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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think in-laws suggestion is crazy

102 replies

IamAporcupine · 29/06/2019 21:25

We (DH, DS7 and me) will be going to see them for two weeks in December. It's a 12 hrs flight, 7hr difference (it is relevant).
We would stay one/two days in their home city and then the plan was to all go to the coast to spend Christmas there, where one of DH's friends will be too. It should be a 2hr flight.

They now suggested DH could drive instead. It's a 10hr drive. Not a big deal allegedly, as we could do it overnight Confused

DH feels bad because they are usually happy to go along with our suggestions, so thinks we should just accept, but AIBU to think this is way too inconvenient? Plus, I do not understand what is the reason behind it (they haven't said)

OP posts:
Tallgreenbottle · 29/06/2019 21:29

Depends. If you're going to be there for over a week and driving is the cost of one or two flight tickets, and you can all go in one car... Then yabu.

You can take turns driving. Break it down in to three 3hr stints.

But I say that because I find driving much more fun than flying.

Awrite · 29/06/2019 21:29

Of course it's a crazy suggestion.

DowntonCrabby · 29/06/2019 21:29

No way, I’d be saying that won’t work for he 3 if you and that you want to enjoy your break after such a long day’s initial travel.

Do either of them drive? Would they do the drive alone? Can they maybe not afford/resent the cost of the flights?

Cath2907 · 29/06/2019 21:31

Madness! All that time in a car with a kid? Barking!

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 29/06/2019 21:32

@Tallgreenbottle - I should have said: we'd be there for 5 days, 6 max. and more importantly, DH is the only one who would drive

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 29/06/2019 21:34

I think it depends entirely on why they have suggested it.

Obviously a 10hr journey is more inconvenient than a 2hr journey (plus getting to the airport early, doing security checks etc?)

As PP said, if it's a money thing and means you could all do x or y with the saved money then it might be worth doing.

If it's just because they fancy being chauffeured instead of having to do airport stuff and flying then they ABU.

KindergartenKop · 29/06/2019 21:34

Don't do it.

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2019 21:34

Are they trying to save you money? Why would you drive for 10 hours with a seven yo?

KitKat1985 · 29/06/2019 21:34

On the whole I would say YANBU, but the thing about it being a '2 hour flight' is that you also need to travel to the airport, wait a couple of hours for the plane normally, then do a 2 hour flight, do passport control, wait for all your baggage, then still travel to your final destination. So really the '2 hour flight' will really still take about 6 hours to complete. So if there's a significant difference in price, it's not that mad a suggestion, although I can understand why you might feel it's too much when you will already be jet-lagged etc.

LynetteScavo · 29/06/2019 21:36

Do they hate flying?

Do they want to see something en route?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 29/06/2019 21:37

If they aren't able to help with the driving then they don't really get a say imo. If they don't want to fly, could they train? If they can't afford to fly, could you and dh help with the cost?

Without more info, it's madness to drive 10 hours overnight instead of taking a 2h flight.

HigaDequasLuoff · 29/06/2019 21:38

If you can't split the driving it's a terrible idea. No one can drive safely for 10 hours straight. you'd need to share out the driving or pay for an overnight stop.

But there's some countries where a 10 hour drive is fairly easy - straight roads, unlikely to see much traffic - are none of the other adults able to drive?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 29/06/2019 21:39

Why are you going to the coast and how much are the flights costing?

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 29/06/2019 21:40

Why in God’s name would u want to drive for 10 hrs?! Seems a bit batshit when u could just fly Hmm

Apolloanddaphne · 29/06/2019 21:42

If they are not able to help with the driving then the plan that is less onerous for your DH should be the one that you do.

Expressedways · 29/06/2019 21:43

Are they scared of flying? Short of cash? Want use of a car once you’re in the beach town? I do get that once you add in travelling to the airport, hanging around for 1-2 hours before departure, the flight fine itself, then getting from the airport to wherever you’re staying there might not be an awful lot in it time wise and for that many people driving will be much cheaper.

However, if they won’t be doing a share of the driving and are proposing your DH does 10 hours straight over night then that’s ridiculous. If he doesn’t want to, then inform them what flight you’re booking and tell them they’re welcome to book the same or meet you there.

DNAwrangler · 29/06/2019 21:43

Seems like you need more info, if they're usually the reasonable type. Why do they think the drive is better?

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 29/06/2019 21:44

The idea of driving at night is also terrible. I know I can't drive at night, I can't stay awake. If you do drive, make sure it's not at a time your DH would normally be sleeping.

Ihatehashtags · 29/06/2019 21:45

No way!! Driving for 10 hrs!! What a nightmare

Troels · 29/06/2019 21:46

No you're on holiday.
I would do it if I lived in the area, (money saving and have plenty of time) But it's a waste when you are on holiday and it wastes a day after arrival as you are shattered from a ten hour drive.

We used to drive overnight to Disney in the US, took turns, kids slept and the freeway was quieter. But we had time and hadn't just arrived in the country on our holiday.

sonjadog · 29/06/2019 21:48

My first reaction would be "no way", but I think you need to find out more about why they want you to drive rather than fly before writing it off completely.

Vivavivienne · 29/06/2019 21:49

I think the reason is critical to whether it’s reasonable or not. Ask them why, before knee jerk reacting....

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 29/06/2019 21:50

It is possible that they are trying to save money.
The flights will be ~£100 anyway, so we could pay for them if that was the problem, but they have not openly said. I have just told DH that we could pay anyway.

In any case, it is not a huge amount of money for them either, and paying the flights would not mean that they would not be able to do X or Y instead.

They did say that with getting to the airport and security etc etc it was almost the same amount of time. It is not, but even if it was, it would definitely not be the same for DH who would be driving instead of reading a book/etc during the flight!

OP posts:
EmperorBallpitine · 29/06/2019 21:54

I don't mind long car journey s like that (we drove to Switzerland with the DC one year) but in this case it seems unnecessary

SirGawain · 29/06/2019 21:55

Why don't you ask them why?