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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being a mean mum?

87 replies

Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 30/06/2019 08:13

Going to the cinema later today with the DC’s. Ds1 has been going on and on about getting a pick and mix and eating it all at the cinema. I’ve told him we can get a pick and mix but I will give him what I think is a suitable portion while at the cinema and the rest can be divvied out during the week.
Apparently I am a horrible mum and everyone else gets to eat a whole tub of sweets.
Some of his friends do seem to go through a lot of sweets. I have to have a level of control over his food intake as he is so obsessive over it and would eat till he’s sick.

AIBU to stick to a portion?

OP posts:

wonderpants · 30/06/2019 08:44

We used to go to the newsagents where they could pick their own '10p mix' type sweets.
I would give them an amount and they could pick sweets up to it.
Great for early maths (if they aren't accurate- I would pay the extra or they could get more sweets)

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/06/2019 08:46

If you have a Poundland near the cinema they do small tubs (about as tall as a can of pop but a bit thinner). Costs £1 full regardless of weight, but actually isn't huge.

We went to cinema yesterday and the dc had one each and could eat the lot if they fancied. We rarely go to cinema and they rarely have sweets.

Stompythedinosaur · 30/06/2019 08:47

I think it sounds a bit joyless, a tub of sweets once in a while is no big deal really.

Whereissummerthisyear · 30/06/2019 08:47

What’s the point in saving some for the week? What kid could do that? It sounds like a stupid made up rule for the sake of it. Just get him some pick and mix and let him eat them.

AguerosAngel · 30/06/2019 08:47

Just let him choose a sensible amount of Pick n Mix and then eat it all at the cinema.

I’d let him have a little treat.

MrsTeaspoon · 30/06/2019 08:52

I’m obviously a mean Mum - I’ve never bought any large packet for the cinema. They get a 3-for-£1 bag each or some popcorn, from the supermarket. They also don’t get sweets even weekly...meh, so what. They like and get fruit and home-baking.

Eliza9919 · 30/06/2019 08:53

Jesus Christ, the joy police are out in force on this thread.

Surely as a one off it would be fine to let him enjoy himself.

BeyondMyWits · 30/06/2019 08:55

The op said it was Candy King at Tesco -

their offer gives you around 350g (3 quarters of a pound) of sweets for £3 - sometimes they do it for half that. You fill a cup and put the lid on for a set price.

That is a lot of sugar for one sitting - in our house would be too much even for a one off treat.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/06/2019 08:56

What's so special about Candy King? Isn't all pick n mix the same?

EdWinchester · 30/06/2019 08:56

I must be the meanest as I have never bought mine sweets, not once. Chocolate maybe. Mine eat popcorn at the cinema. DS2 insists on a fun to himself and then he eats about 1/10 of it 🙄

katewhinesalot · 30/06/2019 08:56

I don't buy sweets and chocolate for myself and keep it, because if I know it's there it'll constantly be on my mind. I buy what I want to eat knowing I'll eat it immediately.
Kids also have this same lack of will power.

Buy whatever amount you are happy for him to eat there and then.

katewhinesalot · 30/06/2019 08:59

Ooh having just read what the candy king is then I'd give him a few options.
A. Buy it and have it spread over the week
B. Choose something different completely
C. Share it with me - and make sure I choose stuff I like too.

I wouldn't be letting him eat that much at once.

Purplejay · 30/06/2019 08:59

Its hard to know if you are being mean without knowing how old he is or how many sweets you would allow.

I would buy less and let him enjoy them at the cinema.

VeryImportantTests · 30/06/2019 09:04

I’d get him the candy king - but first make him stand and watch for 10 minutes all the other kids sneeze and cough and lick and drop and put back all the sweets. Then he can do what he likes. Pick and mixes are gross.

Marvinmarvinson · 30/06/2019 09:07

I don't understand why you would buy a week's worth of sweets and then have them with you where he is going to be tempted by them. Why not just buy a portion he can have for the cinema? You're making life unnecessarily hard for both of you.

Decormad38 · 30/06/2019 09:09

We pick up sweets on the way. Problem solved.

Yinyen · 30/06/2019 09:12

YANBU, all the 'it's a treat' parents around here now have chubby teenagers. If it genuinely was just a one-off treat it will be fine but it's not, it's every other day. There seems to be a excuse to eat more sugar/fat. Birthdays, sunny days, xmas, Easter, Saturdays, end of term, school holiday picnics, school trips, etc etc.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 30/06/2019 09:14

Buy a reasonably sensible amount and have them all at the cinema. It's nice to do treats "properly"

Slightly different to OP's concern, but sometimes the DCs want icecream on an outing. DH prefers to stop at the supermarket afterwards and buy (cheaper) icecream there. Eating icecream after the event is not the same joy to a child as having it in the moment.

There are sensible reasons to control his intake of sweets, but feeling rationned at the time is a bit of a joy sucker. Letting him have the freedom to scoff the (sensible) amount as he likes at the cinema lets him keep some autonomy.

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 30/06/2019 09:20

Pick and mix - 🤢. All those grubby hands (have you ever tried using the scoop to pick up the ones that stick together - I’ve seen hands on there pulling them apart!).

I’d rather have a bag of Revels.

Just because his friends get what they like doesn’t make it right.

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected · 30/06/2019 09:23

I don't know what it is about pick & mix but kids have such a big thing about it. As it's a big treat put, I would let him enjoy it and not upset him. I know it's so hard because of teeth etc., but as long as it's once in a while, I think unfortunately you need to go with the flow.

Catsbooksandflowers · 30/06/2019 09:24

I would let him have say £3 worth of sweets as a one off.

Personally, I think it’s a healthy idea to pursue - it’s okay to splurge on special occasions but sweets shouldn’t be a daily thing.

codemonkey · 30/06/2019 09:26

I'm for eating in one go but it really depends on the size of the portion. Eating a bucket of sweets bigger than your head is insane.

BelindasGleeTeam · 30/06/2019 09:28

I always let mine have a kids pack from the cinema. Includes a small popcorn, a treat size bag of sweets and the rarely given big treat of a fizzy drink (coke zero). It's £2.

We probably only go 3 times a year and it feels special to get something there and tbh I don't think £2 is bad.

Pic n mix always seems hugely expensive for what you get.

codemonkey · 30/06/2019 09:29

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thedevondumpling · 30/06/2019 09:31

A dentist told me to let kids pig out on sweets and get the sugar hit over with. He said parents doling out sweets in dribs and drabs cause more dental problems.

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