Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

I'd be thinking of leaving him just for doing all this on a promise to another woman.

You are his wife, he should be taking care of you in the event of his death and trusting that you will look after the kids (financially etc/in your will). If he doesn't think that much of you, why is he with you?

I'd be looking to fuck him off.

Juells I didn't meant the consult a solicitor advice I meant the posters claiming to know what OP would get if she divorced him instead etc.
Consult a solicitor is the best advice.
llang I'm not nosy. It's just if OP is looking for any worthwhile advice about how to proceed than that's the information that would help. She would be better in legal than AIBU admittedly.

I think Finallyfeelstrong needs to comeback on the thread and answer some questions.

I’m intrigued by this thread as I’m going to have to make a Will when I buy a place.

Stay married to a sly shit for 15 years ? Would you ??

I couldn't stay married to someone who gave zero fucks about me.

His actions have shown that he literally doesn't care about you.

@finallyfeelstrong You need to come back and offer some new information.

That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids

Why would you pay rent (and to whom??) once your DH is dead? Clearly you don't own the home even if you contributed to the mortgage and the question is why not. Why did you not have your name on the deeds?

For example, your stepson doesn't need a guardian beyond the age of 18 - and you say your DH has grown up children, grandchildren and a son who is at home 'as his home life was chaotic'.

So is there a big age gap between all his children? (Some have their own children but one is still living with you and his dad.)

Unless he is under 18, he'd not need a guardian. And once he reaches 18 he won't need one.

I had guardians named in my will but once my DCs were over, 18 I changed that part of the will.

A lot of people on this thread are condemning the OP's husband. However, it is not clear that he has done anything wrong.

The OP's post is somewhat confused but it appears there are two properties. It is not clear whether either of these properties is jointly owned but it appears that she owns one of the houses outright (subject to mortgage) and her adult children live there along with one of his children. When he dies she will, if I am right, continue to own that property and whatever proportion of the marital home she owns (probably 50% if it is jointly owned). She will have a life interest in the rest of the marital home. She says she can't sell the house. That is possible but unlikely. It may be that she has misunderstood the nature of a life interest. Normally a life interest does not stop you from selling the house to move elsewhere or downsize. All it means is that any capital left over must be preserved for the children, although you can invest it and spend the interest if you wish. It is fairly normal to use a life interest for a blended family. That ensures his children will eventually inherit whereas, if he left it to her outright, the OP could disinherit his children and leave it all to her own.

Without knowing the value of the properties and any other assets it is impossible to say whether or not this is fair on the OP.

Naming the OP as guardian of his younger child has also been condemned on this thread but again, that is fairly normal. If you have a blended family and want your current partner to look after your child it is normal to either put that in your will or in a side letter. If there is a dispute this is evidence of your wishes. It isn't conclusive - the courts won't follow your wishes blindly. But it can be persuasive, particularly if you set out your reasons.

If the OP wants to know if the will is fair she should take it and consult a solicitor.

I'm pretty sure he can't do that. It depends on where you live. Speak with your DH first but seek legal advice ASAP.

Stop, people!!! This is all just complete speculation. People are spending time giving advice on totally hypothetical situations!

They're asking questions, mostly.

Sorry I haven’t replied until now but had kid activities.

Thank you for all the advice and replies and to be clear It’s not that I don’t want his children to lose financial security in the future and for me to gain everything. It left me feel worthless and very much unloved. That as my husband he couldn’t think that in our future as a person he is also supposed to love and care for I would be left to live in a house I have paid for.

So to give a bit more background I rented the property which was bought by him just after we met. I paid the mortgage and all renovation costs. Once we married I moved into his house and pay only towards bills and food. He owns 15 other properties now and another business. These have been acquired since we met. Causing massive arguments between due to pressure and lack of time.

