Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband not included me in will

285 replies

Finallyfeelstrong · 29/06/2019 04:26

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

OP posts:
llangennith · 29/06/2019 09:48

As a pp suggested @Finallyfeelstrong your best bet is to divorce him asap. Then a court will decide on the division of assets and you'll certainly get more than your husband intends to leave you with.

Mummyshark2019 · 29/06/2019 09:56

I would leave him now.

madcatladyforever · 29/06/2019 09:59

Seek legal advice, get your half of everything then divorce the fucker.

Did he even bother to consult you before drawing up this will? The total arrogance of the man.

INeedAFlerken · 29/06/2019 10:01

The thing is, he's done this. And even if you present him with a reality check of what a divorce would entail for split assets and he 'agrees to alter his will, he's still done this. And could easily do it again behind your back without telling you.

I think the trust would be gone for me and I'd be seeking legal advice immediately to start divorce proceedings.

Coronapop · 29/06/2019 10:03

What sort of man makes a will like that without involving his wife/discussing with her first? Why did he marry you? Appalling behaviour on his part. Get legal advice.

Whisky2014 · 29/06/2019 10:04

Id be seeking legal advice and also thinking about divorce

MrsMiggins37 · 29/06/2019 10:05

I’d be taking legal advice and stopping “looking after his children as my own” as a start.

Sorka · 29/06/2019 10:06

Your DH doesn’t think much of women does he? He has unilaterally decided who is getting what, leaving you with nothing but another woman’s child.

Can you clarify who owns what?

Juells · 29/06/2019 10:08

Your situation is absolutely precarious - loads of responsibilities stretching way on into the future, and no security. You'd be better off on your own unfortunately, as at least you'd know what your financial situation will be, and you'd be in control of your own finances.

LillithsFamiliar · 29/06/2019 10:08

None of the advice on here is worth anything because there simply isn't enough information in your OP for anyone here to be able to advise properly. You would need to tell us who owned the properties; which country you are in; why it's taken six months for you to see his will, etc.
He seems to have treated you very badly but since he took six months to share his will with you, the dynamic of your relationship seems distinctly odd.

codemonkey · 29/06/2019 10:10

Speak to a solicitor. The whole thing sounds dubious anyway - you don't state guardians in a will. Children don't form part of your estate FFS and there are no legally binding demands you can make about who would look after them if you died.

Greenkit · 29/06/2019 10:12

Gonna place mark for this one

Whisky2014 · 29/06/2019 10:13

@LillithsFamiliar or...she just needs to seek legal advice since she has no idea who any of us are..

GabriellaMontez · 29/06/2019 10:15

I wonder who wrote his will...

it's not nice and I'd be having a little think about this man's character.

You need to see a solicitor !

Juells · 29/06/2019 10:19

@LillithsFamiliar
None of the advice on here is worth anything

That's a bit sweeping. Just about everyone has said 'Consult a solicitor, and take a good look at your relationship.'.

Whosorrynow · 29/06/2019 10:21

I think this 'will' has been written on the back of a fag packet

Whosorrynow · 29/06/2019 10:22

Maybe just humour him, play along with him and let him think it's valid but go and see a solicitor and get proper advice so that you are protected if he dies before you?

llangennith · 29/06/2019 10:24

@LillithsFamiliar the OP doesn't 'need' to tell us all that. You're just being nosy.

HollowTalk · 29/06/2019 10:46

I would be looking at divorce. Even if you got him to rewrite the Will, there would be nothing stopping him from changing it the day after. You wouldn't know. He's using you - don't put up with it.

BarbarianMum · 29/06/2019 10:52

divorce him now and get your half

If you think the OP will be awarded 50% of everything after 1 year of marriage you are totally deluded.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/06/2019 10:55

Well, no sign of OP! Not indication of WHY they got married in the first place (after 7 years together) and exactly how OP came by this will. All she says is “I have been given a copy of the will” or similar phrasing, not that her DH showed it to her to discuss it. Together with the very unclear info as to who owns what legally, I don’t know why people have bothered wasting their time giving OP advice. There isn’t enough to go on.

MrsLindor · 29/06/2019 11:04

It's perfectly reasonable for both parties to a second marriage to protect their assets for their children, I certainly wouldn't get married again without legal advice up front to ensure that what's mine now goes to my DC, however, that should be a joint conversation, before you get married. Any husband who presented me with a will he'd had drawn up without me would be finding himself presented with a divorce petition.

Those who think the OP would get 50/50 after a year of marriage, with no shared dependant children, have clearly not been through the divorce process.

tomatostottie · 29/06/2019 11:10

I find it really annoying when someone posts asking for help.
The OP is a bit garbled - it's not clear who owns what etc.
People ask for clarification - no sign of the OP.

I have no idea what this means for example.
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

AutumnCrow · 29/06/2019 11:12

The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed

This alone is crackers.

And who are the trustees of the Trust going to be?

tomatostottie · 29/06/2019 11:12

Ooops... I didn't mean I find it really annoying when people post asking for help FULL STOP. I meant to say I find it really annoying when people post asking for help and the OP is a bit garbled etc.....