once than eats portions of it all week and ruins his teeth. The sugar can't be good for him either everyday.

Gizlotsmum · 30/06/2019 08:31

Meh. I let them eat it at the cinema. We don't go often and it is a treat. However I do find both of mine normally have some left so not the same I guess. They do tend to eat a share bag of sweets quicker than the tub of pic and mix from tescos.

LizzieSiddal · 30/06/2019 08:33

Give him a choice so he’s in control.

A smallish bag of pick and mix that he can eat all off at the cinema.

A large bag of pick and mix which you control how much he eats and the rest gets saved for the rest of the week.

With both tell him he can eat a bit more than he normally would be allowed, as it’s a treat.

Yawninfinitum · 30/06/2019 08:34

We once took a PnM bag home and used it to show them just how many sweets it takes to look like a portion.

So their version of a ‘decent amount’ in one of those candy king bags equates to three rolls of fruit pastilles and two bags of plus a few extras.
They all agreed they wouldn’t consider eating that much if it was from the packets but when in a PnM bag it never feels as much.

So we now do that horrible middle class thing of using a small snack bag at home and sharing out a different packets of sweets between us to make our own PnM and they love it.
They get to choose the stuff from Tesco in advance and then we make up mini packets and it feels just like PnM

It’s the bloody huge paper bags that are the issue. Canny marketing of course.

Beamur · 30/06/2019 08:39

P&m at the cinema costs the earth and if your DS is thinking of filling the bag and scoffing the lot, that's a bit gross!
I'd set a level in the bag he can go to and let him have that. I wouldn't bother taking sweets home for later.

Oysterbabe · 30/06/2019 08:40

I don't think it's better to let him have sweets every day rather than all in one go, it's still the same amount of sweets. I'd let him as it's a rare treat.

Jaffacakebeast · 30/06/2019 08:43

Unless you go to the pictures all the time I don’t see the problem, you could get him a small tub and let him finish it?

ComeAndDance · 30/06/2019 08:44

How ols id ds1?
A whole pack at 6yo is one thing, a whole oack t 11yo is another iyswim