It state in the will I’m only entitled to the first house and everything is in trust for his kids. It makes no provision for me financially at all. That’s what hurts. I could live building a home and family for us all and if he passed first I lose my husband and my home.
No financial arrangement has been made for me. I do have a private pension and in death benefits etc and life insurance but he is named as it’s part of pension that the other person is named did on marriage.
It was written by a solicitor
I just think in 10-20 years time I would be left heartbroken and lost everything and none of that matters to him.
I agree his children should be taken care of but feel so unimportant that I literally cried after he left.
I’m named as a trustee to ensure his kids spend the money I have helped make!
Feel like just leaving

In a divorce you will presumably try for 50% of the assets accrued during the marriage, which is 7.5 houses! And on his death you get 0 houses.
You'll do better divorcing him!

The value at the moment of everything with his life ins is 2.1 million as it stands now.
Inclusive of business, housing portfolio and life insurance.

If you divorced him now, you would be a lot better off.

I'm afraid I would leave. :(

You were foolish to pay for renovations to a house you didn't own - paying 'rent' doesn't qualify as paying down the mortgage, I suspect. Water under the bridge though.

At least now you know where you stand. You can't trust him not to reinstate that will in the future, even if you persuade him to change it now. Being trustee for his children would be a right pain in the arse, I wouldn't dream of taking that on for anyone.

It’s a strange feeling as I don’t care about money It’s just hurt me that he wouldn’t want to ensure I was actually financially ok. But to just have anything I’ve helped build in terms of our family and our futures just taken. I have visions of attending a funeral and also losing my future home etc and all bank accts, savings he has ensured are in his or his business name so it would just be a pension I would have or my salary depending on when it happens. He didn’t even think of buying a small life ins policy for me as a safety net. As I’m clearly not entitled to any thought

The house and rent/mortgage deal was supposed to revert to my being on the house deeds and him taking his off but he has changed his mind since I got married

Divorce, I'm afraid. You're very low in the pecking order, and he's weaselled you out of having ownership of anything. Even if you leave with very little now, it's still better than waiting until you're in your sixties and being hit with the realisation that you have nothing.

He's not trustworthy. He's already reneged on your deal over the house, and has ring-fenced all money.

@Finallyfeelstrong have u spoken to him? Expressed your concerns?

I wouldn't speak to him at all before consulting a solicitor, even if I had to wait a few weeks to get an appointment. He'll butter her up and promise that everything will be sorted out, but he's already shafted her over the house, so he can't be trusted.

She needs legal advice, not worthless reassurances.

You could divorce but please don't do it for the money because after a year, regardless of what pp are saying, you wouldn't get anywhere near 50%.

What would you consider fair?

Personally I can see why he wouldn't want his estate to go to you, and then to your children.

I expect most people would want their wealth to reach their children. I know I'd protect mine if I married again.

If he's good with money - and it sounds like he is - I'd assume he's seen a SH lawyer and got everything watertight.

Yes, he got very angry and said his money is for his children. Basically made me feel like a gold digger for even asking why as his wife I’m not provided for. He said his first family needs to be taken care of.
I just don’t even want to be near him and looking at how I can get a house big enough for me and all my kids so I don’t contribute any longer to purely the kids security. I hate that I’ve even said that as It’s nothing really to do with me wanting actual cash... it’s just knowing I wasn’t thought of except to ensure it was safe guarded against me.

So he doesnt give a shit what happens to you.

Various of my friends are in second marriages, with property involved, and have worked out together how everything is to be left so that both families are looked after properly.

I can see a situation arising, if the OP's husband is much older, where she spends years and years looking after him in old age, to be left in the finish with nothing but a lifetime tenancy on a house she'd been told would be hers. Worst of all worlds - the cost of upkeep of the house and not able to sell it or move. Houses are not cheap to run.

OP, could you just clarify what this means?

“to give a bit more background I rented the property which was bought by him just after we met. I paid the mortgage and all renovation costs.”

Are you saying that you met him then soon after he bought a house in his name and then when you moved in (with your DC but without him) he became your landlord?

Were you in a romantic relationship at that point or was he actually just your landlord? (I’m confused about the exact point at which you actually became a couple and started living together)

When you talk about rent and mortgage are you trying to say that you paid him rent as a landlord but that that was effectively paying his mortgage for him?

If that’s the case then it sounds more like a business arrangement to be honest. What was happening with your assets in YOUR name at that point?